“To die will be an awfully big Adventure.” - Peter Pan.

The heavens got a new star this morning…and her name is Motor.

Motor passed away peacefully in my arms this morning at 9:19am.

Her last day yesterday was beautiful. We took her to a lake where an angel (a kind paddle-boarder) sang to her. We enjoyed the sound of the lapping water, the birdsong, and a scenic drive while listening to the soundtrack of Hook. She slept in my arms last night by my heart as she always does, and drew her last breath this morning as I whispered in her ear how much I love her and how grateful I am that she was my daughter.

Would that we would all depart so well.

I am overcome with relief that it was fast, gratitude for her peace and the love we shared, as well as sorrow for the Motor-shaped hole now in my life. But I know she is still working her magick in picking out my next future companion when it’s time.

It does not surprise me that my magickal familiar departed for her next adventure at 9:19. 9/19 is my birth date - numbers which I see everywhere all the time on the clock, license plates, addresses, phone numbers, etc. 919 is an auspicious number for me, meaning “coming full circle, a return to origin.” It does not surprise me that my magick familiar returned to Source at 9:19.

We are burying her tonight at a lake with flowers we grew ourselves.

I will be ok. I have a beautiful support system which has rallied around me in love. I will feel all my emotions and let them out rather than stifle them. I will weep and make art, sleep and write, hydrate and cleanse. I will be ok. I am alive…and I will live fully…and when it’s my time for the eternal sleep, I will hope to go as bravely and gracefully as Motor, full of stories of my Adventures to share with the Angel of Passage.

This is a time to celebrate Motor’s life and the joys we shared. I am so grateful I got to share with you her precious sassy sweetness. She is now on the next part of her grand Adventure. And I invite you to celebrate with me the love and joys you shared with your past animal family members in the comments or DMs.

I ask for your patience and continued support during this time. I will return with stories to share. They will take a new shape and a new and deeper meaning as this channel goes through a rebirth process, and they will be worth sticking around for.

Thank you for being on this Journey with me while we grace this planet for a short time with our Light together.

Sending all the Love and the Light of all the Stars in the cosmos to you, my precious Starlings.

Hello my darling Starlings,

This is a bittersweet post.

I have been struggling to write or finish any audio this July-Aug because…my heart is mourning, shifting, and growing.

My precious 🐈‍⬛Motor, my steadfast muse, my magickal familiar, is in the transition of ascending back to the Spirit Realm. She has gifted me with unconditional love, guidance, protection, and comfort for 16 marvelous years. She helped make me a witch, a mother, a steward, a guardian, a more enlightened soul. Now she has decided her mission is fulfilled.

She has stopped eating, is rejecting the medication, and is moving very slowly, but she does not seem to be in pain. In fact, she’s been active and explorative. I’ve tried every treat under the sun to tempt her; broth, fresh cooked chicken and fish, lickable treats, and even ice cream (her favorite thing to try to steal). She is done…and I have to respect her decision. We have opted to let her go naturally and just keep her comfortable. I have taken time off work to be with her.

I believe our animal family members are here to show us how to die. They go before us, teaching us how to experience and accept death. Some people learn to resist it and control it, trying to extend it in misery or force it to finish before its time. Others learn to let Nature take her course and surrender to the Universal Story. To all things a perfect timing and a valid part of Experience.

Motor is giving me her last gift in teaching me about death. I have died mentally and spiritually many times and been reborn, forged in trial by fire, recycled stellar material giving life to new stars…but Motor is my first experience of significant physical death…and I know I am in good hands as she teaches me how to be a present steward. She is showing me how to release the illusion of control.

I am filled with memories of her love, present in this moment with her and her needs, and looking forward to processing grief healthily by letting myself fully feel it to move through it. I am looking forward to see how my life changes, welcoming in the next magickal animal companion that Motor’s spirit chooses to send me when it is time.

I will TRY (no promises) to finish the rest of the Mandalorian Chapter, and then rest my spirit, and return to create something beautiful with this pain, and it will likely be something different than what you are used to.

I have been re-evaluating my mission, goals, and values with this business and I sense a rebirth around the corner. I want to make art and content that is deeply meaningful - not to say it’s not already meaningful or that it hasn’t touched and moved who it needs to move - but…more varied and conscious.

I am feeling drawn to make more SFW content and to work seasonally in alignment with the natural cycle of Mother Earth and my inner Muse. I’ve struggled to make content during the Spring-Summer time when the spirits of the sun, grass, water are calling my name and friends are issuing jovial invitations. I always do my best writing in the cold Fall-Winter months, when the sky is melancholy and introspective, lending that natural ASMR of plinking raindrops and petrichor, a steaming mug in hand and a blankie wrapped around my shoulders.

I want to explore more fantasy worlds and characters without the pressure of sex, I want the slowburn build, I want to create interactive Quest storylines that directly involve YOU and your feedback/engagement, more relaxing ASMR, and I want to record dramatized narrations of some of the esoteric and philosophical books I’m reading. So I am re-evaluating my mission statement for this channel. I may make my NSFW content exclusive to Subscribe Star in the future to make my Patreon channel open to all, and more in alignment with Patreon’s standards so as to avoid the continuous censorship issues.

Thank you for being a part of this journey and lending your empathy during this time. Feel free to ask me questions or offer suggestions on how you’d like to see this channel evolve into something impactful and even more meaningful. We may be online folks, but we are a tribe and you have an influence. You’re not just here for the voyage - you’re part of the crew.

I’ll tell Motor you send her hugs🐈‍⬛🫂💖.

Watch the drawing here: https://youtu.be/SBpRMqU9Pj0?si=u4X2BAae410xwtAg

My free Patreon and SubscribeStar subscribers participated in a poll back in February 2025. In exchange for their engagement, they were entered into my first ever Raffle Drawing for 1 Custom Art giveaway valued at $200+!

Moving forward, subscribers at tier SuperNova or higher will be entered into random raffles, contests, and giveaways as a tier perk!

🎉Congrats to the Winners!🎉

1st place: Mr. Nobody

2nd Runner Up: Bunny Spady

3rd Runner Up: Parcye

*The winners will be contacted via email and given instructions. Please respond by the deadline in your email or you will automatically forfeit your prize to the next runner up.

https://youtube.com/shorts/4Wkrrlv44hQ?si=ZclZYgVOdfdeJFx0

Happy PRIDE month, darling Starlings!

(Watch the video for the full announcement).

I apologize for my absence this month - There wasn’t a moment where I wasn’t thinking of you. I did mean to be more active (thanks ADHD🤪), but the fact that I was busy helping with Pride Month, audio editing, AND the Renaissance Faire means I have been filled to the brim with inspiration!

I have some really fun stuff coming your way in July due to my adventures this month🥳, as well as working on not only my own fanfiction audiobook (chapter 1 preview coming your way tonight or tomorrow), but I have also been CAST AS A VOICE FOR A DRAMATIZED LGBTQ+ FANTASY AUDIOBOOK written by my new friend, a local drag performer. This is my first voiceover collaboration with someone else and I am so excited!

This month I did record several audios, Including a SFW psychedelic relaxing ASMR, and now they are in the editing/sound design stage. So don’t worry, Nova is taking care of you😘.

My darling Starlings, have I got an out-of-this world surprise for you☄️!

Today I just recorded my first SFW ASMR Audio and damn does it SLAP!!! Well, I suspect it may only fully impact those of you who are 🍄“Elevated” and 🪁Enlightened…and hopefully it may lead others to Awaken. Or rather, Sleep - as this is supposed to be a relaxing, soothing 🌌TRIP☮️ with dreamy cosmic psychodelic ~v i b e s~.

I maaaaay have been hitting my vape when I wrote this and it is the most cognitively UNHINGED thing I have ever created…and I’m diggin’ it! I hope you will too, even if it doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t have to make sense, the same way the Dreamscape doesn’t have to make sense. This is all a Waking Dream, afterAll🔮.

Already I have had quite a packed month and we’re only a week in! I went to a Diva Drag Brunch, and networked with one of the Queens and might narrate their LGBTQ urban fantasy book! I started drawing something hyper-realistic in a new style (also while Elevated🪁😅). Went camping with friends. Started reading “His Darkest Craving” by Tiffany Roberts. Have had multiple TRANSCENDENT and 🕯️Enlightening experiences with my former roommate (of all people😳😅) that include a night of fully present ~silence~ and sensory experience, and yesterday he invited me to experience music with the sense of TOUCH and feel the waves caress and ripple over and through my body until 5:30am while in a public liminal space. We watched the sunrise in a mall parking lot, lol. And now I have invited said former roommate to move back in due to financial instability - moving forward with a new dynamic and better understandings/boundaries. I caught a summer cold for the second year in a row🤧 and have nearly lost my voice - but STILL managed to record a sensual, healing, 🌙dreamy audio even with a scratchy/sore throat. Skillz, yo😎.

And next week I am going to a Renaissance Faire for the weekend (I might share pics with higher tiers because my costume is too adorable not to share), and later in the month there will be a ton of local PRIDE events🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️, I might even be volunteering for some depending on time/need. I’ll also be making a Mafia Part 1&2 Compilation for those who want to hear that episode from start to finish.

Even though the next couple months look uncertain, my life is never dull these days😁! It makes for good inspiration! And I’m along for the ride🌊.

Do you have any fun plans for Pride Month, besides supporting this queer Futa niche creator😜?!