🐈⬛Rebirth
Hello my darling Starlings,
This is a bittersweet post.
I have been struggling to write or finish any audio this July-Aug because…my heart is mourning, shifting, and growing.
My precious 🐈⬛Motor, my steadfast muse, my magickal familiar, is in the transition of ascending back to the Spirit Realm. She has gifted me with unconditional love, guidance, protection, and comfort for 16 marvelous years. She helped make me a witch, a mother, a steward, a guardian, a more enlightened soul. Now she has decided her mission is fulfilled.
She has stopped eating, is rejecting the medication, and is moving very slowly, but she does not seem to be in pain. In fact, she’s been active and explorative. I’ve tried every treat under the sun to tempt her; broth, fresh cooked chicken and fish, lickable treats, and even ice cream (her favorite thing to try to steal). She is done…and I have to respect her decision. We have opted to let her go naturally and just keep her comfortable. I have taken time off work to be with her.
I believe our animal family members are here to show us how to die. They go before us, teaching us how to experience and accept death. Some people learn to resist it and control it, trying to extend it in misery or force it to finish before its time. Others learn to let Nature take her course and surrender to the Universal Story. To all things a perfect timing and a valid part of Experience.
Motor is giving me her last gift in teaching me about death. I have died mentally and spiritually many times and been reborn, forged in trial by fire, recycled stellar material giving life to new stars…but Motor is my first experience of significant physical death…and I know I am in good hands as she teaches me how to be a present steward. She is showing me how to release the illusion of control.
I am filled with memories of her love, present in this moment with her and her needs, and looking forward to processing grief healthily by letting myself fully feel it to move through it. I am looking forward to see how my life changes, welcoming in the next magickal animal companion that Motor’s spirit chooses to send me when it is time.
I will TRY (no promises) to finish the rest of the Mandalorian Chapter, and then rest my spirit, and return to create something beautiful with this pain, and it will likely be something different than what you are used to.
I have been re-evaluating my mission, goals, and values with this business and I sense a rebirth around the corner. I want to make art and content that is deeply meaningful - not to say it’s not already meaningful or that it hasn’t touched and moved who it needs to move - but…more varied and conscious.
I am feeling drawn to make more SFW content and to work seasonally in alignment with the natural cycle of Mother Earth and my inner Muse. I’ve struggled to make content during the Spring-Summer time when the spirits of the sun, grass, water are calling my name and friends are issuing jovial invitations. I always do my best writing in the cold Fall-Winter months, when the sky is melancholy and introspective, lending that natural ASMR of plinking raindrops and petrichor, a steaming mug in hand and a blankie wrapped around my shoulders.
I want to explore more fantasy worlds and characters without the pressure of sex, I want the slowburn build, I want to create interactive Quest storylines that directly involve YOU and your feedback/engagement, more relaxing ASMR, and I want to record dramatized narrations of some of the esoteric and philosophical books I’m reading. So I am re-evaluating my mission statement for this channel. I may make my NSFW content exclusive to Subscribe Star in the future to make my Patreon channel open to all, and more in alignment with Patreon’s standards so as to avoid the continuous censorship issues.
Thank you for being a part of this journey and lending your empathy during this time. Feel free to ask me questions or offer suggestions on how you’d like to see this channel evolve into something impactful and even more meaningful. We may be online folks, but we are a tribe and you have an influence. You’re not just here for the voyage - you’re part of the crew.
I’ll tell Motor you send her hugs🐈⬛🫂💖.