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Whatsawhizzer
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Whatsawhizzer
I write web novel content. Most of my work is fantasy and science fiction, usually involving isekai, harem, animalgirls, and other light novel genred content.
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Whatsawhizzer
Public post

Journal Entry #10 

Dear Diary,

Today feels like I'm standing on a tightrope, trying to balance between conflicting emotions while keeping my focus on the task at hand. It's like walking through a fog, where everything feels hazy and uncertain.

I can't shake the memory of that kiss with Lily during the audition. It replays in my mind like a broken record, leaving me feeling both exhilarated and confused. Part of me wonders if it was just acting, if it meant nothing beyond the role we were playing. But another part of me can't deny the spark I felt in that moment, the way my heart skipped a beat as our lips met.

But life doesn't pause for my inner turmoil. There's a big project in school that demands my attention, and I can't afford to let my personal feelings cloud my focus. So, I bury the confusion deep down inside, like burying a treasure chest in the sand, hoping it won't resurface until I'm ready to confront it.

I throw myself into the project with determination, pouring over scripts, practicing scenes, and collaborating with my classmates. The hustle and bustle of school life provide a temporary distraction from the storm raging within me.

Fluffington (my bed) feels like a refuge at the end of the day, a place where I can retreat from the chaos of the world and try to make sense of my jumbled thoughts. But even as I lay my head on the pillow, sleep eludes me, and I find myself drifting in a sea of uncertainty.

Tomorrow is a new day, and I can only hope that clarity will come with the dawn. For now, I'll focus on the project at hand, pushing aside the questions that linger in the shadows of my mind.

Feeling conflicted but determined,

Wawchan

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Whatsawhizzer
Public post

Journal Entry #9

Dear Diary,

Today was confusing for me.  I feel like I'm being pulled in a million different directions. So, remember that audition I was so nervous about? Well, it happened, and let me tell you, it was nothing like I expected
Before the audition, I met up with Lily, and she surprised me by apologizing for what happened at the club. She said she never meant to put me in that uncomfortable situation and that she understands if I'm upset with her. I could see the sincerity in her eyes, Diary, and it made me realize that she's not just a friend, but someone who genuinely cares about me.
But then, things took another unexpected turn. As we were waiting for our turn to audition, Lily whispered in my ear that the commercial we were trying out for involved two female lesbians who kiss. My heart skipped a beat, Diary. I didn't know how to process this information.
Lily convinced me that I should go for it, even though I'm not gay. She said, "It's called acting for a reason, Wawchan. You don't have to be gay to play a gay character." And, Diary, as much as I wanted to protest, a part of me felt drawn to the challenge.
So, when it was our turn to audition, I took a deep breath and leaned into the role. Lily and I shared a kiss for the cameras, and for a brief moment, it felt like time stood still. It was my first adult kiss ever, Diary, and it left my brain spinning with complicated emotions.
After the audition, as I walked home alone, I couldn't shake the feeling of confusion swirling inside me. Was it wrong to pretend to be someone I'm not? Was it okay to kiss Lily like that, even if it was just acting? I don't have the answers, Diary, and I'm not sure if I'll ever find them.
Fluffington (my bed) feels like a sanctuary right now, but my mind is racing with questions and uncertainties. I just hope I made the right choice, whatever that may be.

Feeling conflicted and unsure,

Wawchan 
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Whatsawhizzer
Public post

Input on Wawchan's Journal Entries


To make things easier, rather than have two polls, I'm just going to redirect you to the Patreon poll.

https://www.patreon.com/posts/thoughts-on-100467427

Hopefully that works for you guys. 
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Whatsawhizzer
Public post

Journal Entry #8

Dear Diary,

I don't even know where to begin. Tonight was supposed to be about letting loose, dancing, and forgetting about all the stresses of acting school. But instead, it turned into a nightmare I never imagined
Lily convinced me to go to the club with her, promising a night of fun and excitement. And at first, it was just that. We danced, laughed, and for a moment, I forgot about all my worries. But then, everything changed.
Lily introduced me to this director she knew, and at first, I was excited. I thought maybe this was my chance, my big break. But as we talked, his comments took a turn that made my skin crawl. He started making inappropriate remarks, insinuating that if I wanted to make it in the industry, I'd have to do more than just act
I was horrified, Diary. It felt like the ground was crumbling beneath me. And to make matters worse, Lily, my friend, didn't seem fazed by any of it. She just brushed it off, like it was no big deal, like it was just the way things are.
She even whispered to me, "This is how the business works, Wawchan. If you want to get ahead, you might have to give head." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Is this really what it takes to succeed in this world? Sacrificing my dignity and self-respect?
I felt sick to my stomach, Diary. I excused myself and rushed out of the club, tears streaming down my face. The city streets felt cold and unforgiving, a stark contrast to the warmth of friendship I thought I had found in Lily.
Now, I'm sitting in my apartment, feeling lost and broken. I thought pursuing my dreams would be about talent and hard work, not compromising my values and integrity. I don't know what to do, Diary. I'm scared and confused, and I feel like I'm standing at a crossroads with no clear path ahead.
Fluffington (my bed) feels like the only safe haven right now. I wish I could make sense of everything, but right now, all I can do is cry and wonder where I went wrong.

Feeling shattered and betrayed,

Wawchan

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Whatsawhizzer
Public post

Journal Entry #7

Dear Diary,

I’ve been really conflicted. I'm tangled up in a web of excitement and worry. So, get this – there's this casting call posted on the bulletin board at school, and my heart did this little happy dance when I saw it. It's like a golden ticket to my dreams, Diary!
But, of course, with every spark of excitement comes the storm of doubt. The casting call seems like this magical opportunity, but what if I'm not good enough? What if I mess up and ruin my chance to shine in the spotlight? It's like a tornado of insecurities swirling in my head.
And here's the twist, Diary – Lily is also going for the same casting! I found out when we were chatting after class, and she was all like, "Wawchan, we should totally audition together! It'll be so much fun!" I smiled and agreed, but deep down, I felt this knot of worry forming in my stomach.
What if we end up competing against each other? What if one of us gets the role and the other doesn't? I want to support Lily, and I don't want our friendship to turn into some dramatic competition. She's become my first friend in this big city, and I don't want to risk that for a role.
I feel torn, Diary. On one hand, this casting call is a dream come true, a chance to prove myself as an actress. On the other hand, I'm afraid of the potential strain it might put on my friendship with Lily. It's like standing at a crossroads, unsure which path to take.
Fluffington (my bed) feels like a comforting confidante right now. I wish I had a crystal ball to see how things will unfold. Maybe I'll muster the courage to talk to Lily about my fears and find a way for us to support each other without letting this casting come between us.

Hoping for a smooth casting and a stronger friendship,

Wawchan

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Whatsawhizzer
Public post

Journal Entry #6

Dear Diary,
Oh my stars, today was like a surprise plot twist in my adventure! So, in the midst of my acting struggles, I actually made a friend. Yes, a friend! Her name is Lily, and she's this super energetic and bubbly girl in my acting class. We bonded over our shared confusion in Shakespearean drama, and it felt like finding a fellow explorer in the vast jungle of acting theories.
After class, Lily invited me to go to this club with her. A club! I've never been to one, Diary, and the idea of it makes my heart race like a hummingbird. I mean, I've read about clubs and seen them in movies, but experiencing it in real life is a whole different ballgame.
Lily was all like, "Come on, Wawchan, it'll be so much fun! We can dance, let loose, and forget about acting theories for a while." She's so persuasive and full of enthusiasm that I couldn't resist her infectious energy. I nodded and said, "Sure, why not?" But inside, Diary, I'm low-key freaking out.
The thought of loud music, flashy lights, and people dancing like no one's watching is both thrilling and intimidating. What if I embarrass myself on the dance floor or accidentally step on someone's toes? And don't even get me started on the club fashion – it's like decoding a secret language of glitter and glam.
Lily assured me it's all about having fun and not taking things too seriously, but it's easier said than done. I want to step out of my comfort zone and embrace this new experience, but the unknown is kinda scary.
Fluffington (my bed) feels like a safe haven right now, but a part of me is curious and excited about the prospect of a night at the club. Maybe it'll be a chance to add a sparkly chapter to my adventure. Lights, camera, clubbing – here goes nothing!

Nervously anticipating the dance floor,

Wawchan

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