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Scotts Valley, CA 04/01/2024 For immediate release.
My friends I have the biggest news imaginable! I can now reveal that today Trinian Games has signed a deal with Netflix for the rights to the live action Missy TV series!
That's right! Missy will soon be coming to your tablet, phone, laptop, smartwatch... maybe even TV if you're old enough to remember when that was a thing.
I am of course extremely excited to begin bringing the world of Missy to life on the big/tiny screen, but for full disclosure, I did have to make one or two teeny tiny barely noticeable little changes to the world and its characters to get the idea past Netflix's diversity and inclusion team. Let's take a look at those, shall we?
First up, they were very impressed that 100% of the characters are gay, but still felt that more representation was needed - after all, lesbians are all well and good, but what they really wanted to see was gay men, (plus the director needed a role for his nephew,) so I'm sure you'll love that in the upcoming adaptation, Ruby and Jennifer are now Rodney and Jebediah!
Although this does somewhat change the whole "no male has ever set foot on Sapphory" lore, I saw the wisdom in what they were saying when I noticed the size of the cheque they were wr...I mean when they made such a persuasive argument.
They also made a good point about how "hideously white" Sapphory is, with non-caucasians represented only by Annie, Samira, Miss Musumi, Miss Cuchucha, Sophia... oh and Leona, I guess. And I suppose several of the nurses and various NPCs. And some of the guards and most of the cities of Okonrin and Taiwhanga. Well anyway, again, they put another zero on that cheque, so we agreed to what is informally known as "The Disney Protocol" and all redheads in the game are now black instead. Check out the new incarnations of Abbie, Malia, Vicky, Katie, Allison, Kaitlyn and Hayley! This makes me particularly happy, because as we all know, people can't possibly enjoy something unless the cast looks exactly like them. They're also rocking the new improved Alancia's uniform, which is much more conservative and inclusive, and less likely to stir impure thoughts in men, because that is immoral.
In the same vein, they also weren't super-happy with the main character getting repeatedly humiliated and abused, as they felt that a "girl boss" theme would be more empowering. So now, when the teachers tell her to get undressed, Missy instead throws them some shade and makes them see things her way. I don't want to say too much, but there may be a dance number in there, which quickly spreads from classroom to classroom and ends up with the entire school getting involved! Oh, one last thing, Netflix felt that the use of lesbians for titilation was inappropriate, so the show will have no sex scenes or nudity and a U rating. The punishment plinth will be replaced with the hug chamber and uniform inspection will now be "talking about how we feel about uniform time." Oh and to make it more relateable to the target audience, it'll be set in California, not in Sapphory.
Oh, and barely worth mentioning, but Miss Paris will be a 75-year-old man. We're sticking with the red dress and heels though. I mean, it is current year. I know that some of you may be a little uncomfortable with some of the changes made, but on the flipside, I'm now so rich that I don't need to make the game any more, and at least we're still closer to the source material than the Witcher. Later, peasants!
I hope you're all as excited as I am for Missy: School of Sass coming this fall!
Also don't forget to swing by Netflix Official and check out the full trailer!
Today I am deliriously excited to introduce the first full Missy spinoff game - Missy: World of Men!
In this testosterone-fuelled new adventure, we'll be stepping away from the prissy, girly, cooties-riddled island of Sapphory to explore the dangerous and manly outside world, a place destroyed by war where only those with the biggest beards and hairiest chests can survive!
Play as a young man, who returns to his hometown after his father unexpectedly died, leaving only his MILF of a step-mother and twelve busty step-sisters in this highly original slice-of-life cash grab.
Unite the tribes!
In the world of men, strength = bitches! Gather your party of gym bros and Genghis Khan your way across the land like a swarm of horny, ripped, musclebound locusts! Impregnate everything! (Though obviously we never show any of the babies, childbirth or rearing of the young. Who's got time for that, when you're already off spraying more seed around like some kind of overexcited spaniel?)
Gain mutations!
You demanded, and I listened! "Trinian," you said, probably, I don't know, I wasn't listening, "we want more dicks!" so by entering the irradiated nuclear wastelands, your character can gain... no, not cancer as you might expect, but mutations! Grow a dick on your forehead! Grow one out of your arse. If you can find the mythical spooge-pool, you can even ascend to become the legendary Edward dick-hands! Become a tentacle dick monster and pleasure fifteen women at once, (with 45 dicks, one in each hole on each woman,) in a scene I totally didn't cynically include just so I could add the lesbian tag!
Optional NTR!
Facepalm your way through the DLC expansion BBC Nudes, in which you can take your harem to the lost continent of Ebonia, where radioactive isotopes have caused the native inhabitants to grow cocks the size of your arm. Watch in horror as all your sister-wives fall victim to their unstoppable black magic!"I fucked your mom!" - Ten Inch Tyrone.
World of Men is an exciting new addition to the Missy Cinematic Universe, finally introducing the one thing that my carefully crafted unique, original world of only lesbian women was missing - men! Now, at last, there is nothing special about my game!
Check out the awesome video trailer below!
Trinian
(I have had this piece ready to go for several weeks, and in spite of recent events, I wasn't about to wait a year to use it. Hope you have enjoyed this absolutely super-serious announcement. Thank you all for the good wishes. I'm getting there slowly.)
We'll also be moving to MTL. Magic comes to Sapphory! A wave of unstable energy passes over the island, a remnant of the radiation from the great war, perhaps? Either way, it transforms the bad girls into Magical Bad Girls! Armed with these new powers, you can be sure they will cause all sorts of mayhem and mischief! Only Missy can stop them! Armed with magical new abilities of her own, she must use her new powers of Hokuto Pantsuken to restore balance and bring great justice to all!
UNLIMITED POWAAAAH!New abilities!
Lift skirts with your mind, distract opponents with spontaneous orgasms or just disintegrate their clothes where they stand!
Saviour or devil?
Missy can battle the bad girls and restore justice, or she can join them in a reign of darkness! Will you be Sapphory's saviour or its destroyer?
Schoolyard fights will be getting a little more intenseThis is certainly an ambitious and quite different direction in which to take the game, hence it also introduces a bold new art style! You may well have some reservations about it, however, before you get too worked up... check the date.
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