Announcing Missy: School of Sass!

Scotts Valley, CA 04/01/2024
For immediate release.

My friends I have the biggest news imaginable! I can now reveal that today Trinian Games has signed a deal with Netflix for the rights to the live action Missy TV series!

That's right! Missy will soon be coming to your tablet, phone, laptop, smartwatch... maybe even TV if you're old enough to remember when that was a thing.

I am of course extremely excited to begin bringing the world of Missy to life on the big/tiny screen, but for full disclosure, I did have to make one or two teeny tiny barely noticeable little changes to the world and its characters to get the idea past Netflix's diversity and inclusion team. Let's take a look at those, shall we?

First up, they were very impressed that 100% of the characters are gay, but still felt that more representation was needed - after all, lesbians are all well and good, but what they really wanted to see was gay men, (plus the director needed a role for his nephew,) so I'm sure you'll love that in the upcoming adaptation, Ruby and Jennifer are now Rodney and Jebediah!

Although this does somewhat change the whole "no male has ever set foot on Sapphory" lore, I saw the wisdom in what they were saying when I noticed the size of the cheque they were wr...I mean when they made such a persuasive argument.

They also made a good point about how "hideously white" Sapphory is, with non-caucasians represented only by Annie, Samira, Miss Musumi, Miss Cuchucha, Sophia... oh and Leona, I guess. And I suppose several of the nurses and various NPCs. And some of the guards and most of the cities of Okonrin and Taiwhanga. Well anyway, again, they put another zero on that cheque, so we agreed to what is informally known as "The Disney Protocol" and all redheads in the game are now black instead. Check out the new incarnations of Abbie, Malia, Vicky, Katie, Allison, Kaitlyn and Hayley! This makes me particularly happy, because as we all know, people can't possibly enjoy something unless the cast looks exactly like

They're also rocking the new improved Alancia's uniform, which is much more conservative and inclusive, and less likely to stir impure thoughts in men, because that is immoral.

In the same vein, they also weren't super-happy with the main character getting repeatedly humiliated and abused, as they felt that a "girl boss" theme would be more empowering. So now, when the teachers tell her to get undressed, Missy instead throws them some shade and makes them see things her way. I don't want to say too much, but there may be a dance number in there, which quickly spreads from classroom to classroom and ends up with the entire school getting involved!

Oh, one last thing, Netflix felt that the use of lesbians for titilation was inappropriate, so the show will have no sex scenes or nudity and a U rating. The punishment plinth will be replaced with the hug chamber and uniform inspection will now be "talking about how we feel about uniform time." Oh and to make it more relateable to the target audience, it'll be set in California, not in Sapphory.

Oh, and barely worth mentioning, but Miss Paris will be a 75-year-old man. We're sticking with the red dress and heels though. I mean, it is current year. I know that some of you may be a little uncomfortable with some of the changes made, but on the flipside, I'm now so rich that I don't need to make the game any more, and at least we're still closer to the source material than the Witcher. Later, peasants!

I hope you're all as excited as I am for Missy: School of Sass coming this fall!

Also don't forget to swing by Netflix Official and check out the full trailer!