🔓 [Art] "Upgraded!" #11 (Bad End)

From: support@binsk․limbsys․cum
Subject: Upcoming changes to your account
____________________________________________

{user:Name}, we come to you today with momentous news.

The Binsk Corporation is delighted to announce it has entered into, and fully executed, an agreement to merge with the Cytofract Helix exacorp.
Taking effect immediately, the two titans of industry shall become one, singular but slightly larger titan!

What this means for us

Binsk has long stood at the forefront of scientific research and technological advancement, creating products that would both immeasurably benefit society as a whole, and, in a more real way, measurably benefit our shareholders.
Now, we are proud to have reached the apex of achievement, the true apotheosis of all philanthropic endeavors: being bought out by a bigger company.

Binsk upper management was unavailable for comment at time of writing, every member having cashed out the instant the deal went through, but we wish them all a pleasant early retirement and the best of luck in their imminent lobbying careers!
At a press conference held earlier today, Cytofract Helix also expressed their enthusiasm for this historic merger, with an official spokesperson stating: "We are satisfied with the purchase."

While this may feel like (and, effectively, is) the end of an era, it is also the start of a brand new future, full of limitless potential. The Binsk Corporation is excited to become part of the Cytofract Helix family!

What this means for you

If you have already exited the Community Fuck Toy Program:
Good news! You don't need to take any further action. Your Binsk account, along with any associated subscriptions, currencies, and credits, will be migrated automatically!

If you have not yet exited the Community Fuck Toy Program:
Congratulations! You are excited to become part of the Cytofract Helix family.

Final words

Thank you so much for sharing this incredible journey with us, and for trusting the Binsk Corporation with all your business and entertainment needs, personal details, powers of attorney, legal rights, etc. While all of those things will now be wholly subsumed by Cytofract Helix, we're certain they will be treated with all the care and respect legally required of a class-9 exacorp*.
We're so proud to have come so far together, and can't wait to see what the future holds!

Please note: if you have any questions or concerns, we would ask that you submit a support ticket to our customer care department. However, as the customer care department has been dissolved along with the rest of the company, we will instead ask that you simply search your inbox for any previous email correspondence from our support staff, that you may peruse it at your leisure and remember all the good times :)

*Assuming appropriate enforcement by regulating bodies.

🔓 [Art] Batter Up!

🔓 [Art] "Upgraded!" #10

From: support@binsk․limbsys․cum
Subject: Wonderful news, {user:Name}!
_______________________________________

Binsk Limbsys is thrilled to announce that a new cybernetic limb production cycle is finally underway!

As there are a great many orders to process, and to ensure equity for all our customers, we will be implementing a queue system -- but don't worry: since your account has the Early Adopter status, you'll be among the first in line to receive your order!

Your current place in the queue is:
Thank you for installing the Queue-Bit™: Digital Queue Management Suite (Evaluation Edition). To complete setup and start managing your first queue database, please follow the steps below.

We hope you're as excited as we are!

Please note that due to popular demand, it's possible some customers may still not receive their orders during this cycle. However, given the overwhelmingly positive response to the Community Fuck Toy Program so far, we're certain those impacted will be understanding!

Of course, in the spirit of fairness, and begrudging legal compliance, anyone wishing to opt-out of the Community Fuck Toy Program is free to do so at any time. Simply fill out and file a valid opt-out proposal form, and your request will be scheduled immediately for eventual processing, pending review.

Otherwise, any affected customers will automatically be placed on a lower-priority waitlist to receive their limbs, and exit the program, at a later date. (Unaffected customers with high community feedback ratings may also be transferred to this waitlist, for obvious reasons.)

Once again we'd like to thank you for choosing (or residing in one of the many fabulous areas in which your only choice is) Binsk Limbsys! We appreciate you putting your limbs in our hands -- and letting us put our customers in your holes.

🔓 [Art] "Upgraded!" #9

From: support@binsk․limbsys․cum
Subject: Tonight*, the drinks are on you**!
_________________________________________

{user:Name}, we all need a little rest and relaxation every now and then. An escape from the day-to-day drudgery and stresses of modern life, for which there are no clear origins or any persons or corporations to blame.
That's why the Binsk Corporation is excited to announce its partnership with several of the finest bars, nightclubs, restaurants, and one kebab house, to provide its acclaimed line of Fuck Toys for patrons to enjoy while they drink, dance, dine, and doner their night away!

What's more, new and existing Binsk Loyalty Card holders will receive exclusive access to an innovative new BinskPass, granting them any free drink of choice (limit 1 per customer per day), and an additional free drink with every 10th purchase, with additional rewards to be unlocked (and planned and implemented) in the future!
Customers can also earn a round of drinks for their entire table, for free, anytime they make their Toy cum (no limit per customer per day)!

Plus, as a valued member of our Community Fuck Toy Program, you'll receive access to an extra-special FuckToyPass, earning you reward points for every patron serviced, which can and will be exchanged for exciting new toys for you to enjoy outside of opening hours. With higher levels unlocking higher vibration strengths, and full pass completion unlocking the chance to advance up to one (1) place in the limb waitlist, we're certain you'll be eager to get grinding!

We can't wait to share this unique bar/nightclub/restaurant/kebab experience with all the bar/nightclub/restaurant/kebab fans at participating locations. Which is why we've already transferred you to your participating location! You should be fully-installed just in time for opening (assuming our technicians don't get too distracted setting you up).

Thank you for your continued commitment to the Binsk Corporation, and its Community Fuck Toy Program. While the world can at times feel cruel and unjust, for vague and entirely unplaceable reasons, our consumers can always rely on products like you to lift their spirits!

* And for the duration of this promotional event.

** Because you are the table.†

† Additionally because any free drinks redeemed through your customers' BinskPasses will come out of your existing Binsk Credits.

🔓 [Art] "Upgraded!" #8

From: support@binsk․limbsys․cum
Subject: Please find attached - a friend!
_______________________________________

Community. Togetherness. Friendship.

These are the three pillars at the heart of Binsk's mission of bringing communities together, in friendship. Now, more than ever, it is vital that we, as a community, come together as a community, and stand together. And friednship.

{user:Name}, you may be aware of certain rumors* circulating online, baselessly asserting that the Binsk Corporation has been mistreating members of its Community Fuck Toy Program by "denying them any chance to contact friends or family for months, or even years, without a word of warning."
Obviously, nothing could be further from the truth, given our three foundational tenets above (community, togetherness, friendshop) -- and to prove it, Binsk Limbsys is excited to announce the new Binsk Buddy Initiative!

The Binsk Buddy Initiative (BBI) will provide you with an optically optimal number of hours each week** to spend together with your BFF (Binsk Fastened Friend). Chosen by our advanced algorithm based on your recorded personality profiles, interests, and above all, limb-port model and configuration, you and your BFF will be the perfect fit for each other!
And while you may be physically incapable of reaching out and touching your BFF in any meaningful way, our patented Friend Fastener Force Feedback feature will ensure you'll always be able to feel each other trying!

We understand that some detractors may still feel inadequately placated by this initiative, instead getting caught up on minor details like "what about the Fuck Toy's preexisting friends and family who still wish to see them?" To which the Binsk Corporation magnanimously responds: a new livestream section has been added to the Binsk Limbsys homepage, where you can watch all your favorite BBI participants, live and on-demand, for free***!

Binsk Limbsys: Bringing people Together. 
Through Community. 
And Friendchip.

*If you are a member of the Community Fuck Toy Program, you may not be aware of these rumors. If you have made yourself aware of these rumors without prior authorization, please report to your nearest handler for disciplinary action.

**Please note that you are not exempt from active use during these hours, but don't worry: our exciting 2-for-1 deal means our customers can enjoy the Binsk Buddy Initiative just as much as you!

***With ads.