As a submissive it’s ok to say no…

Don’t ever think for a moment that as a submissive you cannot object to something your Dominant says, requests, commands or orders you to do.

Or instead of objecting, if you feel uncomfortable, feel slighted, simply don’t feel like doing said request or command, or cannot connect to the task at that moment, just to flatly choose to say no.

It is your right to choose yes or no.

Do so with a valid explanation, communicating with your Dominant as a sign of respect for them, and said Dominant, once a reason is given, should also respect your choice to say no.

And it’s the Dominants right to accept and respect that choice, not to coerce another outcome.

Being submissive does not mean you must obey everything another tells you to do, just because they call themselves Dominant.

Identifying as a submissive does not mean relinquishing your autonomy or your right to consent.

It's vital to understand that consent is at the core of all interactions within the dynamics of a BDSM relationship.

You choose to complete a task, or follow a rule, order or command, because you want to, feel comfortable to and honour your Dominant enough to complete the task, not because you are blindly obligated to.

However you are always entitled to express your discomfort, negotiate the terms, and set boundaries.

This ensures that the relationship remains safe, sane, and consensual, reflecting a deep mutual respect and understanding between partners.

It's vitally important to realise that being submissive involves a significant degree of trust and communication.

It's not merely about following orders, but about actively choosing to submit within agreed boundaries, within your choice of limits and with something that complies with your set standards.

A healthy D/s relationship empowers the submissive just as much as it does the Dominant.

Both parties have roles that are vital, respected, and consensually maintained.

Saying 'no' is not just a right, but an integral part of maintaining the health and integrity of the relationship.

Being submissive does not mean being a doormat.

No…means…no…

#nomeansno #yourchoice #awareness #respect #acceptance #trust #understanding #dynamics #kinkeducation

Navigating the deafening silence of lost love…

What hurts more than the confusion that comes with losing the love of someone that was close, is the realisation that their absence fills your days with a silence that is louder than any words spoken between you. This silence lingers in the air, heavy and unyielding, settling into every corner of your life like the layers of dust in an abandoned house.

Love doesn’t cease. Your ability to no longer accept toxic treatment from the one you love supersedes the love itself and guides you through a painful journey of self discovery that allows you to understand the importance of self respect, accountability of others and the setting of personal boundaries and limits that you will fall on your sword for.

It doesn’t make it easy however. It’s not just their voice you miss, but the whole dance of shared experiences, laughter that once echoed through the rooms, debates that sparked in the twilight hours, and quiet confessions whispered in the dark. The future you imagined together slowly fades, becoming a ghost of what might have been, haunting you with memories that play on an endless loop, each replay a reminder of the void they left behind.

As days turn into weeks, and weeks stretch into months, the initial shock of their departure from your shared world transforms into a dull ache, a constant reminder that nudges at you in the middle of mundane moments. You find yourself pausing by the window, tracing the path they might have walked back to you, if things were different. The coffee tastes blander, the sunsets appear less vibrant, and laughter around you seems a touch too loud, too foreign.

This loss reshapes the world around you in subtle, cruel ways. Friends hesitate to mention their name, unsure of the ground they tread upon. Social gatherings feel like navigating a minefield, each step measured, each smile forced. You start to prefer the solace of your own company, finding a bitter comfort in the solitude that does not ask you to pretend, to smile, to engage.

Gradually, you begin to piece together your days with new routines, ones that do not include them but somehow every small achievement, every step forward, feels tinged with guilt. Should you really be moving on? Does healing betray the love you once shared? These questions swirl through your mind, blurring with thoughts of what could have been, what should have been.

And yet, life insists on continuing. Seasons change, bringing with them new challenges and unexpected joys. The sharpness of your grief dulls, edged away by the slow, steady rhythm of daily life. You learn that moving on doesn’t mean forgetting, but rather learning to live with the loss, allowing it to become a part of who you are now. This realisation doesn’t come as an epiphany, but as a slow acceptance, whispered by the part of you that still, despite everything, chooses to find joy in the sunrise, to see beauty in the world left to you.

AP

I often get asked by people which of my books should be read first. The answer depends on if you are after educational material or erotica. Any of the below pictured series of books is a good place to start. If just looking for one or two, I would suggest either starting at Volume 1 of The Kink Education Series of books, or Volume 1 of the BDSM Guidebook Series. For erotica, you can try either of the two erotic books listed in the montage below. Or if you enjoy a diverse selection of reads, try all of the below pictured. Hope you enjoy.

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She is a paradox of simplicity and complexity to those that don’t understand the nature of a strong woman that is beautifully submissive. It's not about weakness. As an independent, self-sufficient human with a profound craving for love, care and human connection, she understands that being able to count on another as much as herself strengthens her journey through life…