During a sermon, the best seats are always in the back rows of the hall.

Although it is entirely normal, and even endorsed by many Herquisitors, to praise and worship our Joyful Allmother and Her Gorgeous Body, it is the Thighlanders who are Her most devoted children, the builders of the righteous Thighological society. They deify Her Hips for the fertile pastures and food they bring forth, and Her Thighs for the clean waters and beautiful weather they bear.

And it is remarkable, as compared to other societies, the Thighlanders scarcely become the Envious, which is attributed to their deep faith in the Bottom. They say that evil thoughts recede before the enchanting visions of the Thighs, and with each sermon these visions become warmer and more delight. When the faithful gather to chant the Rites of Thighs, to offer prayer to Her fertile Hips, to participate in the anointing of one another’s Glutes with oil, or to express the achieved beauty of their own rears, they feel nothing but Love and spiritual propinquity, for the Bottom is the very embodiment of perfection, and by contemplating the Bottom, you too are brought closer to perfection.

It is not strictly forbidden to enjoy other body portions, but the Thighs are holy and sit above all else. Alas, some devotees live ashamed that they are beings made of something more than just Hips and Thighs, and wear garments deliberately to conceal all the forms and contours of their bodies but the Bottom.

The Empire allows general freedom of pursuits and tolerance of speech… as long as you adhere to the True Faith. As a citizen, or a long-staying resident, you are not just encouraged but required to respect the Thighology, which includes attending Femoral Sermons inside Thigh Chapels at least twice a week, praying sincerely to the holy Bottom every day, reporting any suspicious beliefs and activities that may devalue the divine Bottom or elevate other body portions above them, and observing a spiritual fast during which you must not gaze at or enjoy any part of the body other than the Bottom.

There are three core denominations within the Church of Thighs, each worshiping the Bottom through distinct rituals and understanding of the Faith. The Gluteusians are zealous and diligent devotees of the buttocks, who will never deny others their face for the sacred sitting. The Lappians are selfless and altruistic people, who can offer you a quiet nap on their lap after a hard day's work. And the monks of Penetralis, who help the faithful rejoice and repent through the blessed ritual of the thigh-choking; they are the major practitioners of the Thighwondo – a martial art and combat sport, where the primarily techniques and goal is to secure an opponent in a thigh-chock-hold without direct use of the arms against each other (only for movement around the ring or for pounce attacks). Beside these, there are many minor denominations, such as the Thicctists, who worship only the thickest and most voluptuous bottoms, or the Church of the Rod – a futale-only gathering that honor the most bulging part of the Bottom through extracting and drinking each other’s “Elixir” all day long.

Although the Empire is united and the Church of Thighs promotes oneness, some conflicts arise between these denominations based on their beliefs about how and why the Bottom is divine, but in the end, all these conflicts end in the Horny Attics.

***

 Majority of the Thigh Clergy are, as one might expect, Ardem, as only their diligent kin not only desire to comprehend every range of love but also capable of genuinely physically exercising it towards others all day long without tiring. And, of course, because their Aspect is the Matriarch of the Church of Thigh. However, some sistren, like the Mawls, Purscesses, or Shunai, are just as devoted or sociable to join convents.

Those who enter the Thighological convent must be able to love all Bottoms – every sistren of every tribe, woman or futan, to love them all equally and without discrimination, because they take a vow to dedicate their lives to religious service for the sake of the community, not for personal love of the Bottoms. And in the likeness of the Ardemial Garappes, members of the convent are formally married to each other, but they also vow to be Thigh-partners for the entire congregation they oversee.

To effectively assist believers in preserving their faith, all provinces of the Empire are divided into thousands parishes, each provided with its own Monastery, where the Pastora and her convent aid the local congregation and passing visitors in their pursuit for love of the Bottom: a triangular site with a lustruous garden at the center surrounded by a complex of three Tetrahedron structures, each varying in the nature of the spiritual practices conducted within them.

First of all, the Thigh Chappel. The house where the Thighological convent resides, and the pelvic bones of saints and other relics are preserved. Sermons and services dedicated to the Bottom are regularly held here; inside, the faithful flock deify the Hips and Thighs of Meora, praising Her Gorgeous perfection and expressing gratitude to these fertile lands for the rich harvests and prosperity, beloving their own physiques and appreciating those of their neighbors, anointing each other’s Bottoms with oil, vowing everlasting diligence, devotion and sincerity – to oneselves, to the congregation, to the convent, to Meora, and to Her Light. Its doors are always open, and the convent can always provide something as simple as a hearty hug and a good nap on the lap for the weary, or a sound spanking for those seeking repentance.

The second structure is a house of amusement and recreation outside of sermon hours: at the Pastora’s discretion it could be a confectionery, a maid cafe, or a theater – regardless, all activities promote beloving of the Thighs. But most importantly, these spaces host public art exibition stages, where faithfull can showcase and express achieved aesthetics of their Bottoms – because body is art.

The third structure serves as a penitential grounds for the punishment of Thighological crimes, and therefore the office of the Parish Watch, but more often than not it also houses the Libidant Guild.