Plans for 2026, Current Issues

First off: don't worry I am not giving up boob art entirely or anything. I want to continue giving patreon/subscribe star what they signed up for.

At this point I think it is functionally impossible to not have noticed how bad I have crashed out. Generally I explain things in very vague ways (partially because I am uncomfortable sharing personal information, and partially because I am constantly worried that being negative will have an impact on my audience). 

This least year (2025) is by far the worst I have had in a long time and my lowest points have been concerningly low. This has been a steady decline for at least ten years and I always try to be clear that my problems are by my own making and I do not blame other people for them: but they have snowballed.

Keep in mind I have been making art online since 2000: Im an old. For a long time I have tried to work on art while also having day jobs, but this combined with not really having any opportunity for material resources and my general inability to integrate into communities means I had to be self taught and I am not at all naturally gifted. My main interest and focus was: I wanted to tell stories; and I wanted to make games.

Shadowlark Symphony actually started as a tabletop game I made for my friends to play in highschool and the comic story for Shadowlark was actually the backstory for that setting. I always wanted to make the comic and the tabletop game and release them. In truth I wanted to make video games - but that just wasn't something I had any opportunities for and by the time the tools became accessible, my time and lack of resources became a problem. I resigned myself to just not being able to make my dumb little games, and that the only creative work I would be able to make money off of was commissions, and mainly drawing fetish art. Luckily, I thought fetish art was cute and fun. I even got to work storytelling into it.

But as things crumbled around me, as I needed to rely on commissions and patreon to survive because I was loosing the ability to find employment (and I certainly wasn't going to get a career in art or games), I developed some health conditions and my untreated depression got way worse. Until I just finally broke down entirely.

I'm in a really bad place mentally and financially, and not working on patreon or commissions is just going to make that substantially worse. But also, between my health and oncoming years: I'm just out of time. I want to make my dumb amateur projects. I want to leave something behind not just survive. I'll never be successful enough to buy a house or even have widespread respect, and that's fine. But I want to make the thing I wanted to make since I was a kid. 

So I'm going to do that. The projects are going to be lame and unskilled. I'm going to fuck around with different programs and documents and make trash. Maybe I will need to make a different place to post it so the boobs don't scare off people that might be interested. My hope is that this will give me some mental breathing space to make the things people will actually pay for, Ill be able to eat and not be homeless. But I need to do this for my own sake.

To Repeat: I am NOT going to stop posting boob stuff. Don't worry.