November is a Month

And that means time for Goth Barria to get finished. I think I can start picking my pace up a little again at this point. Not much else to say at this point, I'm just slowly getting back into things. 

September is a Month

Going to be sticking to simple commissions and working on my prototypes and scripts. I still want to get something going for the end of the year to share with everyone, and dealing with the burnout has actually gone really well (more about that in the personal update section). Keeping the commission work light has also been helping me work on areas I want to improve, though I am going to need to get back to mechanical design and backgrounds at some point. But I do feel like I am actually earning exp again some: tinkering with style, coloring, shapes, and structure etc.

This month I have a couple of larger things for patreon I want to do; and it's going to continue to be that I let myself work on personal projects that interest me even if it's not always boobs. Boobs good, but I need to be able to work on other things that interest me also.

So.

I've been on medication for a little over a month and a half now after my massive mental breakdown. Which came a bit after a medical scare with my heart. So I am on medication for heart, and also one for my brain now. I had a whole long explanation of the effects I kind of plotted out in my head while I was on my walk this morning, and while I may still explain the exact effects that this has had- the big thing is that I have not had to deal with the constant anxiety attacks and depression spirals. The "worst" thing was that I had drowsiness that I had to adapt to, and while it made me really sleepy for a couple weeks early on, I have adjusted to it and at worst sometimes Im just sluggish when I wake up. But I am also actually sleeping 8 hours a night instead of my usual 3-5. Basically, I am doing a lot better, and its letting me work and enjoy things again. Like I said, I might go into detail some other time or in some other place but the important notes here are "Icy is on medication to make them not a complete wreck all the time and it seems to be working pretty well".

August is a Month
Keeping commissions to simple sketch and color illustrations (like the stuff I have been posting) for a while and being pretty limited on my worklist is keeping the stress level down. I want to post some documents this month on world building and systems for the game projects at some time this month but I would prefer to have them in something approaching a coherent state before I do. The RPG maker "we have final fantasy 1 at home" project hit a road block of "I wanted to draw a funny robot wizard instead this month".

July is a Month

I made the kind of rambly post already on the subject to let everyone know what to expect ahead of time: but just to restate - it's going to be commissions and personal projects for a while. I may or may not post much or any boob stuff based purely on what gets commissioned or what I feel like drawing. A lot of my focus will be on developing skills and making progress on things like tabletop games and shadowlark comics. Expect stupid RPG maker games, lots of character designs, and pages of art practice.

I'm posting this a couple days before the end of the month and before my art dump so you have time to cancel your subscription before the next month starts.

I'd like permission and understanding that the next three months I'm going to do extremely simplified commissions and personal projects only. I haven't actually made any progress on Patreon BE and Boobwall comics and pinups because I have been basically driving myself into dust with burnout and frustration so those aren't getting done anyways.

Basically for three months I want to work on:

There basically will be very little fetish content unless it's from a commission. This is kind of just the same as what my burnout has led to already but the difference being. No obligation to beat myself up over and no guilt making me spiral further and further down into this self destructive cycle of feeling shitty about myself.

Honestly nothing will change much simply because of how little I have gotten done due to depression. But if you are only here for tiddy and nothing else - maybe there will be more tiddy coming, but I won't be obligated to it.

After this year I will see where I am mentally and financially and if that means going back to Private Island, Village Secret, and Too Many Cooks.

I don't know if this change in mission statement will help. But nothing else is working. But I need to try something.