Tagging

I realized I’ve become pretty bad at tagging because, let’s be honest, it has more often than not been used to weaponize kink art in a way that makes it more unsafe for the creator to be accurate.  

If I tag something with noncon because I want to attract people with noncon kinks, I’m also going to risk flagging myself to people who think having this kink makes you evil, and therefore open myself up to harassment more directly.

That’s not how it’s supposed to work! No one benefits from this system as it stands. Tagging leads to harassment and reporting, so a lot of us stopped tagging, which means people with legitimate triggers and squicks are left stranded, and people who are actively seeking out their kinks have to go dumpster diving to find what they like. 

Mind you, I have complicated feelings about tags aside from this. So often, I see people who are essentially self-censoring via tags because they see noncon and make assumptions about how it’ll be written and handled and eroticized. But there’s a thousand ways to write noncon. And a lot of people’s most vicious triggers come from completely innocuous shit, like a specific scent, or a brand of cereal, or a really popular white boy indie band. 

Tagging culture feels busted to me in ways I don’t know how to fix. Ultimately, I wish more people felt comfortable with the idea that it’s never a waste to just try a story and then put it down if it doesn’t work for you. There’s countless stories I’ve never finished because something wasn’t quite clicking, but that doesn’t mean my time with it was poorly spent. That doesn’t mean it shouldn’t exist. I don’t even dislike the stories that have legitimately triggered me! I just put them down until they stop feeling so sharp.

I feel like the expectation is to 100% complete everything or else it was bad. But that’s hardly fair. We all have lives to live. I think it’s good to try things and come to a completely personal decision that it wasn’t for you without taking it out on the person who made it, or writing off the entire experience. Be more generous, both with your time and your expectations. Art is so personal and subjective to begin with. It’s pretty wild that one person can have like 20 separate stories that they love every inch of. 

Be adventurous. Maybe your relationship with that kink has changed. Maybe this person is going to write it in a way you finally understand. Maybe that artist drew an angle that is going to open up your brain. Art isn’t designed to hurt you. Some of it will, because we’re human, but that’s okay too. You’re allowed to handle your own pain with care, just don’t make it a stranger’s responsibility. 

There could be so much for you in this pie that has one ingredient you don’t usually like.