Bouncing Back Part 1

“Alright…” Her tired voice echoed in my head. She had helped carry or walk me up to my door. “Look, we got you home, girly.” She was so good about taking care of me, always being there. Honestly, why she stayed around was beyond me. I fumbled around with my keys, not wanting to take my arm off of her shoulder, but at the same time I couldn’t figure out which of the four swirling keys I was looking at was the real one. 
 
 “I can’t pick,” I slurred out, holding the set of keys up to my face, squinting at all of them as if they would stop spinning if I squinted hard enough. “Jus… leave me here. That’s where everyone else leaves me.” I dropped my keys as I pointed behind me; her eyes followed my arm toward the trash can. Truth be told, the day has probably been the worst I have ever had. When I got to my job, the contractor decided to cancel the project, so unceremoniously let go. Then I didn’t feel safe driving all the way home, deciding to instead rest at my boyfriend's place. We were at the point of having keys to each other's places; looking back, it was a dumb idea. I walked right into the living room, dropped the key and walked out, the sound of my ex-boyfriend falling to the ground as he sputtered an apology. My day was literally the worst it could be. 
 
 “Sandy, don’t say that, you’ll be…” She stopped talking, which caught my attention even in my drunk state. I would never admit it to her, but she had such a pretty voice. My head traced the natural curves of her body, my own artificial curves larger and perkier thanks to modern science, but something about her curves, I could feel a twitch in my tights before my vision went to her eyes, the deep brown that she hated, was something I loved. Of course, again, I would never tell her that part. I turned my head, following her line of sight to a letter on my door. I had to pull all the sober brain cells I had left to read the paper posted on my door.

“Emergency Closure, Dangerous Sources of Asbestos found on property.”
 
 The words sank into my head. I could tell she was saying something to me, but all I could hear was the trombone sound of parents talking in ‘Charlie Brown’ cartoons. I went silent, yet I didn’t shed a single tear. I hadn’t cried all day. I felt her start to rub my back, trying to comfort me, and all I could muster was a chuckle. It was soft at first, then louder. At a certain point, I passed from simple laughter to the manic laughter of a mad scientist in old movies. She just stood there with me, as I laughed into the darkness, letting out all my anger in my own way. At some point, I stopped laughing and started to let the world weigh me down, literally. I had started falling, and I could hear her struggling to hold me up. 

“Sandy, no, you can’t sleep here, not outside or inside your building.” She said, I could tell she was getting tired of me, I tried not to care, I didn’t want to drag her down with me either. 

“But m-my stuff?” I was still slurring my words, the alcohol in my system making it hard to speak. 
 
 “That’s a problem for… probably two days from now, Sandy, you need to come back home with me,” She said, hefting me back to my feet, half-dragging me away from my condemned home. 

“Yoush… wanna take me home, ‘ee Mommi,” She always said. I was more Latina when I drank tequila, and it was starting to show. I mustered up the strength to look her dead in the eyes. The few brain cells that weren’t soaked in alcohol screamed at me to not speak, while the others cheered me on. I turned to face her, my half-lidded green-blue eyes locking with her brown ones. With a deep breath, I said, “Like for real, Heidi, I would so be your little if you were a Mommy.” With a moment of silence, I finally lifted myself off Heidi’s shoulder, spinning on my heel before stumbling back toward her car, my slurring voice calling out behind me, “Yoush comin’ or wha?”
 
 Heidi stood in the light of my former home, confused for a moment, before looking right at the notice still hanging from the door, “Did she say she’d be my little? Was… I right?” The sound of me tumbling into the bumper of Heidi’s car snapped her attention back to me, as she jogged over, helping me stand up, and then back into her car. As I landed in the back seat of her car, the world went dark. The last feeling I had was Heidi buckling me in.

—

As the early morning light filtered through, breaking through the shade, hitting my eyelids, the pain of overindulgence filled my whole being. I let out a groan, forgetting the final events of the night, and I rolled away from the sunlight, my face landing directly into a wonderfully warm and pleasantly squishy pillow. My arms lifted slowly, wrapping around the pillow. I didn’t remember buying a body pillow; they were always too small for me, but this one was like I could slide right into it. The feeling was almost like putting my arms around my boyfriend, but softer. I couldn’t really tell if I was moving or maybe the pillow was, but some part of it shifted, my body relaxed from head to toe, my jaw dropping open just the slightest bit. Something familiar but foreign, instinct took over, as I started to suck. Some part of me was rousing while another was imagining the water gatorade Heidi had given to me the night before.
 
 Heidi was so great to come get me from the bar, I was too drunk to drive home. I could remember that much. I felt the pillow slowly moving again, the part of my brain that was awake reminded me that pillows don’t move on their own, my eyes snapped open, the instant that information made it to the still sleeping part of my brain. With a pop, I pulled back, images from last night filtering back to me.

“Sweetie, if you’re hungry, you gotta keep going,” Heidi mumbled in her sleep, as her own sleeping body pulled me back in close. “Baby girls need their milk.” Her words came out as an understandable moan. By this point, I was wide awake, trying and failing to pull away from my friend. I hadn’t realized our difference in strength until right now, as with steady force, Heidi was able to pull me back in, my dumbfounded mouth, still hanging open, landing squarely over her nipple. I kept trying to move away, but at the same time, Heidi closed her arms around me, wrapping me up in a gentle hug, the pressure slowly erasing the anxiety within me. Once again, instinct took over, and I started sucking away. In her sleep, Heidi started letting out soft moans. I could imagine her biting her lip, trying to keep from being too loud, to not wake me up. 
 
 “Right there, little bit, Mommy is so proud of you.” I don’t know what it was about those words, but in that moment, as Heidi moaned them out, I closed my eyes and stopped resisting. I hadn’t been a great adult yesterday; I’m sure most people wouldn’t be proud of me the following day, Heidi most of all. I lost track of time, as I kept sucking away. At one point, I felt Heidi shifting my head, which I allowed. I started sucking her other breast, her moans continuing, until at some point, I felt Heidi’s arm moving, her finger lifting my chin, my lips separating from her nipple with a gentle pop, as my vision left her wondrous mountains and landed in her deep brown eyes. “How did my baby girl sleep?” Her words flitted into my ears, gentle and welcoming as a familiar song, reality fuzzy after the melodic sound of another woman moaning in pleasure for so long. 
 
 Her slowly growing smile slammed reality back into me, as I skittered back, stuttering, “Wh-wait n-no, I-i-it, it, cause I-i’m drunk? B-bu…” My voice hoarse and raspy as I tried explaining what had happened, the pain in my head from the hangover slowly pushing down my ability to function, as I let myself tilt back over, landing on my side, only able to watch as Heidi slowly broke out into a smiling laugh, one hand over her mouth, the other holding her breasts. It was as if I was watching a picture come to life, one I had imagined time and time again, only in this moment, it felt as if I was in a nightmare.

“Don’t worry Sandy,” Heidi said, sliding out of bed, taking a moment to let the bed fall off her body. She easily stood at six feet seven inches tall, even without her normal power heels. Her body was long and curvaceous, with a slim waist and wide hips, as she took a few steps, my eyes locked onto her well-toned butt. I had always been a little jealous of Heidi, but she earned the body she had, going to the gym every other day, working out to ensure her body was the form of the goddess she was. I tried my best, but transitioning never really gives you the body you dream of. The largest benefit of my transition had been the incredible three inches I shrank due to my hormone replacement therapy. I wasn't short by any means, now standing at a slightly impressive five feet 8 inches, but that still left me almost a full foot shorter than Heidi. 
 
 Compared to her natural curves, my implants were about the same size, though I had lost weight over the years, becoming healthier thanks to choosing to be happy rather than live life as someone I wasn’t. In the end, even as I was staring at a vision of feminine beauty, I wondered if yesterday was my reward for choosing my own happiness instead of the happiness of others around me. While I had been lost in my thoughts, Heidi had vanished into her bathroom, the sound of the shower bringing me back. I blushed as the images of what we had been doing were fresh in my head, I couldn’t help but mumble to myself, “Why did she call herself Mommy…?”