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Journal Entry #13

Hey diary,

Guess what? I finally landed a lead role! However, it’s just a small theater play being put on by our class, so it really doesn’t mean anything. I’ll be playing Juliet in our school's production of Romeo and Juliet! I should be over the moon, right? But truth be told, I'm feeling more conflicted than ever.

First off, let's talk about Romeo. Ugh, he's like the epitome of everything I can't stand. He struts around like he owns the place, flashing his fancy clothes and flashing his flirty smiles at every girl he sees. Plus, he's always bragging about his family's wealth and how he's, like, the king of the school. The other girls are constantly hitting on him because his father is a major film producer. It makes my skin crawl just thinking about working with him.

And then there's the nagging thought that maybe I only got the part because Mr. Dreamboat seems to like me. He’s continued to show an interest in me. It’s subtle. A look here, a touch there… but I really do think he’s leaving me signals. Giving me this production… was it because of my own skill, or because he’s looking for an excuse to get closer to me? Does he see potential in me, or is he just playing me?

But the real kicker is knowing that Lily got a lesser part in the play. She wasn’t bitter about it at all. She didn’t seem to mind at all. But all I can think about is how she also landed a real acting gig outside of school, while I'm stuck playing make-believe on stage. It's like a punch in the gut, diary. Why do I have to feel jealous over the one friend I have? Am I a bad person?

But hey, I'm trying to stay positive. Maybe this role will open doors for me, lead to bigger and better opportunities. I just have to focus on giving the best performance I can, even if it means pretending to be in love with Romeo.

Here's hoping for a Shakespearean miracle,

Wawchan

Journal

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Whatsawhizzer

Apr 13, 2024 08:52 pm

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Journal Entry #12

Hey Diary,

Sorry I haven't written in a while. School's been, like, super intense lately, and I've been buried under a mountain of textbooks and assignments. But I'm back now, ready to spill all the tea!

Lily and I have been hanging out a ton lately, which has been, like, the highlight of my life. She's, like, my partner in crime, you know? We've been doing all sorts of fun stuff together, from binge-watching cheesy rom-coms to experimenting with crazy new hairstyles. It's been, like, the best time ever!

But despite all the fun we've been having, there's this nagging feeling in the back of my mind whenever I'm with Lily. Like, I can't shake the thought that maybe she's keeping things from me. That’s when, today, she dropped a bombshell on me. She got a part in this commercial audition, and I couldn't help feeling a twinge of jealousy.

I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm totally happy for her and everything. But it's hard not to compare myself to her and wonder why I haven't gotten any gigs yet. And then I started thinking, like, did she keep this audition a secret from me on purpose? I didn’t even hear about it until she already had the part. Is our friendship not as tight as I thought?

Ugh, I know it's silly to get all worked up over this stuff, but emotions are weird. One minute, you're besties with someone, and the next, you're questioning everything. I just hope I'm not overreacting and that Lily didn't mean to make me feel left out.

Anyway, I'll try to squash these jealous vibes and be the supportive friend she needs. After all, that's what friendship's all about, right?

Til next time, diary!

Wawchan

Journal

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Whatsawhizzer

Mar 26, 2024 05:41 am

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Journal Entry #11

Dear Diary,

I find myself standing at the crossroads of curiosity and uncertainty. It's like I've stumbled into a maze of mixed signals, and I'm not quite sure which path to follow.

Here's the scoop—Mr. Dreamboat, you remember, my acting teacher, might be flirting with me. Yes, Diary, Mr. Dreamboat, the charming and captivating presence who lights up the classroom with his passion for the craft.

It started with those little moments, those lingering gazes and subtle touches that seemed to carry a hint of something more. And today, during our one-on-one feedback session, he leaned in a little closer than necessary, his eyes sparkling with warmth and intensity. His hand rested on my knee as he spoke softly in my ear.

I had to admit, that I felt tingly all over. I found myself drawn to him, Diary, like a moth to a flame. There's something magnetic about his presence, something that stirs a fire within me. And as much as I try to brush it off as mere imagination, a part of me can't help but wonder if there's something deeper brewing beneath the surface.

I know, I know, he's my teacher, and some boundaries shouldn't be crossed. But the heart wants what it wants, Diary, and mine seems to be whispering his name in hushed tones.

Fluffington (my bed) feels like a sanctuary tonight, as I lay here pondering the twists and turns of fate. I don't know what I should do. What would it be like if Mr. Dreamboat joined me on Fluffington (my bed). Ahhh! Diary! I’m so naughty!

Wawchan

Journal

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Whatsawhizzer

Mar 19, 2024 12:52 am

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Journal Entry #10

Dear Diary,

Today feels like I'm standing on a tightrope, trying to balance between conflicting emotions while keeping my focus on the task at hand. It's like walking through a fog, where everything feels hazy and uncertain.

I can't shake the memory of that kiss with Lily during the audition. It replays in my mind like a broken record, leaving me feeling both exhilarated and confused. Part of me wonders if it was just acting, if it meant nothing beyond the role we were playing. But another part of me can't deny the spark I felt in that moment, the way my heart skipped a beat as our lips met.

But life doesn't pause for my inner turmoil. There's a big project in school that demands my attention, and I can't afford to let my personal feelings cloud my focus. So, I bury the confusion deep down inside, like burying a treasure chest in the sand, hoping it won't resurface until I'm ready to confront it.

I throw myself into the project with determination, pouring over scripts, practicing scenes, and collaborating with my classmates. The hustle and bustle of school life provide a temporary distraction from the storm raging within me.

Fluffington (my bed) feels like a refuge at the end of the day, a place where I can retreat from the chaos of the world and try to make sense of my jumbled thoughts. But even as I lay my head on the pillow, sleep eludes me, and I find myself drifting in a sea of uncertainty.

Tomorrow is a new day, and I can only hope that clarity will come with the dawn. For now, I'll focus on the project at hand, pushing aside the questions that linger in the shadows of my mind.

Feeling conflicted but determined,

Wawchan

Journal

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Whatsawhizzer

Mar 16, 2024 12:17 am

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Journal Entry #8

Dear Diary,

I don't even know where to begin. Tonight was supposed to be about letting loose, dancing, and forgetting about all the stresses of acting school. But instead, it turned into a nightmare I never imagined

Lily convinced me to go to the club with her, promising a night of fun and excitement. And at first, it was just that. We danced, laughed, and for a moment, I forgot about all my worries. But then, everything changed.

Lily introduced me to this director she knew, and at first, I was excited. I thought maybe this was my chance, my big break. But as we talked, his comments took a turn that made my skin crawl. He started making inappropriate remarks, insinuating that if I wanted to make it in the industry, I'd have to do more than just act

I was horrified, Diary. It felt like the ground was crumbling beneath me. And to make matters worse, Lily, my friend, didn't seem fazed by any of it. She just brushed it off, like it was no big deal, like it was just the way things are.

She even whispered to me, "This is how the business works, Wawchan. If you want to get ahead, you might have to give head." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Is this really what it takes to succeed in this world? Sacrificing my dignity and self-respect?

I felt sick to my stomach, Diary. I excused myself and rushed out of the club, tears streaming down my face. The city streets felt cold and unforgiving, a stark contrast to the warmth of friendship I thought I had found in Lily.

Now, I'm sitting in my apartment, feeling lost and broken. I thought pursuing my dreams would be about talent and hard work, not compromising my values and integrity. I don't know what to do, Diary. I'm scared and confused, and I feel like I'm standing at a crossroads with no clear path ahead.

Fluffington (my bed) feels like the only safe haven right now. I wish I could make sense of everything, but right now, all I can do is cry and wonder where I went wrong.

Feeling shattered and betrayed,

Wawchan

Journal

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Whatsawhizzer

Mar 14, 2024 09:00 pm

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Journal Entry #7

Dear Diary,

I’ve been really conflicted. I'm tangled up in a web of excitement and worry. So, get this – there's this casting call posted on the bulletin board at school, and my heart did this little happy dance when I saw it. It's like a golden ticket to my dreams, Diary!

But, of course, with every spark of excitement comes the storm of doubt. The casting call seems like this magical opportunity, but what if I'm not good enough? What if I mess up and ruin my chance to shine in the spotlight? It's like a tornado of insecurities swirling in my head.

And here's the twist, Diary – Lily is also going for the same casting! I found out when we were chatting after class, and she was all like, "Wawchan, we should totally audition together! It'll be so much fun!" I smiled and agreed, but deep down, I felt this knot of worry forming in my stomach.

What if we end up competing against each other? What if one of us gets the role and the other doesn't? I want to support Lily, and I don't want our friendship to turn into some dramatic competition. She's become my first friend in this big city, and I don't want to risk that for a role.

I feel torn, Diary. On one hand, this casting call is a dream come true, a chance to prove myself as an actress. On the other hand, I'm afraid of the potential strain it might put on my friendship with Lily. It's like standing at a crossroads, unsure which path to take.

Fluffington (my bed) feels like a comforting confidante right now. I wish I had a crystal ball to see how things will unfold. Maybe I'll muster the courage to talk to Lily about my fears and find a way for us to support each other without letting this casting come between us.

Hoping for a smooth casting and a stronger friendship,

Wawchan

Journal

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