Loli Ultimecia.
She kan't korrektly kalkulate the kaliber of karrot kake.

The public post got two likes! Which means the $1 alts are now public, as well!

"Gurdy's Prices".
In FF12, Gurdy changes her prices seemingly at random over the course of the game, and will sometimes refuse service to particular individuals. What is she hiding? Also, the idea of moogles not liking their pom-poms touched comes from Kingdom Hearts, but I've always thought the reason why is the same reason why Lilties from Crystal Chronicles don't like having their scalps petted: they're erogenous zones.

Textless and squirting variants will be made public if this post gets two LC's.