Chapter 1: Endings and Beginnings

The pull and push of what can only be described as reality and death started affecting her being, no, her body, somehow she realized that was gone, but feelings of something trying to move her essences was something she grasped onto, the feeling of whatever these otherworldly forces felt like thread, no they were thicker, like rope. There were only three, one warm and comforting, she could tell that was some kind of ending, where those who were done living flowed. Another felt cold, distant, but not bitter, the best she could understand that rope to be was simply an end, nothing beyond it, because following that rope would lead to an eternity of following the rope into the endless void. The last one, the last one had a feeling of familiarity and newness, the same feeling as when you go home but the city had added in more buildings and expanded slightly, she feel that this one didn’t exactly pull her in, nor did it push her away, like her in this moment, it was simply existing in non-existence. 

She wasn’t finished, she wanted to live the life she was living, aiming to have a calm day here and there, be with the animals that created a peace of mind in her heart and soul, if any path could lead her to that, the third one seemed most likely. The choice was made even before she realized it herself, like her essence didn’t need confirmation from a brain that didn’t exist anymore; the choice was instinctive and final, the feeling of the space around her moving at a slow, consistent pace before quickly speeding up. The telltale light at the end of the dark tunnel began to glimmer in the space ahead of her, even if she was now aware of the fact that she didn’t have eyes to see, her essence processed what was happening, and connected it to her experiences. As the light grew brighter and brighter, something strange happened: a voice, disconnected from all things not only around her but even in her memories, echoed out.
 
  “Error, Error,” The voice quickly became disconnected from continuity, and she could only catch parts of it suddenly. “Multiple…” “Soul R-…” “Failed…” “Error…” “Adjustments…” “Failure…” She tried to focus on the voice, the disconnected words, trying to find out what was happening, but between the ever- growing light and the fact that she didn’t have a body to push beyond the limits, there was no way for her to find out what was really going on. The light continued to grow, quickly overpowering all her other senses, before silence, and calm, and a new voice muffled but nearby, one filled with worry, and concern. Then, with reality slowly fluttering back into her field of view, the blurry shapes, the gentle touch and the warmth of another person touching her body, the voice calmly spoke;

“There we go… a beautiful girl, with such pretty eyes.” The voice chuckled warmly as she felt herself being handled with ease and care, slowly swaddled in a towel, soft yet a bit itchy. The young woman’s skin was extremely sensitive all of a sudden, and things were still only beginning to clear up; however, a warm voice that she felt an instant connection to whispered into her ear as she felt herself being held by some unknown being.

“Hello, my little angel… my little Seraphine.” The warm voice seemed to connect to the girl, turned child, no, turned baby. The voice of her mother, a warmth and connection that she had all but forgotten because of her previous choice to seek happiness instead of social acceptance. It felt… nice. 

Prologue: Everything Ends

 Warmth, something so simple that nearly any person who doesn’t experience the cold or extreme heat on a regular basis takes it for granted. In a world of increasingly hot temperatures and stale air, a moment where a cool breeze created by an open window of a moving car, combined with the sunlight trickling in through the windshield, felt relaxing after being dragged around a park by powerful creatures now holding their heads out of that very car’s window. It had taken some time for the driver to train the animals correctly, correcting bad behavior and introducing them to people in a slow, controlled manner so they didn’t scare the life out of people. They weren’t bad animals, by any measure, but they were protective. The two beasts, large dogs, a subtly brindle-patterned mastiff, and a fluffy white furred husky mix had, had a simple life, and before the dynamic change of their owners' relationship, had two people they cared for every day. The training was slow, coming from a desire to move on, the driver, a young transwoman, with brown skin the same color of coffee with a splash of creamer in it, with long black braids, didn’t want to push the dogs to the point of mistrusting all other people. 

 Looking up, the driver locked her green-blue eyes onto the green traffic light, and pressed her foot onto the gas, just as she lifted her other foot off the clutch, the movement practiced and fluid, allowing the car to move forward with ease. She remembered the feeling of the warm air on her arms and chest, just as she could hear the sound of wheels and brakes slamming into each other, the high screech, the smell of rubber burning. Her attention seemed to speed up, or maybe time itself slowed to a standstill. Her eyes were able to move; she could see things for what they were. The massive semi truck was moments from colliding with the car. There was a moment where her mind began to form the images of her life, as if she was preparing to die, as so many others have claimed to happen before a near-death experience. For the young woman, however, she didn’t want to relive the life she wanted to protect her precious animals, the creatures who had kept her from breaking down every night when the strongest thread of security snapped, leaving her alone, as if she were floating alone in a lake. 

 With an unnatural strength and speed, her body moved, in the breath of a moment that her mind had somehow created in her perception of events, the woman turned, her body diving through the two seats, a crack sounding out as she slammed her shoulder through the head rest of the passenger seat as she clutched onto the bodies of the final anchors she had to this world. The final sounds that echoed in the air, glass breaking, metal bending and breaking, then with the final moments her vision remained, she locked eyes with the two beasts, as the image faded into nothingness, the warmth of their bodies lingering before it all went dark.