Vivian and Rugir Part 6

Someone had touched hi.m, Mo.ther Mother, no. not Mother, Mother. was far. away, not dead. but he. was, sh.e had left him. to di.e, had sold. him away, ha.d traded him. She want.ed to be. rid of him. He was. a broken. toy. and she. had sold h.is body in. order. to p.ay off. strangers. to take him. away, to put even. more drugs in. hi.m than she. had. She had wanted. him to be bett.er and there. was no getting. better, the do.ctors had. just m.ade him nothing. instead. A brain. dead lit.t.le. doll to be moved. arou.nd as they. wanted.

A woma.n had. touched him and. he thou.ght that, maybe, he. was ba.ck there, just. back enough. His. throat hu.rt. His eyes. burned. The boy held. him though. and that was good, that was. alright, he did not know. why that was alright. 

They left the ga.rden, the boy carried him. to bed, they ate there. He. was sick, just a little. bit, and the. boy. was proud. of how much he kept. down. He was allowed to cry. as much as. he needed to. H.e was allowed. to whimper when the. boy moved away. from him. and then allowed his. company for lo.nger, to be held. and pet, his. hair finger combed. The boy. took such good. care of him. 

“Oh my Lily, don’t be afraid, I’m here. I’m here. I’m so sorry.” He did not. know what he was apologizing. for. 

He felt th.at he. too should apolo.gize. He clung. to the boy and th.e boy. held him and he f.elt like, maybe, the boy. loved him too. 

There was. a hand on his face, a. thumb under his eye, wiping. over his cheekbone. The boy’s face was. handsome and strong, pale skin, raspberry. lips, a strong jaw, and bright blue. eyes. His hair was cropped. short and. it was almost. black. He w.as s.trong. and lov.ely and he looke.d at. him as. if he was. the more impre.ssive. of the two. 

He wanted. to speak. to him. he wanted. to kiss him. he wanted. this beautiful. boy to. stop looking. so sad. He wanted. to help. him too. 

“You don’t need to speak,” the boy said, “Just relax, just heal, please, I have you.” 

There was a bag in the hall. Vivian sighed, looking at it. He had taken up all of the bags left behind in the garden and put their contents into the refrigerator. He’d had some of the casserole, Marietta was a good cook. But this was not a bag that held food, not food for humans anyway. 

He did not want to interact with the bone but he did not want it to be there in the hall. He picked up the bag by the handles and he did not look inside and he set it in what would have been the smoking room if they had any need to smoke. The bag reeked, as much of rancid blood as it did saliva. He was curious, that was true, but he would not let himself fall for it. 

Rugir was standing in the doorway, watching him. Vivian hadn’t heard him. He was so light, so thin, and he wavered, standing in his nightgown like a ghost. He wasn’t looking at the room. He was looking at Vivian. 

“This room is off limits,” Vivian decided, dropping the bag next to the armchair and going to Rugir, a hand on his waist. “There’s a lot of dangerous stuff in here. I don’t want you to get hurt Lily.” 

Rugir curled into his side. “Bad?” 

“No, no, it's not bad, I never told you it was off limits, I only thought of it now. It's just that there’s a lot of chemicals, drugs, that would cause you pain.” He kissed Rugir’s temple as he led him out of the room. He could swear that Rugir blushed. That was good, there was color coming back to his skin. “Do you want to go to the garden and read?”

Rugir shook his head. This was a new development, he was still not speaking much, but he had started to communicate. 

“Do you want something to eat?” 

He shook his head. 

“Do you want to take a nap?” 

He shook his head. 

“What do you want to do?” 

Rugir sighed, a long and heavy thing, as if all of the air in him had gone stale. “What do you…” 

“It’s okay.” 

“...when I’m not here. What?” 

“Do you want to see?” 

Rugir nodded.