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It had taken more than one visit, more than one lonely night of poor Chanelle being all alone, rubbing her body against her busty stepdaughter, drinking socially, but Rei #8 had done it. She had managed to get a horny, lonely Chanelle to let her eat her out!

Now, technically, yeah, Rei #8 had never eaten out anybody, and technically, she was obviously going to be way worse than Alex, but that wasn't the point at all! The point was to make Chanelle cheat on her wife (technically, apparently, they'd never formally closed their relationship after getting married, and had been pretty 'free spirited' beforehand, being a couple of bisexual sluts? Hot.), so that Chanelle would feel guilty about it, and then she'd encourage Alex to do things with Rei, and soon enough they'd be wifeswapping or spouseswapping or whatever, and Drake would be fucking Chanelle while Alex ate out Rei, and stuff like that.

It was a genius strategy. She was glad she (in an alternate universe, and relayed to her via Drake) had thought of it. She was riding Chanelle's senses, as her stepmoms talked about her.

"I do worry about Rei," Chanelle said.

Alex let out a small laugh. "She's a tough kid. She punches above her Level. She can turn into a damn Goliath. She's safe."

"Oh, I know that," Chanelle said, with a little giggle. "She absolutely is safe, in a fight. But I'm more concerned about emotionally. You know, her husband has eight wives."

"Knowing how much a horndog Rei is, that's probably a benefit," Alex said, making Rei #8 mentally scoff. She wasn't a horndog! Well, okay. She was pretty horny. But that was because she had a dude's libido in a girl's sensitive body!

"That's true. But she has that cloning spell, and she's always going around with a dozen bodies. With her libido where it is, I don't think any man could satisfy her." God, Chanelle was a wordsmith! Rei could only desperately wish she was better at eating pussy to reward her hot bisexual stepmom for being a good girl and coaxing the oral addict Alex into eating her out! "It'd be better if she could be intimate with somebody she knew better," Chanelle explained.

"She has to know her fellow wives pretty good by now. If she doesn't, she's even dumber than she acts." Guh! Why was Alex so mean to her?! She was gonna make Alex eat her out for hours, as punishment! Okay, that wouldn't be a punishment for Alex, but still!

"Oh, absolutely. But she's only known them for as long as she's been with Drake, you know?"

"Mhm," Alex agreed, glancing up at Chanelle. "What are you getting at?"

"I just - ah, it sounds so silly to suggest it, but - you remember back in our wild younger days, when we used to occasionally have a bit of kinky fun?" Yes! Yes!

"I do remember that."

"I was just thinking, well, she isn't really our daughter," Chanelle explained, making Alex frown. "I mean, we love her, of course, but it's not like I pushed her out. We only got to her pretty late, too, so it's natural she doesn't quite see us as family..."

"Get to the point."

"If I have to get to the point..." Chanelle rested her chin on her hand, fingers splaying up her cheek. "I think that you should indulge the poor dear! She's so desperately thirsty for it, and don't you think it would be fun?"

"Really?" Alex asked, a frown on her lips. "You honestly think I should...?" Alex just let out a laugh at that point. "You're joking, of course. You had me going, sorry," she said, smiling at Chanelle. No! No, Chanelle wasn't joking! Tell her, Chanelle!

"I'm not..." Chanelle said. She reached out for Alex's hand, gently squeezing it in hers. "Don't you remember those wild days, back when we were young?" Rei wondered if she'd rather the pair reminisce about being a couple hot bisexual sluts, or get to the part where Chanelle successfully browbeat Alex into eating Rei's pussy. They probably got in a bunch of hot lesbian and/or gangbang type scenarios. A pair as hot as them? Man... On the other hand, actually getting Alex on her knees would be the culmination of like half her sex fantasies. So yeah. Move on.

"I remember," Alex said. She twisted her hand around, squeezing Chanelle's back. "But we're older now," she noted. "We're living a different life now."

"I know. We have our Rei, for one. But she's out of the house, we don't have to worry about her... hearing things she shouldn't." What?! Had they stopped having sexy threesomes and moresomes just for Rei's sake?!? No way, right?! What a terrible idea!

"Yes, now we have to worry about her participating in things she shouldn't. Besides, half the reason we stopped was just... the emotional angle."

"Yes, I know." Chanelle said. "But don't you see? It's perfect. We don't have to worry about feelings, this way!"

"I really don't see how?"

"Well, think about it. Imagine that you get feelings for Rei-" Alex snorted at that. What was so funny about the idea of getting feelings for her?! There was a guy who picked her as his wife out of literally every hot bitch in all of fiction! She was awesome! "-or Drake. They're already in an open marriage, so there wouldn't be any problem. You wouldn't have to choose between me and them. And, of course, I would always choose you," Chanelle added, leaning in to kiss Alex on the lips, a quick peck, "but even if I wouldn't, I wouldn't have to. So we don't have to worry about that sort of thing, with them."

Alex let out a sigh at that, looking at Chanelle. "I didn't realize how much you missed those days," she said, with a soft, melancholic smile. "I guess I should have known... you always did enjoy them more than me." Rei really wished the stereotypes held for this situation, because then it would be the masculine lesbian who was the slutty one, which would mean she'd have already gotten eaten out by Alex like fifty times.

"Oh, I don't miss them - I just thought... it was fun, and Rei is constantly like that, and I don't think it would hurt. I'm totally happy with you, but you liked them too."

"I did. But I like doing those things with you even more, Ellie," she said, and Rei could feel Chanelle's growing warm at the compliment. No! Stop getting all sappy and lovey-dovey! Get back to talking about an orgy with Rei and Drake! "Rei will get intolerable if we do that," Alex said. Okay maybe the sappy lovey-dovey stuff was fine, actually!

"Isn't she already?" Chanelle asked, with a wry smile. Alex just laughed at that. What the hell?! Her moms were so mean to her when they were alone... should she adjust her behavior in any way? Nah. "I'd like to do it, but I'll be fine if you don't."

"Mm..." Alex hummed, thinking it over. "We'll try it. See how it is," she said, and Chanelle promptly threw her arms around Alex in a hug, the pair soon starting to make out.

Obviously, Rei #8 watched the whole thing. She even managed to grab Julia and make her eat her out, effectively doubling the cunnilingus: Alex eating Chanelle out, Julia eating her out - and Julia could definitely learn a thing or two about pussy eating from Alex.

* * *

Ryu couldn't help but smile, as she stepped back into the Hostess of Fertility. There was a sense of familiarity to returning home, but she felt as if she also had a weight lifted off her shoulders. Like she could look at Mia Grand and Syr and truly appreciate the women who had seen her at her lowest and helped nurse her back to health. "Ryu's back!" Called out Anya, and it took no time at all for Lunoire, Chloe, Syr, and Mia to all appear as well.

Hugs were exchanged, smiles, words of greeting. Ryu's own "It's good to see you all again" was more earnest, more emotive, than it had been in the past. "I missed you all," she said, feeling tears start stinging at her eyes. "I love you all, thank you, thank you for being here with me."

"Ahhh, Ryu is crying!" Anya said. "Don't cry, Ryu!" Anya said, hugging her. "Don't worry, Mia will still let you take a break!"

"I don't think that's why she's crying," Mia said, sounding annoyed at the accusation.

"She's probably crying because you're all crowding her! Shoo, shoo!" Syr declared, huffing and waving off the rest of them. They took a step or two back, but didn't actually leave. "Did you bring your things back already?" She asked Ryu.

"Ah- Erza has them," Ryu said, sniffling a bit. "They should be just outside."

"Well, let's carry them back in, then!" Syr said. "Doing something helps with intense emotions," she explained, and as the pair stepped outside at her direction, she spoke up again. "Plus, it'll give us a chance to talk alone."

As it turned out, Syr's idea of contributing to carrying Ryu's things back inside was purely in the sense of moral support - she didn't lift the dresser even a little bit, leaving Ryu to instead heft it in, grunting as she carried it around, having to walk backwards through the Hostess of Fertility as she made her way to her room. Syr's hands were on the bottom of the bookshelf, but if she was helping, it was so little that it might as well have been nothing.

Either way, Ryu was glad to have been given a moment to gather herself, even if her vision had blurred from the tears from earlier, making her hurriedly wipe her face clean once the pair of them were alone. "Thank you, Syr," she said, letting out a harsh breath, her nose seeming congested for the moment.

"No problem," Syr replied, handing over a handkerchief to Ryu. Ryu stared at it for a moment. "Blow your nose," she explained, and Ryu felt her cheeks heat up as she hurriedly did so. "So! Tell me all about it, Ryu," she said, sitting down on Ryu's bed and kicking her legs, a bright smile on her lips. "I can tell it was a good trip already!"

Ryu sat down next to Syr, smiling wistfully. It was a good trip. She told Syr the story, starting from the very beginning.

* * *

Syr could smile with ease, as Ryu retold her adventures. The ogres and fomoire were handled with elegant simplicity by the party of five. Her smile became mildly more plastic as she learned that Drake had apparently impregnated Erza on the trip, as she silently raged that he dared to impregnate another woman besides Cassandra, that he had the blessing to be allowed to start a proper family with her, and did nothing! Nothing! What a little scumbag, she wanted to snarl. If Syr could have given Cassandra her own child, she most certainly would have.

Still, she handled it well enough, and hearing the story of Ryu begrudgingly reuniting with her goddess, of the emotional rebirth that Ryu had experienced, made her smile become sincere again. The story wound around to that fomoire coming upon Rezianal, and then it took a turn for the worse. The oh-so-much worse.

"...I saw..." Ryu's eyes were wet, fresh tears threatening to burst forth. "I saw my old teammates. Alise. Kaguya. Lyra. Neze. Iska. Maryuu. Noin. Asta. Ryana. Celty. That Skill of his, it - it made me realize. They wouldn't want me to... to live in darkness, because of them. They would want me to be happy. Just like I want them to be happy, wherever they are now," she explained.

Syr could understand how the object lesson had worked better than anything she'd ever said to Ryu. She placed one hand atop the oblivious elf's hand, gently squeezing it. "I'm sure they would," she agreed, even if she was annoyed the lesson had come from Drake's Skill rather than her own wisdom and guidance.

The difference in Ryu's soul was obvious, just to look at it. Where once it had been a porcelain work of art with a single flaw, a deep and agonizing one, now that flaw was beginning to heal. It had hardly gone away, but it was as if mortar had been placed in and smoothed out, leaving a visibly different - less appealing - texture where once there had simply been an inky black scar. "Once that was done, we learned that the fomoire had all died, and we started the journey back to Orario. It took me a few tries, but I managed to thank Drake for what his Skill showed me."

Syr blinked. Ryu was hardly shy. "Why did it take multiple tries?" She asked, a pleasant smile on her lips that was completely false.

"Ah... the first time I wanted to tell him, he was... making love to Erza," Ryu said. Her cheeks turned pink, but Syr could see the fire in her soul, the quiet, restive inferno, and she knew what it meant without needing it said. Without even needing Ryu to know herself. "I felt... embarrassed, to speak to him, after that," she explained.

That was true, as far as Ryu understood, but that wasn't her true feelings.

No, her true feelings were...

"I can see how that would be embarrassing! He sure does have a lot of sex, hm?" Syr said, smiling, trying to poke at the parts of Drake that were the most loathsome. She absolutely, absolutely, could not allow her precious Ryu to also fall into the clutches of that man.

"He does," Ryu agreed. "I think... it's very good," she said. "Rei and Erza both seemed... very satisfied." Syr kept up the smile, though she could feel a vein throbbing in her forehead. Then Ryu frowned for a moment, her expression becoming distant. Syr hoped that it was jealousy. Ryu would experience jealousy, then realize that Drake was a terrible partner and lose all that love for him. "There is one other thing. As we were going home, Rei said... I have the emotional intelligence of a rotten tangerine. Do you think that's true?"

Syr's eyelid twitched.

So that horny little beast knew too. "No, of course not," she said, gently rubbing Ryu's shoulders. "Rei is just a little..." she would have liked to call her a bitch. "Bit peculiar! She likes to tease, I'm sure," she said, giving Ryu a one-armed hug.

Was this entire situation her fault?

No. No. It was Drake who was the problem.

* * *

Haruhime laid on the bed. The only thing she was wearing at the moment was a blindfold, and her nose and ears were working with far greater intensity than normal, as she remained still on her back. She could smell Drake. Her husband. He hadn't used any disguise magic this time. They both hoped - her more than him - that she had gotten acclimated enough to him that she wouldn't vomit. She didn't even feel the urge, as she felt the bed shift under his weight, as he clambered atop her. His scent became intense, as he loomed over her, bare chest suspended above her, and she could hear his soft breaths.

On automatic, her hand reached down for his cock, her fingers gently wrapping around it. He grunted, and his scent got thicker, more masculine, more sexual. A stroke downward revealed why, as she found a droplet of precum on his tip, the thing smearing across her thumb. She brought it up to her lips, going so far as to lick it.

She found his flavor pleasant, not disgusting. Not frightening. It didn't arouse in her any desire to flee or vomit, not at this point, and that made her happy. "T-try," she breathed out.

"Alright," he said. His voice was so soft and gentle and reassuring. She felt his body shift on the bed, his cock soon pointing down at her sex, the very tip teasing her. This was the moment. It was going to happen. She felt his thing - the thing of oblique reference in love poems, the thing that should have been her joy as a woman but had become her terror - push apart her folds, gently, slowly. Her inner walls caressed his length as it slipped, inch by inch, inside her. He was methodical and slow with his pace, really taking his time with her, not wanting to surprise her or push her too far. She let out a low noise of pleasure, her eyelids fluttering behind her blindfold, and she heard his own breathing hitch in arousal in response to her movements.

It was different from the other ways they had done it. Right now, there was no wall of deception between them. No distance produced by magic, to let her handle his body in a way pleasing to them both. After a few very long, but still quite pleasant seconds, he buried himself entirely inside her, serving to merge their bodies as one. She let out a sigh of delight at the sensation. She was one with him. Truly one with him. All there was between them was this blindfold - she almost wanted to tear it off, to be completely united with him for once, but she knew it would end poorly.

As she lay there, feeling surprisingly calm, she felt a calloused, distinctly male hand slide across her flank, making its way gingerly up her stomach, running across her sternum. It almost tickled, as it seemed to roll around up there. She felt her own pleasure begin to rise at the same time, her body faintly squirming underneath him, her hips undulating from side to side. He felt so good, being there inside her. She shivered, feeling goosebumps run across her flesh, feeling the pearl of her womanhood pulse in time with her heartbeat, pressing against her beloved's pubic bone. "Ahhh," she half-moaned, her pleasure seeming to climb with every second. His hand shifted, gently cupping her breast, fingers sliding across soft skin, and then he leaned down.

His lips captured hers, cutting off her moan entirely. She truly felt like she was one with him, for the first time since they had gotten married. Her hands reached up for him, nervously at first. Fingers ran through messy hair, then slid down towards his muscular back, rolling around towards his chest. At any moment, she remained ready for her body's androphobia to reassert itself and make her puke, to have to break off the kiss - but that moment never came. She was left to just enjoy him. His warmth. His scent. His taste. His texture. His other hand reached up for her breast as well, gently cupping it - and she promptly came on his cock, feeling her inner walls squeeze around him as she moaned happily into his mouth.

She could feel her tail beat against the bed beneath them, feeling vaguely embarrassed by that, despite the absurdity, the thump-thump noise seeming to echo in her ears. He didn't seem to care, though, instead choosing to take that moment to start to pump himself inside her, gently pulling out of her cunt, her inner walls massaging his length as it slipped backwards, before he pushed back inside. She let out a lewd mewl into his mouth, her pleasure seeming to grow ever more intoxicating, her head growing light, bliss stealing away her thoughts. Fresh tears began to flee her eyes, not of disgust or sorrow, but of pure joy - at last, at last, after months of trying, she was able to handle her husband. She felt the blindfold grow damp from the crying, and she simply moaned into his mouth as he took her in that position, pumping his hips back and forth in a methodical fashion, playing with her breasts all the while.

She came twice more, before he broke off the kiss. She continued to squirm on his cock, relishing the intimacy, the scent of his breath as it cascaded down over her face, the feeling of their bodies being truly united like this. "I love you," she whispered out, the words full of genuine heart and feeling. "I'm so happy," she breathed.

"I love you too," he told her. "You're so beautiful, Haruhime. You make me happy, to be able to be with you, to be able to make you happy."

She felt a furious flush to her cheeks, squeezing down on his cock simultaneously. She wanted to say something of her own, to express her own desire to make him happy - instead, she just came again, moaning like a common whore as she gasped beneath him. He responded by kissing her on the lips, and even that spread fire and heat through her whole body, her breath becoming ragged as she squirmed in delight, her fingernails raking across his back. They found no purchase, fruitlessly sliding across his bare skin, and she just twisted herself up on his cock, her back arching, her sex weeping, her eyes rolling around in their sockets, still blind behind the blindfold.

His taste in her mouth was delicious, now. His scent in her nose was intoxicating. The closeness of his body, the feeling of his hands, the fullness that came with being filled by him, that came with their bodies uniting - all of it sent her into an endless cascade of ecstasy that stretched on beyond any sense of time.

By the end of it, she was a happy puddle beneath him, boneless and satisfied. She might even have called herself 'used up,' if it wasn't so crass a turn of phrase. It would be better to say that she had... spent more than long enough alongside him.

Despite that, when he spent himself inside her, her body slick with sweat, utterly filled with him, he moved in towards her, gently shifting their bodies so that they were lying on the bed, her in his arms on her side, him behind her. She could feel his manhood, absently slapping at her buttocks, at her tail. With a furious, scarlet flush she remembered something that The Prettiest Princess had once said, and she nervously started to twine her tail around his cock, still slick with her juices. He groaned as the fluffy thing worked to gingerly wrap around his cock.

She felt a smile involuntarily curl across her lips. This was the happy life that Ishtar had wanted to deny her. Her with her husband, who loved her, both of them working to make the other happy in sweet domestic bliss. She let out a long sigh, and let herself drift off to sleep.

* * *

Loki laid on her bed, one hand lazily resting over her stomach as Finn paced back and forth in the room. He'd come to chat with her about Drake and Drake's harem. He was concerned about them, since they still didn't know the secret behind the whole situation.

"I could just ask him," Loki said, as she scratched her stomach. "You know. What's the secret you're hiding from me? He's in love with me, you know?"

"I know. You've mentioned it before," Finn said, in a tone of voice that expertly mixed polite and annoyed.

"Yep. I could just ask." Loki said, idly kicking her legs in the air.

"Yet you don't," Finn pointed out.

"Well, he could just lie to me," Loki said.

"You would know if he did." Finn let out a small sigh. "There's another reason you don't wish to ask him, isn't there? I know you well, Lady Loki."

"Guh. What other reason could there possibly be?" Loki demanded. Finn wore a melancholic smile. "Wha- hey! I'm not in love with him back, okay! Yeah, he's a fun time guy, but I am 100% not in love with him! I said I loved him, and it didn't proc his stupid love power!"

"Proc?" Finn asked.

"You know! I didn't get the good girl juice that makes all the ladies Level up fast!"

"But you did tell him you loved him," Finn pointed out.

As if it was fair to use logic in a situation like this! "Only to test it! Obviously I knew that I wasn't in love with him, I was just pretending to say it," she explained, crossing her arms.

Finn sat down on her desk, hands clasping together in his lap. "I think the actual reason you don't want to ask him isn't about your own love, anyway." She twisted her head to squint at him. "It's about his."

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?" She demanded, huffing as she got up.

"He's told you that he loves you. You know it's the truth. How many other members of your familia have said those words?"

"Plenty! Lots!" Especially when they were young children who looked up to her like a playful grandma or mama, like Ais, or when they had just joined the familia! "I can't even count how many!"

"And how many of them are adults who have been a member of the familia longer than three months?" Finn asked.

"I am not insecure! How dare you suggest I'm insecure!" She reached for her bosom. "See these? These are C-cups! Nothing to be insecure about now!" She declared, making Finn press one finger against his forehead. "Fine, fine, I'll prove it, I'll go get him right now!" She said, getting up to her feet. "I'm not insecure at all! I don't even care if he only loves me because he's on a secret mission or something!" She didn't! Not even a little! If he was only here to seduce her into his harem, having been sent by another goddess, then - then fine! Whatever! She didn't care! "I'm going, don't try to stop me!" She said, as she put her hand on the door.

"I wasn't," Finn said, in a perfectly companionable voice. Loki huffed loudly and stomped over to Drake's room, throwing the door open to confront him. He was currently lying there with Haruhime, both of their naked bodies gently pushed into one another's. He glanced up at her, Haruhime still wearing a blindfold on account of her androphobia.

The scene was too damn cute! Too cute to interrupt! She couldn't! Haruhime's fluffy tail was actually wrapped around Drake's cock, what could be cuter than that?! Nothing! Nothing, that's what! She huffed, closing the door quietly to avoid disturbing them. Then she walked back to her office, whereupon Finn fixed her with a look that said he absolutely expected this result. "No! I'll ask him! Just not right now! On account of Haruhime's sleeping! When they're done cuddling, that's when I'll ask him!"

"Of course you will," Finn said. Lie.

Before she could argue further, the door to the office swung open, and her favorite tittymonster in the whole familia was standing there. "Lady Loki!" Erza said, grinning vivaciously as the pair made eye contact. "I need to update my falna! Also, since you are the head of the familia, I suppose I should tell you - I'm pregnant!"

"Congratulations," Finn said, smiling at her as he hopped off the desk. "Lady Loki, I do honestly hope you'll follow through on what you were talking about," he said, giving a small bow to the goddess before departing. Erza watched him go - then closed the door and Requipped to be half-naked from the waist up, not a hint of being embarrassed as those big old H-cup titties popped into view.

Pregnancy made your tits go up a size, too! They'd go from H-cup... to I-cup! Erza's were so big that Loki might not even notice... if she wasn't a connoisseur of huge tits! "Let's go, beautiful," Loki said with a grin, as Erza sat down on the bed. Loki dutifully updated Erza's falna, then just as dutifully gave her big old beautiful boobs a full ten seconds of massage. Haa... such wonderful boobs... such a wonderful familia member...

She totally would ask Drake later! She would! She wasn't going to just... just let the secret go unraveled just because she didn't want to lose access to these boobs!

Thoughts of H-cups to I-cups (and definitely not thoughts of Drake!) kept Loki from actually processing what had shown up on the new record of Erza's falna. "What does it say, Lady Loki?" Erza asked.

"A-ah? Oh," Loki said, leaning back to look at Erza's falna. "Haha! You Leveled up too," she said, giving Erza's tits one more grope. "Congratulations! Level Three!"

"I am glad to hear that," Erza said, with a warm smile. Ahh... what a wonderful girl. Loki's hands were still on her tits and she hadn't complained yet. "May I have a copy of my updated status sheet?" Erza asked.

"Oh, right, right," Loki said, letting out a sigh as she let go of Erza's tits to press a piece of paper against her back. Those boobs... they really were the best...

* * *

There was a rap on Loki's door, waking her from her drooling slumber. She'd just been dreaming about Erza's fat tits, getting even fatter because Drake had knocked her up. It was a wonderful dream, and she wished it could have gone on forever, and also become real. Well, Erza's tits would get bigger, but, there was a lot of groping in that dream. She wiped at her mouth to clear away the drool, straightened herself up, and stepped over to the door. "Who is it?" She called out.

"It's Drake. You came to my room earlier?"

Wait, he was coming to her?! She was... she was totally going to talk to him, later! But now she didn't have to, which was good! Yes. It was good. "Oh, yeah, come in," she said, grinning practically ear to ear. Yes. She would pick his brain and find out the Truth! She'd show Finn! Calling her insecure... okay, he hadn't actually called her insecure, she'd been the only one to use that word, but still. She closed and locked the door, then plastered herself against it, facing Drake. Damn, he was hot. Ohhh he was taking his shirt off. It was either a brilliant strategy to distract her, or, he'd thought that she had come by for sex... probably the latter. "I wanted to talk," she said. Drake paused with the shirt halfway up, starting to push it down. "No need for you to wear a shirt for it!" She protested hurriedly.

He let out a snort and pulled the shirt the rest of the way up. He could snort as much as he liked, as long as she kept getting to see that delicious hot body of his. Her tongue flicked against her lips. "So, what was it you wanted to talk about?" He prompted her, once he was shirtless, and her gaze was drawn back up to his eyes. There wasn't even a trace of annoyance, or even superiority in them! He was looking at her with genuine affection, like her staring at his chest was this cute thing the girl he liked did. Guh! It was an attack!

"The truth," she said, at last, poking her finger against Drake's sternum. "You and I both know, your story doesn't add up. Noriko and Xulia's amnesia... the fact that you called those four your wives even though they weren't... Erza's strength, the fact that you, Xulia, and Rei all have the same weird stat nobody else does. Something fishy's going on! So tell me what it is!"

Drake sighed at that, touching his forehead for a moment. Was this the part where he revealed his evil villainy? Where he suddenly did a complete personality 180 and said things like, "Bwahaha. Yes. I am evil. So nice of you to notice. I love doing evil things, mwahaha," like a member of an Evilus familia who had just gotten caught out?

"Okay," he said. "Um." He sat down on her bed, lacing his fingers together as he clearly thought about where to begin. "So... well, before I start, is there going to be anybody overhearing this? You can tell people if you feel you should, but I'd rather not be overheard."

Loki yelled. "Anybody eavesdropping, knock it the fuck off." She took a moment to let her orders take effect - when you talked serious, your familia listened to you. After she'd given any eavesdroppers an adequate amount of time, she grinned. "Alright. Dish. Gimme."

Drake took a deep breath, and proceeded to tell her an absolutely absurd story.

* * *

I had told Loki, honestly, that I loved her. I wasn't going to tell her my suspicions about various bad things Julia had done, or about the Xenos - they weren't my secrets to tell. But on the matter of my origins... it was one thing to elude the question. It was another to outright lie about it. Loki let me tell it all, in my own words, without even asking for clarification on any points until I was finished.

* * *

"So... wait, hang on..." Loki said, tapping the side of her head as she took in his whole story. There were a lot of things that were important. Buying women with magic points that you got for making girls fall in love with you. The fact that multiple of the girls down the pipeline would probably let her grope them. Another, seemingly more powerful, goddess having staked her claim to her Drake first. The cosmological implications of the fact that apparently Goro and Setsuko had been created ex nihilo, despite the fact that she and Hephaistos and every other god and goddess remembered them clearly. But there was one thing that was more important than anything else to her... "So you didn't originally look this hot?"

"No," he admitted. "I mean, I wasn't fat or anything, but I had a bit of a receding hairline and I had to wear glasses."

"WHAT?!?" Loki demanded, shouting so loud probably the whole damn familia was woken up (if any of them were sleeping). "What kind of sick fucking freak would ruin a damn glasses boy?!? Hot stud covered with muscles, wearing a pair of - were they the thick kind?"

"Yeah, rectangular," Drake said. "They're easier to find."

"Rectangular, thick, hnnng fuck, I can see it in my mind's eye!" She could. Those thick frames on his face, making him look so sexy. "She ruined a damn megane, what the fuck," Loki said, shaking her head.

"I mean, I bought Body Talent," he said.

"So?!" Loki demanded. "So what?! It obviously shouldn't apply to needing glasses! They completely change the shape of the face and - wait, does that mean if Asfi fell in love with you, she wouldn't need glasses anymore? This is beyond fucked up."

"Uh... you're taking this... rather well?" Drake asked. "I would have figured you'd be bothered by... I don't know... being from a fictional universe?"

"Drake. We're not in a fictional universe. You can tell, because we like, exist," she said, waving her hands around in the air. "Fictional things, by definition, do not exist."

"I guess that's true, but... I did tell you about metaknowledge, right?"

"Yeah, you also told me your precious Haruhime was a virgin in the other universe." She waved her hand dismissively. "Completely irrelevant, coincidence or pattern seeking or precognition or something. Let's focus on the important thing. We need to fuck up your eyes exactly right so you have to wear glasses again."

"We absolutely do not," Drake said. "What about... well, Venus?"

"What about me?" Loki asked. Drake just stared at her blankly. "You know. I'm a god. You're a mortal. Remember that existential crisis you had when we met?"

"No."

"Exactly. So a double goddess or whatever the hell Venus is doesn't matter to me either." She paused. "Alright. So. Hang on." She was thinking things through properly now. "Okay, no more spending points without talking to me first," she decided. "Fair?"

"Fair," he agreed, pretty easily. "Thank you for taking this so well."

"Yeah, yeah," Loki said, pacing back and forth. "Man... why didn't you just lead with this?"

"I just... it didn't seem like the thing to do? I'd sound crazy more than anything else?"

"I guess. Well, thanks for the honesty. Hrm - you weren't acting, all that time? Your personality's the same as the one you presented?"

"I am not willing to put in the effort to pretend to be somebody I'm not."

True, but... "Yes or no answers only please."

"Yes. My personality is the same as the one I presented to you, and to my wives, and the rest of the familia." True.

"Good. Good." She stepped over to her desk, collecting a piece of paper and a pen. "Write down your... the stuff you can use these magic points to buy," she said, handing them over to him.

He got up and went over to the desk, dutifully scribbling everything down, leaving Loki a moment of silence to wonder. Had he not trusted her? Was she in any way untrustworthy? Was there even the tiniest thing that would make anybody in the whole world reasonably believe that they shouldn't share their secrets with her?

She decided to let it go and not answer that question.

* * *

Hestia felt bad about this... but she needed a familia member! She did! How could she have a successful familia, without any familia members? No matter how you looked at it, it was impossible! And she'd tried getting them the 'right' way! So now it was time to try the wrong way!

Her knuckles rapped against the door repeatedly. "Just a moment!" Came a female voice from inside the house. Hestia bounced in place on her feet. "Oh, hello!" The woman said. She was pretty tall! Really tall, actually! "What can I do for you?"

"A-ah," Hestia hesitated for a moment, giving an awkward smile as she scratched the back of her head. This woman was a member of Hephaistos's familia... but it wasn't like she was a blacksmith or anything! She wasn't a supporter, or an adventurer! If- if Hephaistos wasn't making use of her, it'd be fine, right? Right! For sure! "I'm Hestia! I was hoping you'd join my familia!"

"O-oh, well," the woman hesitated. "I, uhm... thank you for the offer... but why me?"

"Because... uhm... I don't have any familia members yet," she admitted, pushing her fingers against one another and looking up at the woman nervously. "Since I don't... it's really hard to get new ones... so I was hoping you'd join my familia?"

"Oh, well... I mean..."

"Pleeeeeeeease?" Hestia asked. This was the farthest she'd ever gotten in the sales pitch, and the woman hadn't said no yet! She had a chance! She needed to seal the deal! She bowed her head prodigiously. "Please, please, please?!"

"I... if you really... want it so badly... then I guess... I can..." the woman said, clearly overcome by Hestia's excellent arguments.

"Yes! Yes! Thank you thank you thank you!" Hestia said, bouncing up and down in place excitedly, grabbing both of the woman's hands and just bouncing without the slightest hesitation. She suddenly worried she'd gotten the wrong house and was about to piss off Hephaistos by sniping somebody important! "A-ah, you are Setsuko, right?"

"Yes, I am," she said, with a gentle smile at Hestia. Hestia let out a sigh of relief. Good! This'd be smooth sailing from here!
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