Superheroine-Seducing Accountant, Chapter 90: Vanessa
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"Happy birthday to you~ / Happy birthday to you~ / Happy birthday, dear Vanessa~ / happy birthday to you!"

Vanessa blew out the candles on her birthday cake, and everybody clapped. She smiled. She looked up at Dr. Siskander, her mentor in magic at Star Heroic. "So, since I'm eighteen now-"

"No," Dr. Siskander said, a doting smile on his lips, like he thought she was flirting as a cute eighteen year old thing. She wasn't! She was totally hoping he'd say yes and become her sexy older boyfriend! "I appreciate the compliment, Ms. Theophilus, but I don't think it would be appropriate for me to have a student-teacher relationship."

"Then you're fired, Dr. Siskander!" Vanessa declared, pointing right at him. "Date me now?"

He just shook his head, and Vanessa let out a sigh. She hadn't expected it to work, but she couldn't help but be disappointed! She was into older guys, and Dr. Siskander, being a superhero, was hot, rich, and good, the three ideal traits in a man! Also, as her mentor, he was nice to her!

"She's only joking, Dr. Siskander," her mother said. "Please, continue to mentor her in control of her magic," she added, with some slight strain to her voice.

Okay. It was important that she keep getting training... but Mom didn't have to sound so scared! She was just half-demon on her dad's side, what was the big deal?

"Alright, now that you struck out, open my present," Lope said, almost bouncing on her feet. Given the size of the present, Vanessa could guess what it was: some video game. Hopefully a good one, and not something Lope liked. She took it, casually peeling it open, while her mom cut the cake up to serve to everybody.

"Oh, cool!" Vanessa said. Bubblegum Farm Deluxe. It was a game where you raised cute animals made out of candy, which was much more fun than Lope's normal variety of games (games where you shoot people and/or race fast cars). "Thanks, Lope."

"I feel like she's surprised that my present was good. Is she surprised, Xico?" Xico just giggled a little at that, reaching out with her telekinesis to hand another present over to Vanessa.

It wound up being a group of three books: Fantasies of Dominion, Orion's Song, and Pater Familia. "They were... supposed to be good... and your genres..."

"Oh, thanks!" Vanessa said. "I'm sure I'll enjoy them!" It was probably hard for Xico to pick out good books, given her English skills.

* * *

Vanessa lay on the couch, hand on her stomach, feeling bloated and fat from having eaten three slices of cake. Lope sat on the floor in front of the couch, playing one of her own games, some dumb thing about shooting one zillion aliens with bullets. You'd think it would annoy Xico, given she was half-alien, but Xico was just texting away on her phone with a smile on her lips.

"Nnnguh," Vanessa whined. She rolled her head around to check to see if her mom or Dr. Siskander were around. "Hey. So. I'm gonna start working at Star Heroic proper soon, rather than just the internship thingy with Doc."

"Yep," Lope agreed, only half-listening.

"Are there any hot, single older guys there? I know Mikey's got a girlfriend, but he's our age anyway. I like my men to have at least a decade on me." Statistically, relationships where the man was significantly older than the woman were the healthiest! It did make it strange that it didn't work out between Mom and Dad, given Dad was around six thousand years older than Mom, but he was a demon who had dumped her on Mom before hiding back to hell like a deadbeat.

Both Lope and Xico paused, glancing at each other for a moment. You'd have thought it was incredible friendship powers that were allowing them to psychically communicate like that. Actually, it was just that Xico was a telepath, though. "I don't know about romance," Lope said, "but if you want to have sex..."

"Obviously I want to have sex!" Vanessa grabbed a pillow and hugged it to her chest tight. "I do have sex, actually! I had sex with- oop, can't kiss and tell," she said, just barely stopping herself. She wasn't a virgin! "Not with older guys, though. But now I'm eighteen and legal, so-!"

"Um..." Xico started. "Age... of consent... in New York... is seventeen."

"Wha-?!" Vanessa got up in an instant, grabbing her phone. No! This wasn't possible! She could have been fox hunting for an entire year - three hundred sixty five days - but she hadn't?! Her phone brought up the horrible truth in mere moments: she'd missed the chance to get plowed by a hot older guy every single one of the past three hundred and sixty five days, and she wailed in misery. "Noooo..." She paused. "Wait, there's a hot foxy older guy at Star Heroic you think I can get with?"

"Xico, text him," Lope said. "It'll be a great birthday present for her."

"Yeah, Xico! Please!" Vanessa had no idea who this guy was, but as long as he was hot, she didn't really care! She had finally been freed to enjoy the forbidden wonders of the flesh of older, more experienced men, and she didn't want to miss out!

* * *

I'd been texting with Xico during a day off. She wasn't the best texter, just in a mechanical sense - slow to respond and sometimes making random grammatical errors.

The girl had big, full breasts, long pink hair, and a pair of horns. She was clearly trying to come off as playful, vaguely pawing at the camera with long, pink nails. Her top had started to come off, teasing the possibility of her becoming topless.

It was probably one of the weirder conversations about sex that I'd had with Xico and Lope, but that was fine.

I actually wound up falling asleep on my couch again before Vanessa showed up, so I woke up again to banging on my door. "Helloooo?" She called out.

"Sorry," I called out, getting to my feet and opening the door. There she stood: short, curvaceous, and with a big bright smile as she saw me.

"Wow, you look really good, Mr. Cooper," she said. "You don't mind if I call you Mr. Cooper, right?" My dick twitched as I let her into my apartment.

"I don't," I told her. "Most people call me Roger, though."

"Roger... mm..." She hummed as she chewed on the name. "I mean, we don't know each other that well! Hi! I'm Vanessa Theophilus," she said, offering her hand to me. "I just turned eighteen, and I'm going to be working at Star Heroic Soon," she said, putting a vague sort of emphasis on that.

"Nice to meet you, Vanessa," I told her, taking her hand and shaking it.

"You can ask about the horns. Oh, or do you know already?"

"Xico has tails, so I just assume you're half alien?" I said. "Or a Nova?" I think some of them have mutations.

"I am... technically half-alien," she said, with a sly smile. "It's just my foreign papa isn't from an exoplanet. He's from Hell." I blinked at that. "If that's a dealbreaker, it's okay!"

"It's not a dealbreaker," I told her. "I'm just... surprised, I guess. I'm from a different universe, with a lot less demons and fae and bullshit like that."

"Oh, I get that," Vanessa said, nodding along. "Anyway, Dad fucked off after knocking Mom up, so I've never even met him. He's named Dantalian, if that name means anything to you."

"It does not."

"Good, that'd probably mean you were a warlock or occultist or something anyway. I dated a guy like that a couple years ago, blech. I bet it's like tentacle guys for Xico." She nodded to herself as if she'd spoken some profound wisdom; I, personally, had basically no idea what she was talking about. "Anyway! Nice to meet you, Mr. Cooper. You're from an alternate universe, that must be interesting?"

"It's actually the opposite, since my universe is much less interesting than this one."

She started to wander further into my apartment - and then spotted the hentai DVDs that Gillian had left on my desk, her lips parting softly as she saw them. "Oh my gosh!" She picked up the one about the incubus and the schoolgirl, and I inwardly cringed. Wasn't this basically like inviting a girl over and she finds interracial porn featuring her race first thing? "Aw..." She frowned at it. "It's mascdom," she said.

I let time stretch out, trying to flip the genders. I'd gotten a better handle on it, but it still sometimes required actual thought. That sort of response implied she was interested in being the dominant partner, and wasn't bothered by the concept of incubus hentai.

I definitely preferred the dominant role. If I was being honest, a big part of that was just the element of threat: there was something subtly threatening about a woman who actually had superpowers being on top. I'd been so willing to let May play the dominant role because I had thought she was just a normal, beautiful woman who liked being dominant.

On the other hand, Vanessa came off as bubbly, energetic, and cute - not threatening. Part of that was probably that I didn't know what her power was, but that didn't change the reality. Plus, I'd like to make her first time with me special, so... "I can play the role of sub, if you want," I said.

Immediately, her eyes widened in surprise and delight, a big smile on her lips. "Really?! Thanks, Mr. Cooper!" She cleared her throat. "Um, that doesn't sound right. Roger," she said, trying to make her voice artificially husky. "Come along, Roger," she said, walking to the wrong door - and realizing as much when she opened it and saw it was a storage closet. She flushed a bit, spinning around to the opposite side of the room. "That one's your bedroom, right?"

"Yes," I agreed, opening the door for her. "What do you want me to do, Ms. Theophilus?" I asked.

"Strip," she said, trying to return to more dominant, commanding vibes. I grasped the base of my shirt, enjoying as she stared at me, watching my abs slowly come out into the air. A hot breath escaped her mouth as she stared at my stomach, at my chest - and when I pulled my shirt the rest of the way off, her mouth was half-open, drool accumulating on her lower lip as she stared with undisguised lust. I popped the button on my pants, enjoying the way she jerked slightly yet kept staring, her gaze going down to my groin as I worked my way out of my pants, leaving me wearing just a pair of briefs, my hard-on straining against it. "Wait wait wait," she said, as my fingers caught the waistband of my underwear. She gulped, stepping towards me, her fingers reaching for my pelvis.

She cradled my cock like that, letting out soft breaths as she fondled me through my underwear. She took in several deep breaths through her nostrils, staring down at my dick - and then finally she pulled back. "Okay. Finish stripping."

"Yes, ma'am," I said, with a small nod, peeling my way out of my underwear, and she let out a small whimpering noise of delight as my cock burst out into the open air.

"Your cock is so beautiful, Mister," she said, her voice dripping with sincerity as she briefly forgot all about playing dominant, to instead just reach down and stroke my bare dick. Her soft fingers slid all along my length - and then she restarted her brain enough to do something else. "Lay down on the bed. I'm going to fuck your brains out."

I resisted the urge to snort at that line, dutifully lying down on the bed, my cock pointed up at the ceiling. Vanessa hurriedly stripped herself naked, taking off her top, her bottoms, her panties - really, everything, as fast as she could. It made her tits and ass both jiggle and ripple deliciously, the show lewd and delicious - then she hopped onto my lap, my cock rubbing along the line of her wet sex. She shuddered softly as she ground against my dick for a long few pleasant seconds, hands going down to my stomach as she just enjoyed teasing herself - and me - like that.

"Beg for my pussy, Roger," she told me, her voice husky and her breathing heavy as she ground back and forth along my cock. "Beg for me to fuck you with my tight demon pussy." My cock twitched against her sex, idly slapping her, and she shuddered softly at the sensation, her eyelashes fluttering. "Beg for it, mortal," she breathed out.

"Please, fuck me with your tight demon pussy," I said, my voice slightly strained from the desire to actually get to the sex part of this whole thing - and she grinned, casually pointing my cock at her pussy and then driving herself down my length.

She let out a gasp as she swallowed me up, her eyes unfocusing for a moment as she swallowed up my whole cock. She let out a quiet moan, and forgot all about dominating me to instead just roll her hips around on my cock, rubbing all over her inner walls with my dick. She was psyched up enough that she came within a few rotations, moaning and shivering atop me, her large breasts bouncing delightfully as she came, pink nipples perky and full of desire. I reached up for her breasts, fingers softly sinking into them, and she quivered in response, twitching lightly atop me. I played with her breasts as she came, her nipples scraping against my palms.

"You feel so good," I breathed out, doing my best to play the role of the sub. I ground my hips up into her, making her let out a sharp noise of surprise and pleasure. "Please, keep fucking me, ma'am," I pleaded, and she nodded rapidly, her tongue dancing out past her lips as she relished the sensation of my cock inside her. She started to bounce at that point, her brain restarting, her hands coming down to press against my stomach, making it easier for her to bounce.

She was definitely cute like this - and there was a sudden sharp color to her cheeks, with her pushing down against my palms. The momentary crushing of her breasts between my hands and ribcage ended as I pulled my hands away, and she soon grasped my cheek, pressing her lips against mine with a force and eagerness, tongue diving into my mouth like it was going out of style. She licked along my gums, sending shivers through my body, while softly moaning and panting and grinding atop me, her breasts squished into my chest, nipples like diamonds tracing across bare skin.

She tasted quite nice, and my tongue reciprocated her own frantic movements inside my mouth, licking up at her too. Her hands grasped my hips - and then she started to bounce, pumping her tight cunt up and down my dick.

In this position, my hands were free, and there was nothing to do but touch her. I could grope her ass, feel up her plump thighs, run my hands all the way around to tease her tits, brushing along her nipples... but in the end, one of the most convenient, sensitive spots was the same as always, and my fingertips wound up trailing around her clit, making soft, slithering circles.

Then I decided to make it even better for her, letting time stretch out, my fingertips running along in the strange and intense way that only my power let me. It took only a couple minutes from my point of view to make her come - so from hers, it was more like ten seconds, a wet, heavy moan escaping her throat, spilling out into my mouth. I let time take on its normal course, and she frantically bounced atop me, big tits making fleshy noises against my bare chest as she moved like that, keeping up the kiss despite herself, fingers clasping my cheeks tight as she slurped on my tongue and tried to drink every droplet of spit out of my mouth.

When she was finished coming, she finally broke off the kiss, panting heavily as she leaned up, showing off a gorgeous young naked body, her breasts hanging low. "You want to play with my tits, don't you, Mister?" She asked, a slightly-smug smirk on her lips. "Go ahead. Touch 'em all you want."

I reached up for her breasts, having been given permission, and enjoyed the soft, full feeling of the large things in my hands. I wasn't a pure tit man or anything, but such a large pair was definitely nice, and she started to bounce on my dick, idly flipping her hair over her shoulder as she started to work up her pace again, bouncing up and down in a hypnotic pattern, pink eyes full of smoldering lust. "You're so beautiful, Vanessa," I told her, and her cunt tightened by way of response, making me shiver and jerk.

"That's right I am," she panted out, clearly getting closer to the edge. "Yeah! Take my pussy!" She started to really work her hips on my dick, pounding away, making me grunt, and the intoxicating force of it probably would have pushed me over the edge... if it wasn't for the fact that it also made her come in about a minute, real time, grinding her hips down against my dick as her eyes peeled back, her pussy going wild around my cock. It felt nice, but it also reduced the amount of stimulation I was receiving, letting me just sigh as her slick cunt went crazy around my dick.

When she finally came down, she was panting and a little flush with embarrassment. "Sorry," she grunted. "It's my first time with an older guy... I'm just really excited," she admitted. "Plus you're really hot, and nng, I love being on top, and having you feeling me up," she told me, her voice dripping with genuine arousal. "Let's get your orgasm milked out of you, though," she noted, starting to bounce on my cock all over again, letting me feel up her tits as she rode me like a wild woman.

I didn't try to hold back - but Vanessa was clearly on a bit of a hair trigger as she bounced up and down. Heavy, wet breaths spilled out of her mouth, while her pussy squelched excitedly on my dick. She'd orgasm every minute or two, interrupting her rhythm, leaving her just grinding against me, and it kept me from quite arriving at the point of orgasming myself.

Eventually - after probably twenty minutes and at least ten orgasms on her part - she managed to drag me over the edge without coming herself, letting out a sigh of relief as she felt me start to come. Each squirt of hot spunk inside her pussy made her shiver and close her eyes, drinking in deep breaths through her nostrils, grinding down against my pelvis as she casually licked her lips. When I was utterly spent inside her, she finally let out a sigh of relief, popping off my cock altogether.

I was still hard, though. She bit her lip, contemplating my dick like that, one hand reaching down to stroke it as she thought things through. "Mm... it's a really nice big dick," she told me. "Older guys really do take longer to come, huh?" She asked, and I nodded. "I kinda thought that was porno BS. You know, an excuse for the video to last two hours or whatever." My dick twitched a little at those words, and she giggled. "I don't want to actually do it for two hours! Unless you can...? Mm..." She thought about it. "We can at least do one more round," she declared, getting atop my cock and starting to bounce all over again, losing herself in the moment.

* * *

In the end, we went three rounds before Vanessa's legs seemed to turn to jelly. She laid across my body, her full breasts squished into my chest, sweat coating her skin, her chest heaving with the exertion of it. No wonder - she'd been fucking me for a solid hour, and had orgasmed at least thirty times, by my count. I casually pet her, which was a little awkward, with her horns. "Nnm," she mumbled. "That was super nice. Older guys are the best," she told me, wiggling against my chest, rubbing her tits against me in the process. My cock twitched inside her at those words, and she giggled as she felt it. "I can't keep going, Mr. Cooper."

"Please, call me Roger."

"Roger. My legs are all donezo bouncing on you for today. I may not even be able to walk out of your apartment."

"You can stay the night if you need to," I told her. I continued to casually caress her. "Hope this was a nice birthday present for you. I hear we're going to be coworkers soon."

"Oooh, yeah," she agreed, eyelashes fluttering softly, as she gave me a little kiss on the neck. "This was the best sex of my life. Only thing - ah, forget it," she said, suddenly ducking her head.

"It's okay. You can tell me," I told her. "I've had sex with a lot of women, I know girls have different tastes." Wow. I really did sound like the sexy older woman guiding her younger boyfriend into sex.

"It's dumb," Vanessa said, biting her lip. "But, um. I'm really into mind control stuff."

"Mind control stuff?" I prompted. I'd actually done 'mind control' with Mira, but I was pretty sure that Vanessa meant...

"As in, the girl mind controls the guy into being her love slave. I don't know. It's not even the mind control - well, it kinda is. It's the personality that the guy ends up with? Like, he has to do whatever she wants, she can be lazy and a jerk, and he's still stuck in love with her. Ugh. It sounds like some lame incel fantasy."

"It doesn't. I understand completely," I told her. "Do you want to do that?"

Her eyes momentarily widened - then she nodded quickly. She actually got off me, a little wobbly, and grabbed her pants, pulling out her smartphone and hurriedly raising it to point it at my face - it was set to the emergency screen. "I'm gonna pretend to be hypnotizing you, you know the smartphone scenario, right?"

"I do," I told her with a warm smile - and she rapidly clicked back and forth from the emergency screen to her lock screen, making the screen flicker between near-white and near-black as she pointed it at me. I pretended to go slack-jawed and hypnotized, staring dully at the screen.

She gulped, and I could see the flush of her cheeks out of the corner of my eyes. It was obviously embarrassing to enact this fantasy - but on the other hand, she'd just gotten permission from a hot older guy. "You are completely, head over heels in love with me. You would do anything to become and stay my boyfriend. You love sex with me - it's the best sex of your life, better than any other woman. Anything weird or humiliating I suggest, you don't find weird or humiliating at all, but fun and sexy." She swallowed, then put down the phone, and I blinked as I pretended to come out of it. She hesitated for several long seconds - and I decided to stand up, just picking her up and laying her down on the bed.

"You seem tired, dearest-"

"Call me 'my lady,'" she commanded.

"You seem tired, my lady," I went on, like it hadn't been anything worth commenting on. She faintly wriggled on the bed, obviously excited. "If you want to keep going, I can be on top. You can tell me exactly what you want out of me."

"Yess... you should do all the work," she agreed immediately. "Fuck me good - focus only on my pleasure. Only my pleasure matters, got it? Your pleasure doesn't matter at all." Her breathing was becoming shallow as she rapidly enacted the most extreme form of her fantasy.

"As you wish, my lady," I agreed, clambering atop her, pointing my cock at her slick sex and driving my length slowly inside her. She shivered at the sensation, clearly already at a high bar of arousal. I let one hand slide along her thighs, thumb teasing at her clit. "I can make you come very quickly," I told her, my cock twitching faintly inside her as I contemplated her form, the strange dominance/submission of this position...

"Do it. Your orgasms don't matter, so it's no problem if I'm a quickshot," she explained, probably a bit too quick to explain it - but I got to work, using my powers the way I always did when I went all out.

Time stretched out. My thumb brushed against her clit, my hips (from my point of view) gently rooting around deep inside her, finding just the right angles. My other hand reached out for her breast. From my point of view, it took less than a minute before she came, which meant that for her, she pretty much instantly came, moaning and thrashing on my dick, her big tits bouncing around. I let time resume its normal pace as I enjoyed the sight of her like that, the way she trembled on my cock, cheeks glowing and eyes smoldering with lust - and when her orgasm finished, I let time stretch out again, bringing her to another quick orgasm.

The only real problem with using my superspeed like that, was that I couldn't tell what she was saying when she talked - so I compensated by not giving her the chance to speak. After getting into the groove, I was making her orgasm constantly, her body spasming in slow motion from my point of view. I leaned down over her, kissing across bare flesh at an accelerated pace, sucking one nipple into my mouth, teasing it with my tongue. Her legs kicked at the air as pleasure raced through her body, her whole being trembling in pure bliss beneath my touch, and it was so fun it was easy to forget that I was supposed to be her mind controlled sex slave.

Still, after a good dozen orgasms, many of which ran back-to-back, I decided to let time resume so she could gather her wits. Her breathing was heavy and desperate as she looked up at me, her eyes slightly unfocused in the afterglow of pleasure. "It- it doesn't bother you, that I came a bunch, and you didn't." She told me more than asked.

"Of course not, my lady," I told her. "Only your pleasure matters." I felt her pussy tighten around my cock in response to those words, and I started to pump my hips against hers once again, this time slower, just rocking away. It produced a really nice view, with her large, soft tits bouncing with every thrust.

"My tits are the best - in fact, they're the only tits you're interested in. Other tits are just ugly."

"Yes," I agreed immediately. "How could I possibly be attracted to any other pair of breasts, after seeing these perfect ones?" She actually came at that point, despite the fact that I wasn't doing much more in between her legs, moaning and clawing at the bed beneath her. I leaned down over her, pushing her breasts together, her hard nipples rubbing at one another and my lips sucking them into my mouth. She pumped her hips up into mine as she mewled in pure bliss, eyelashes fluttering.

I grunted around her breasts, continuing to suck and lick and nibble at her perky nipples, while she just trembled and jerked beneath me. Hot, wet breaths that spilled out, her hand eventually reaching up for the back of my head, holding me against her in a delirious state of arousal. She was pretty much trying to mash my head into her tits, to smother me in them, and I let her, enjoying the soft feeling of them on either side of my head as they pushed against my cheeks from either side.

"Good boy, that's my- nng, that's my breeder, yes, you're just a fucking breeder, you don't deserve human rights, you're my plaything, a plaything for my cunt," she said, delirious enough with pleasure that it broke past any sense about what sort of things were appropriate to say during sex. "Say it! Say you don't deserve human rights, that you should be my property!"

Seeing her so desperate to get me to say something so ridiculous was definitely getting me hard. There was a momentary pang of concern - something left over from Fals - but I let time stretch out to actually think it through, her hands nearly frozen holding me in her bosom. I was still sexually attracted to breasts that weren't Vanessa's. She hadn't asked me to promise to become her property - only to say that I 'should' be her property. I suddenly wished that I had Xico here, to confirm it was safe...

I pulled out of her breasts at normal speed. "Yes. I don't deserve human rights. I should be your property." She exploded in orgasmic bliss, hands clawing frantically at the back of my head, trying to smother me in her tits again. Her eyeballs were rolling around in their sockets, there wasn't the faintest sense of self control, and luckily, it appeared that she was not trying to trick me into becoming her slave because she just quivered in pleasure and my thoughts remained totally normal and unremarkable.

I pumped inside her at that point, just rutting away, abusing my power to drive her up the wall with pleasure. Her dirty talk had... somewhat damaged the mood for me. I understood it wasn't on purpose, but it meant I wanted to just leave her unable to talk so I didn't have to wonder if she was about to mind control me into becoming her love slave.

She moaned, thrashed, panted, and came and came, just orgasming in a brutal, continuous sequence as her eyes peeled back. When she occasionally spoke, I couldn't understand it, because I didn't slow down, and it was mostly monosyllabic anyway. I'd nod whenever I thought she said something more coherent, and she'd respond by coming hard on my cock all over again.

Eventually - after quite a while - I came inside her, groaning as I painted her insides white. When I was spent, I sighed and pulled out, plopping onto the bed next to her. She just remained where she was, having been fucked positively senseless.

After several minutes, though, she rolled over, cuddling into me. "That was amazing, Roger," she breathed. "Thank you sooo much. That was the best sex of my life, thanks for going along with it, I know it's weird."

I patted her head gently. I had to be careful to avoid her horns. "Just... what's your power?"

"Oh! I'm a mage in training," she told me. She must have felt me stiffen, because she continued. "What's wrong, Roger?"

"It's just..." I felt bad, because this was clearly her fantasy, and in a very real way, she had been vulnerable to expose herself by saying it. "Nothing we said has any magic power, right?"

"No, no!" She agreed instantly. Her eyes widened. "Oh fuck, oh no, ohmigosh I'm such a bad person, fuck, fuck, you're the guy who got raped by the Erlqueen, aren't you?" She started to tear up. "I'm sorry, I should've - oh, I'm such a bad person."

"It's fine, it's fine," I told her, which didn't help much, so I decided to try a different tack. I grabbed her horn, twisting her head slightly so she had to look at my face. "It's okay. You didn't force me to do anything. I'm not a delicate little flower. For about five seconds in there, I had an annoying thought about one of the things you said."

"Which one? I'll never say it again! U-uhm, assuming we can have sex again."

"It wasn't about saying the thing, it was just - none of the dirty talk had magic power, right?"

"Right!" She nodded rapidly. "You can't just make somebody say something as, like, a play and have it count for magic! That would be crazy! Every actor would have been turned into a demon's slave and the whole medium would have ended before it could even really start! Plus, obviously, I'm not evil and wouldn't try to actually turn you into my love slave! Agh, I'm so bad..."

"You aren't bad," I told her. "It's my problem, not yours. And honestly, you being so upset about it is making me much more upset than the actual thing - I don't want to ruin your kink with my baggage."

"No, no, this stuff is... yeah... okay..." She hesitated. "Thank you for telling me. That was the best sex of my life. I-it was at least a little good for you, right? Even after the... whatever?"

"I got to watch a barely legal cutie with huge tits come her brains out, so yes," I told her, and she let out a sigh of relief. "It was very nice. We can do it again some time."

"Yes!" She snuggled into me tight. "Thank you sooo much. I really was just saying stuff. I don't believe that, like, men shouldn't have rights or whatever."

"I know. It's okay." I patted her head. "Now, I kind of want to take a nap, so can you be quiet?"

"Yes, sir!" She said, snuggling into me even tighter, glomping onto me hard. Her horn brushed at my chest, and I went to sleep like that.

Next Chapter

High School DxD: ERO!, Chapter 22: An Obvious Trap
Previous Chapter
Yuuto groaned as he stretched, feeling the crick in his back. Ms. Yamada always wanted him to stay way too long, and he'd been bent over her for... what... a solid hour? You'd think that being a devil would get rid of these kinds of minor aches and pains, but no. They lingered unpleasantly even as he walked home.

He understood that her job at the legal firm was stressful, and he was how she destressed... but really, did she need the massage to last an entire hour?

The pay was good, at least. He contemplated getting Irina something with the money, but it felt strangely dirty, somehow, buying his girlfriend a present with another woman's money.

Issei's stupid talk about "G-rated prostitution" must have gotten to him.

He was suddenly interrupted by a flash of steel which sliced mere inches from his face. It would have cut him in half if he hadn't instinctively dodged backwards, and he instantly activated his Sacred Gear, drawing forth Holy Eraser even before he'd managed to identify his opponent.

The man was about his age, with short white hair and vivid red eyes, currently looking totally deranged as he wheeled on Yuuto, a mad grin creasing his lips. "Oops, just missed," he said, tongue stretching across his lips, licking them like he enjoyed.

"Who the hell are you?" Yuuto asked, even as he increased the distance between himself and the other man.

"Mm, just a stray exorcist, looking to take down a devil," he said, a gleaming white smile stretching across his face, before he dashed forward again.

He moved fast, his blade snapping out in a half-dozen ways, forcing Yuuto onto the defensive. Every bit of his instincts were thrown into keeping himself in the fight at all - not in even trying to win. A strike from the three o'clock had to be countered with a parry. He tried to use his Sacred Gear, summoning a blade, point first, from the nearby wall, aiming to slice into the man's face. He just ducked, dodged, and moved, simultaneously making strikes with his sword that still managed to keep Yuuto on the defensive, pushing him back against the wall.

The ground sliced up towards the man. Instead of dodging, he leapt into the air, landing atop the blade for a moment - and then raised a powerful kick against Yuuto's face before he even realized it was coming, his head swimming. "Ha, nice trick, but you need to practice fighting people who can actually fight back," the man said, giving another two sword strikes that Yuuto had to parry with a swimming, throbbing skull - and the third was the one that actually hit, colliding with the side of Yuuto's face with a powerful thump, the flat of the blade impacting his face and sending him to the ground.

* * *

My phone started going off, and I groaned as I shifted on the bed. Which of my girlfriends was calling me in the middle of the night?! If it was Xenovia again, I'd forgive her, but-! Actually, I'd forgive any of my girlfriends, but that doesn't mean they should do it, right? Forgiveness means it's bad in the first place! I gingerly lifted Akeno's cheek off my thigh, my other hand softly peeling Rias away from my chest. I'd fucked them both into a coma, it looked like, because they were totally ignoring the ringing of my phone.

Sex with the two of them was really fun... hm... I wonder if they'd like sex where I fuck them while they're asleep? Akeno seems like she might like that, but I should get consent when she's conscious.

Caller ID on my phone revealed that it was Yuuto calling me! What the heck?! He's not even one of my girlfriends! What's he doing calling me at... two thirty AM?!? Yuuto, you better have a good reason for this!

"Yuuto?" I asked, my voice coming off as more annoyed than I meant it to.

"Hahaha," came a male voice that was not Yuuto, and presumably wasn't one of his clients either! (Being a G-rated prostitute, all of Yuuto's clients were women!) "No, I'm afraid that Yuuto's a little... indisposed right now."

"What, is he taking a dump?" I asked.

"Wha- no." The man cleared his throat. "No, Issei Hyoudou. I'm afraid that your dear friend Yuuto just got beaten unconscious and is currently lying on the cold stone floor." I don't know how else to put it, but he was doing the 'evil bad guy' voice. "If you want him to wake back up, then listen carefully: come alone, to the abandoned church. If anyone other than you shows up, then Yuuto will die."

"Wait. Why do you care about me?"

"What do you mean, why do I care about you?"

"You know. I mean, I'm just a guy! Wait, are you with the Phenex clan?" That would make sense, coming after me for humiliating their heir!

"No! Consorting with devils? Me? I'd never do something like that. You probably do it all the time, though."

"Um." I did! I just got done consorting with a couple devils, and they were starting to wake up due to the talking! I tried lowering my voice, but Rias and Akeno were clearly trying to listen in on the conversation. I just raised a finger to make sure they stayed quiet. "But then why are you coming after me?"

"I... I just am, okay? Look, uhh..."

"Oh no." A sudden thought hit me, and my stomach dropped. "Did I accidentally NTR you?! Wait, when I say that, I want to be clear, even if you were childhood friends with one of my girlfriends, that doesn't mean she belongs to you! She's allowed to make her own decisions, no matter how deep your feelings for her are!" I know that's easy for me to say, as a guy with eight girlfriends, but it's the truth! "But, if you were actually in a relationship, I don't try to steal girls who are in relationships!"

"No! It's not that! Look, just get over here, alone, or Yuuto dies!"

This guy didn't sound super put together or competent... "Do you really have Yuuto?"

"I have his phone, don't I?"

"I mean, you could have stolen his phone," I pointed out.

"Guh." The man sighed. I heard a thump, and a low groan. "There! That was Yuuto groaning from me kicking him in the stomach."

"It really could have been anyone... just have him talk in the phone!"

"Fine, whatever," he bit out, sounding incredibly annoyed. "Yuuto. Your friend wants you to tell him that it's really you."

"He's a really good swordsman!" Yuuto's voice came through the phone, and was followed by another thump and groan.

"There. Happy?" Obviously, I wasn't happy! You were kicking my friend! "Come to the abandoned church, alone, or Yuuto dies."

"Don't worry about me, Issei-!" Was as far as Yuuto got before the phone cut off.

I understood Yuuto's words. He didn't want me to get in trouble for his sake. He was a selfless friend like that. But, if our positions had been reversed, I would probably say the same thing - and I know Yuuto would ignore it! So it was my duty as his friend to ignore it too! I had to go throw myself into senseless danger on behalf of Yuuto!

"Issei, what was that about?" Rias asked.

"I think I heard Yuuto on the phone?" Akeno added.

I explained the situation to the pair of them - and asked Rias for her help in saving Yuuto.

* * *

Freed fiddled around with Yuuto's phone, while the boy himself laid on the ground, grunting and glaring, his body still bound up. "Oh, you have a girlfriend," he said. "Let's see, sexts, sexts... what?" Searching for words like tits, cock, dick, didn't find anything. "You never sexted with your girlfriend? When she's that hot? What sort of devil are you?"

Yuuto had no answer for that. He just glared. Freed sighed, considering just killing Yuuto now. After all, what could the harm be? Issei was already coming, wasn't he?

But... Kokabiel had a very particular plan for all this, and it didn't involve him killing Yuuto just yet. After all, it was always possible that they would figure out Yuuto was dead, and then Issei wouldn't walk into the church to get himself killed.

So, instead, Freed decided to play some Match-3 games on the phone as he awaited Issei's arrival. It wasn't like he was seriously worried, after all.

He was having a good run, but was nowhere close to beating Yuuto's (ridiculous) high score on Match-3 - probably the loser had hacked the RNG to get such a score - when Issei called out. "Yuuto!"

"Issei, he's over here!" This Yuuto kid was really a pain in the ass. Freed rose from the pew, sword at his side, dropping Yuuto's phone to the ground like a candy wrapper. He didn't even bother to give the guy a kick as he quickly moved away. "He went behind the pulpit!"

"Got it!" Issei said - and then there were the sounds of about one million thunderclaps resounding through the church. It was the loudest thing he'd ever heard, and as he glanced up - there was a secret staircase behind the pulpit, which was where he'd run - he could see the shattered remnants of the pulpit spraying out, bits of wood clattering down after him. What the hell kind of magic was that?!

He decided to cut his losses and run. No sense getting killed.

* * *

The heavy machine gun was warm in my hands as it wound down, the barrel still spinning with ambient energy. Wow! Guns are loud! They don't really make that clear in the movies! The pulpit had been pulped into nothing, but there wasn't any sign of blood or gore, which was good for my conscience, but bad for Yuuto's safety. "I don't think I hit him," I called out.

"Huh?" Right, it was so loud, he was probably temporarily deafened.


"I said, I don't think I hit him!" I yelled it louder the second time. "There's not any blood or gore or anything!"

"I think there's a staircase behind the pulpit," Yuuto called back, very loudly. I nodded, stepping towards the pulpit slowly, my finger ready on the trigger of the rifle. There was a staircase back there, but the guy was nowhere in sight as I peered down into it. Shoot, I should've wished for a flashlight too. Didn't people in video games put flashlights on their guns?

"Well, well, well, if it isn't Issei Hyoudou," came a voice from behind me, and I whipped around. The man was tall and pale, with long black hair and narrow, blood red eyes. "I am Kokabiel," he said, without any signal whatsoever. "I know you came here alone, boy. That gun won't help you. This is the end for you."

There are two meanings to a line like that: one, they're telling the truth and the mook shoots at Superman fruitlessly; or two, they're set up for an ironic comeuppance when their arrogance turns out to be misplaced! Since this was a magic gun made with Rias's help and boosted by the fact that I was super strong so it could be super heavy, there was a strong possibility this was case two! I aimed at Kokabiel and just held the trigger down, the firearm roaring, trying to kick up into the air as I held it down on him.

Unfortunately, it seemed like this was situation one, because his smile never left his lips. When I stopped firing, he stood there, looking extremely evil. "I like my enemies to know why they're about to die. This is for your efforts to tear apart my organization," he explained.

"What?" I asked. I was just confused. "Your organization?"

He just glared at me. "Come. You know perfectly well." I just shook my head. "What, do you have so many organizations you're working to suborn that you don't know to which one I refer? I suppose that you have your fat fingers in the Gremory clan, what with having your fat cock in the Gremory girl."


"Hey!" That's true, but that doesn't mean you can say it! "Rias is a sweet young lady, and I love her!" He just let out a dark chuckle at that. "Who are you with, huh? The Phenex clan?!"

"No, I'm not with the Phenex clan, boy." Man. He was just knocking it out of the park on the cliched villain lines, huh? "You seduced Raynare away from me."

"Um." Was that his wife? I didn't know how to say it, so I'd just say it: "I'm not having sex with anybody named Raynare?"

He snorted at that. "Yes, yes, lie all you like-"

"No, I mean, I really don't know anybody named Raynare? I have eight girlfriends, and then, um, I went on one date with Uroko, she's a naga, but we didn't actually have sex, and I have sex with some of Kiyome's friends, and also with Yuma's sisters, but none of them are named Raynare..."

"Tch. Such lies." The man just produced his phone, quickly calling someone. Since my gun hadn't worked, I decided to let him do it. "Raynare. Issei is about to be taken off the game board. Do you have any comments?" He put the phone on speaker.

"Issei?! Issei isn't a threat, my lord! Please, don't hurt him, he's actually a benefit to our side, don't-!" The man hung up at that point, a sadistic smile on his lips.

I recognized that voice... it was Yuma's! I was pretty sure her family name wasn't Raynare! What the hell was going on here?! No- that didn't matter right now! Right now, I had to deal with this guy! I decided to try shooting at him some more!

The man dropped the phone at that point, and I took a couple shots at it, making him scream. "Argh, my contacts list!" He screamed out, hurriedly rushing down to shield the phone. I took the chance to run over to Yuuto, cutting him out of his bindings with a knife I'd brought along, just in case.

"We need to run," I told Yuuto, who scrambled to his feet right alongside me. Kokabiel was apparently distracted with his phone, because we actually managed to get there, yanking the door open to escape - and then slamming into a blue wall of force. Yuuto quickly made a sword come out of nowhere and tried to jam it through the force field, but it didn't do anything, making a sound like a lightsaber as it tried and failed to cut through the material.

Kokabiel chuckled. "You thought you could escape me, fool?" Seriously! This guy just was just saying every cliched villain line, when was he going to get his comeuppance already?! "Of course, before I entered, I ensured that there was a containment field, so that you would have no chance to escape, so that I could enjoy this."

"Aha, but I actually prepared for this too, you see," I lied through my teeth, which actually made him pause! Fuck! I wish I'd actually prepared for this possibility-! Rias, Akeno, you were flying around outside, right? Right?! You didn't just let me charge into danger blindly, you kept it a secret that you were following me from a distance, so that our enemies wouldn't know about it! So-! Showing up now would be nice!

They didn't show up.

Kokabiel laughed after a few seconds of staring me down. "What an amusing bluff, boy," he said, raising his hand into the air, a blade of pure light materializing in his hand. "But I'm afraid that such bluffs are no good any longer."

Yuuto stood between us at that point, his own magic sword interposed between us! "Issei, keep trying to break through that field," he said. "Let's dance, Kokabiel," he said, a smile on his lips.

I tried shooting at the force field with my gun, just unloading the entire magazine - but it didn't work.

I turned around at that point, and Yuuto and Kokabiel were currently locked in battle against each other, distracted by the clash of their swords. Apparently, Yuuto's sword was a pretty good counter to Kokabiel's, since every time their blades clashed, Kokabiel's would disappear - but also, Kokabiel was clearly a much better fighter than him, because that didn't result in Kokabiel getting his head lopped off.

I hadn't only brought a gun, though! I'd also had Rias give me a special defense, and now was the time to use it. I was, fortunately, a pro-level tennis player by this point, and I removed a pen and a marble, which then transformed into a tennis racket and a tennis ball - then I hit the tennis ball right at Kokabiel's blade as he swung it through the air. Just as it arrived, it suddenly transformed into a giant mirror, and Kokabiel struck it with his sword.

He let out a noise of surprise as the attack ricocheted right into his face, and Yuuto quickly moved to stab him. For a moment, I thought we were victorious, but Kokabiel managed to dodge out of the way of the strike. "Tch," he said - then lunged forward, grabbing Yuuto's wrist, yanking him up into the air inside the Church by it. Leaving him without any surface to make more blades from, that bastard!

I had another marble to turn into a tennis ball, though! I quickly drew it up, and hurled it up at him - and when it hit his head, it exploded like a hand grenade went off, mostly because it was a hand grenade!

Unfortunately, that didn't work either! Kokabiel just glared at me. "What an annoying child you are," he sneered - then hurled Yuuto towards a wall before dive bombing towards me, blade drawn. I turned to run, but his sword slammed into my arm, pain lacing up as I was pinned to the ground on my back. "There we go," he said, casually standing up, leaving me pinned by a giant sword of light, which actively felt like it was searing flesh. "Much better." He idly wiped off his shoulders. "Yes, I let myself get distracted by sparring with the boy."

I was in enough pain to have lost most of my sunny disposition. "Holy shit, you are such a fucking cliche," I said, interrupting his monologue.

"What-" He shook his head. "You're trying to distract me."

"Seriously! You might as well just be a chatbot given the prompt 'Act like the most sneeringly evil villain you can think of!'" It appeared to be working as a distraction, which would give Rias and Akeno time to break through the force field and save me! "I mean, you keep calling us 'boy,' and 'child,' you say 'pukuku, nothing like that can defeat me-'"

"I do not laugh like that," he countered.

"You get all huffy when people make fun of you, you trap us in here so you can toy with us, come on bad guys like you exist to get jobbed," I explained.

"This is real life, not an children's cartoon, child," he told me.

"You're doing it right now!" It's crazy to say it, but honestly, the thing that made me most upset was the thought that I was gonna get killed by a loser like this! "You know what? Just monologue about your evil plan for an hour, I don't even care any more."

"Fine. My evil plan is to kill you, thereby ridding me of your malign influence on devil politics, and my own subordinates. That didn't take an hour," he added, with some smugness.

"Oh yeah. Why'd you call Yuma 'Raynare'?" I asked, suddenly remembering that whole interaction.

"Yuma? Oh," he said, rolling his eyes. "You suborned Raynare to your side, playing on her feminine weaknesses... but you knew that already, and are just feigning ignorance."

"I didn't know that! I still don't! What are you talking abou-!"

I was cut off by the front door of the chapel just about exploding in a massive cloud of dust.

As the dust cleared, there stood an older woman wearing a labcoat and a sleek, extremely tight, extremely form-fitting dress that showed off her very large and plump tits. Her hair was blonde up front, and dark in the back, with violet eyes that flicked to Kokabiel.

Standing at her side was... a girl who looked kind of like Yuma, except older? And she had giant feathered wings? And a very sexy BDSM-style outfit, too. Was Yuma's mom a slutty angel?! I suddenly hoped her weird siscon thing also applied to her mom! (I would confirm first, though!)

"Kokabiel," the labcoat-wearing woman said. "This nonsense has gone on long enough. Stop, now, or die."

"Who the hell are you?" Kokabiel demanded. "And Raynare, your treachery is no-"

That was as far into yet another standard villain monologue as Kokabiel got before the lady summoned dozens of spears of pure light, which promptly all slammed into Kokabiel, turning him into a pincushion.

Raynare (?) let out a gasp. "Amazing, Azazel-sama! You're so strong and amazing, I'm so lucky to be able to see the new you in action, I could just squeal in delight, my Lord!" She sounded exactly like Yuma. Wow. Yuma sounded just like her mom. Yep. That was... wait, that didn't sound right... hang on a second... "Oh no! Issei-kun!" She hurriedly rushed forward to my side. "No, Issei-kun, are you okay?" Her fingers gently poked at the area around my arm where I'd been pinned to the ground.

"Um, thank you, ma'am, but... do we know each other?"

"Ah, sorry, Issei-kun, I'm a Fallen Angel, I should have told you but I thought you'd hate me," her lower lip quivered in worry as she looked down at me. I still didn't quite understand, to be honest!

"So this is Issei, huh?" Azazel said, approaching me. She looked at my arm for a moment. "It's just a flesh wound. He's still human, so it's not as serious as it would be if he was a devil," she explained casually, flicking her really long hair around.

"Wait- Yuuto!" I called out. There was a groan from elsewhere in the chapel, reassuring me that Yuuto was still alive, and I let out a small sigh of relief.

Then my body decided to pass out from blood loss.

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