Extra: Superheroine-Seducing Accountant 16.5
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People tend to mismanage their money because, once you gain an actual influx of money, you switch from starvation mode to plenty mode - even though you're actually only a thin margin away from starvation. It takes an active, conscious effort of will to avoid spending money when one begins to get it in increasing quantities, and the natural tendency of most people is to consume as much as they gain.

I am not like most people. Despite the fact that my current paycheck had more zeroes on it than any I had previously gotten, I simply put it in my bank account and my investment portfolio, to start accruing value. I continued to live a similar lifestyle to the one I'd had at my previous job, and enjoyed watching the number go up.

I'd now been working for two months, and had enough to actually start buying things - so naturally, I decided to head down to the mall to take a look around for anything that interested in me. Nora followed me, in accordance with her decision to constantly follow me and offer whatever assistance I required. The mall itself was the sort where each shop clustered together, often being in the same building, but the space between them - pedestrian only, unless you liked going to prison - was open to the sky.

I had stopped in a traditional game shop - the kind of place with comic books, RPG books, trading cards, and miniatures for stupidly expensive war games - when there was a thunderous noise from outside. I casually raised my head to glance out the glass doors, and there wasn't any sign of bad weather. Nora's gaze remained locked on the door curiously long, and I decided to go out there to take a look at the open sky.



Instead of thunderclouds on the horizon, there was a motley group of what looked to be historical reenactors, riding around on horses that were quite exotically colored. The only problem with presuming these were merely creative cosplayers was that this was a superhero universe and there were people screaming. Nora interposed herself between me and them, as their black-clad leader strode towards us, riding a horse with a black coat, white mane, and crimson eyes, which seemed to exude a malice all its own as she approached.

"Please run away, Roger, as I will be fine to delay her, and there is already help on the way."

Nora had plenty of bodies, and didn't consider dying to be a serious issue. The streets had quickly cleared of people, now taking shelter inside various shops, and the other members of her group had not successfully captured anyone. Further, my job was not to get into fights, and I wasn't any good at it. As such, I followed her advice and began to flee, even drawing on my superhuman speed to run away.

If you've spent long enough learning to think of yourself as faster than everything around, there's certainly a surprise when thundering hoofsteps seem to be gaining on you - all the more when the person they're coming from is carrying your date (?) in one clawed hand, her gauntlet wrapped around Nora's throat. In my perception, I could see the way she was gripping Nora's throat, slowly choking her out while Nora kicked and struggled in slow motion.

I could have tried to rely on my superior maneuverability to evade the woman in question, but I wasn't sure it would work - and knowing that Nora was being choked to death was hardly helping my state of mind. I decided to slow to meet our attacker, the fully-armored figure betraying nothing as she slowed down, a long lance that looked way too big and unwieldy to actually use, but presumably was magical or technological or some other such nonsense. "This is your bride, then?" She asked, her voice having an eerie echo to it. "I admire your swiftness - few can keep up with Morvarc'h. Come with me and become my groom, and I'll spare this girl."

Nora made some vague motion that suggested a very strong, Don't do that. "Let her go first, and I'll go with you," I said. I had a wonderful ability called 'lying,' and I was probably strong enough to lift Nora.

"Swift of foot and decisive as well. I like that in a man," she said, simply tossing Nora to one side - and I rushed to grab her midair. She didn't interpret my action as an actual attempt to escape for almost an entire second, misinterpreting it just as an attempt to protect my lover from physical harm by stopping her from scraping across the floor. By the time that she realized I was running away, I was well behind her, and she had to bring her steed around as I kept on running, Nora carried in my arms, a very light pink note to her cheeks as she stared up at me.

The laugh of our chaser was like a chorus, and I tried to leverage my superior maneuverability, slipping into tight spaces, making hard turns whenever possible, and while it slowed her approach, it was hardly enough to keep her away. "Ah, I like a man with spirit - I can't wait to break it," she called out behind me, and then there was a feeling in the air like a sudden chill. A moment later, a force impacted my back, and I did my best to stumble forward, leaning down so the force mostly just scraped away the entire back of my shirt. It was blunt rather than cutting, so it didn't do much physical damage other than leave an aching pain in its wake that probably would have left a bruise if my super-metabolism didn't make that nigh-impossible.

"Good dodge. Now try dodging this," she said, and the next blast of whatever it was hit my legs instead, sending me careening to the ground. I probably would have had horrific friction burns if it wasn't for my power, and I barely managed to protect Nora from doing so by simply shielding her with my body as I skidded across the ground.

I practically threw Nora into the nearest building, and then rose to my feet - which made what tattered remains of my shirt had clung to me by mere inertia tumble off to the ground. The black knight stared down at me in silence for a couple seconds, and I realized that my pants were in dire shape as well, torn in a dozen different places, leaving me half-naked. Out of my peripheral vision, I saw Nora recover from the throw, and then simply stare blankly at me.

There was something like a growl that left the knight's throat, rapacious in its intent, and I definitely did not want to be kidnapped to become her groom, whatever that entailed. I could practically see the grin on her face - just from the way her posture shifted, leaning forward, ready to chew and eat her fill.

Then there was a wham as Perihelion impacted her at full force, sending the rider and steed reeling backwards - but not actually separating them, nor knocking either of them over. "Go home, Erlqueen," she said, in a snarl, standing between me and the knight.

Another chorus-laugh from the 'Erlqueen', who simply circled Kate with a casual contempt. Kate stood firm, repositioning herself slowly, but the way the pair interacted made it clear that they both knew each other, and were near-peers. If I had to take a guess, I would have thrown it to Erlqueen in terms of strength, based on how they maneuvered, but it was a close match.

Then there was an eruption of gunfire, and the Erlqueen was forced backwards as a drone unloaded on her, drawing up a shield of inky black energy to protect her. The drone itself was a fairly large thing, about as big as a person, floating in midair, and there came a digitized voice recognizable as Mira. "The time when you could get away with kidnapping guys from our world is long gone, Erlqueen. Now, you can either submit to lawful authority, or we can see if a high-caliber round hand-engraved by a sorceress can actually do something to you." There was a brief silence. "Oh, wow, Roger," she said, in a voice of genuine surprise.

That made Kate turn around to actually take note of me, and immediately her cheeks flushed as she took in my body. It was a fraction of a second's distraction, but it was enough - Erlqueen cut at the air with her lance, creating what looked like a portal to some kind of thick forest, and rushed into it as the first bullets began to impact the ground around her, the portal vanishing before Perihelion could get through it.

For a moment, Kate simply stood in the empty space where Erlqueen had once been. Then she came back to me. "You're not injured, are you?" She asked, using the question as an excuse to inspect my half-naked body with obvious lust.

"Not seriously. Nora might be, though."

Kate nodded seriously, turning her gaze in the direction I indicated, floating over to Nora, who was currently... still staring at me. Just, completely without the slightest inhibitions about it whatsoever. Even now that I was looking back at her, she didn't meet my eyes, or stop, or show any response whatsoever to the fact that I'd caught her looking. "Are you alright, Nora?"

"I am enjoying looking at Roger," Nora replied, her eyes finally running up to meet my own - then shamelessly departing downwards once more. "This body is not meaningfully injured. The other members of her party have already gone back to Arcadia, fortunately with no victims of their own. Therefore, there is no reason for me to stop looking at Roger."

Kate pressed her tongue against her cheek, sparing a glance back my way. She gave me a look that said she really wanted to do what Nora was doing, but instead she flew off, presumably to check on the injured elsewhere.

A drone - not the same one that had been shooting at Erlqueen - floated down towards me. "Sorry about this, Roger. Here," it said in a digitized version of Mira's voice, before cracking open and depositing a thick black cloak directly into my hands. "So you're not so naked."

I could catch Nora's very tiny pout as I wrapped myself in the black cloak. "Let's go back home," I said. I wasn't in the mood to go shopping any more at the moment, and also wasn't dressed properly to do so anyway, what with me being in ruined clothing and a loose cloak. By the look on Nora's face, she was also interested in things other than shopping right now. Namely, fucking my brains out.

She actually suggested some roleplay of her own, when we got back home. "We could pretend that you have valiantly rescued me from an evil villainess who was going to kill me, and now we are making love to one another in the aftermath of a thrilling battle."

"Isn't that basically what literally just happened?" I replied, a bit confused.

"No. You stupidly rescued this body from an evil villainess who was going to mildly inconvenience me by forcing me to produce another body, which is much less sexy, but we can 'make believe' that I do not have a power that makes dying a mild inconvenience, meaning that your decision to risk your life was very short-sighted and stupid. If we do this, then you did something smart instead, as that would be very sexy. The stupid version was also sexy," she clarified, after a second, "but intelligence is attractive and therefore it is more sexy if you were not stupid."

"I mean, I only grabbed you because you were there anyway," I said.

"My weight necessarily slowed you down, as it interfered with the aerodynamics of your body."

"You didn't actually stop me."

"I was stunned by your decision to pick me up and carry me bridal style, and forgot to speak to tell you to instead throw me under Morvarc'h's hooves to disrupt her ability to chase you."

I briefly considered arguing further - then I just shook my head and fucked her brains out on the bed.

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