I'm Still Alive

Well, another long hiatus. Every time I wanted to show the things I have been working on I've felt pretty ashamed.

I have personally been struggling for awhile now. The situation in the US has exasperated the issue, and it's hurt me, and my closest friends. It's been extremely hard for me to find inspiration for art, for pretty much wanting to do anything for several months now.

It isn't fair to you, who have come by to support my artwork during a time when you could go to some AI generating website and get some photoreal image of your favorite character. To be honest the pressure AI is having on artist's lives is getting real. There is a real undercurrent of hopelessness towards it and I've been a victim to it as well. Making 3D artwork from scratch is not an easy process, even when there are resources available to you. The amount of skill-building necessary to do tasks that from the outside appear easy feels insurmountable at times.

For example: I have been trying to learn how to make customized 3D hair assets to have photoreal versions of Marvel Rival's Emma Frost. You'd think "Oh, it's just hair, how hard can that be, you can finish that in a few days". It really isn't. Even fitting clothing correctly takes effort. There's no easy button, there's honestly a great deal of intention behind so much of what we do that feels like it should be so simple, and it isn't. And when you mention it, people look at you like you're just overselling your complaints because you are lazy.

A confluence of pressures has pretty much robbed me of joy for months now and I'm just starting to pick up the parts of me that I need to steel myself with determination. I've been approached by some very kind people regarding art commissions and I think I'm going to try focusing on those for awhile, as trying to find some idea that would resonate with a broad audience has honestly been very hard for me.

Thank you for enjoying my work, and putting up with the difficulties of me being fallible and human.