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lushinlace
Lush in Lace erotic audio for your listening pleasure.
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Public post
Laughter is the Best Medicine 🤣
I haven't shared a naughty joke in a while but this one popped up recently and it made me chuckle, so enjoy!
--
A guy decides to buy his new girlfriend a pair of gloves for Christmas...
After all, they’ve only been dating for three weeks so it seems like the ideal gift – romantic, yet not too personal.
He asks the girlfriend’s younger sister to accompany him to buy them then she can point out a pair she’d like. They go to the mall and the sister points out a pair of white gloves which the guy then buys.
The sister then picks up a pair of panties for herself and buys them.
But during the wrapping, the clerk mixes up the parcels without anyone realizing. As a result, the sister gets the gloves and the guy takes home a gift box containing the panties.
Without checking, the guy rushes the gift to his sweetheart, but only after drafting this loving and helpful note to accompany it:
“I chose these because I notice you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons, but she wears the short ones that are easier to remove.
These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me a pair she’d been wearing for the last three weeks and they were hardly soiled.
I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart.
I wish I was there to put them on for you the first time. There’s no doubt other hands will come in contact with them before I have a chance to see you again.
When you take them off remember to blow in them before putting them away, as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing.
Just think how many times I will kiss them during the coming year. I hope you will wear them for the coming Christmas Eve.
P.S. The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing.
~End
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Public post
Laughter Is The Best Medicine 😂
It's been a long time since I posted some naughty humor here, but I saw this one on Reddit and figured some of you might enjoy it ... I know I did today!
A lady approaches a priest and shyly tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have these two talking female parrots but, they only know how to say one thing...
they keep saying 'Hi, we’re hot... do you want to *fuck us*?' "
"That's terrible!" says the priest. "But, I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two parrots over to my house tomorrow. I will put them with my two male talking parrots, who I've taught to pray and read the bible. My parrots will then teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible filth, and your female parrots will learn to pray and worship the good Lord."
So the next day, the lady brings her two female parrots to the priest's house.
The priest's two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage.
The lady puts her female talking parrots in with the male talking Parrots, and the female parrots say, "Hi, we're hot. Do you want to fuck us?”
One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and screams,..
"PUT THE BIBLE AWAY YOU IDIOT OUR PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED!!"
~End
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Public post
Happy (Naughty) Easter!
I love this funny Easter Clip!
I'm hoping for a creamy treat in my Easter Basket this year!! 😜🍆💦
Happy Easter everyone!
~Lacey 😘
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Public post
The Joke's On Him...
Just some more naughty humor. 😂
A man goes to the doctor...
“DOCTOR I NEED HELP!“ he says.
The doctor asked curiously “Why are you shouting?“
“I DON’T KNOW, I’VE ALWAYS BEEN LIKE THIS. CAN YOU FIND THE REASON?“ the man asks, still shouting.
So the doctor examines the man, and after a while concludes that somehow, the man’s large penis is the cause of his constant need to shout.
"You'll need a penis reduction to correct the problem," the doctor says. "Sure! I'll do anything!" the man says and agrees to a reduction procedure.
But after a while, the man finds himself lacking in the bedroom.
He returns to the doctor and asks him to reverse the procedure and put the rest of his penis back on.
“SORRY! NO, CAN DO! I THREW IT AWAY!“ the doctor shouts.
~End
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Public post
Monday Laugh 🤣
Thought you could use a joke to brighten your Monday...
Many years ago when I was married, I accidentally overturned my golf cart.
A very attractive golfer, who lived in a villa on the golf course, heard the noise and called out: "Are you okay? What's your name?"
"It's John, and I'm okay, thanks," I replied as I pulled myself out of the twisted cart.
"John," the attractive woman said, (her firm loose breasts undulating beneath her white silky robe), "forget your troubles. Come to my villa, rest a while and I'll help you with the cart later."
"That's mighty nice of you," I answered, "but I don't think my wife would like it."
"Oh, come on now," the beauty insisted.
She was so very pretty, very very sexy and very persuasive ... I was weak.
"Well okay," I finally agreed but thought to myself, 'my wife won't like it.'
After a couple of restorative Scotch and waters, I thanked the woman. "I feel a lot better now, but I know my wife is going to be really upset. So I'd best go now."
"Don't be silly!" she said with a tempting smile, letting her robe fall open slightly. "She won't know anything. By the way, where is she?"
"Still under the cart, I guess..."
~End
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