Hello everyone!

So week three has come to an end and I've been learning more, adapting more, and experiencing more of life without toilets. It's been interesting. I'm happy to report that I had no failures this week. The toilet remained unused, the potty monster stayed unfed.

I've noticed that I'm pooping myself much easier now. It's never been particularly hard for me to do, but it's becoming just a reaction now. I feel like I need to poop, I move into a position and do it. Not mindlessly, I can and do hold it on occasion, but when I decide to go, it happens pretty quickly. Despite it becoming somewhat "normal" I'm glad to report I haven't lost my enjoyment for it. Indeed, with the nappy cream, I'm spending increasing amounts of time in messy nappies.

The downside of being messy so often is, obviously, the smell. I don't notice it when I'm sitting here working, but if I waddle to the shops and then come back it is REALLY noticeable. Does anyone have advice for that? Ways of keeping nappies in the house without stinking the whole place out?

There were three big events to talk about this week. The first happened last Tuesday when I had to go to the hospital. It was a scheduled appointment. I have had pulsatile tinnitus since last October, which for those that don't know (which included me until it started!) is a rushing sound in the ear that happens with your heartbeat. I was sent for a CT scan where they injected dye into me to light up my blood vessels. The fun started when the nurse failed to put a cannula in my arm the first time and as he was sorting it out I nearly passed out. A horrible feeling. Where I felt like my vision was zooming out and the volume of sound around me started dropping.

Fortunately, I was OK. I didn't throw up, I didn't pass out. I did wobble a lot on the chair and had to lay down for a few minutes though. The scan itself was fine. The nurse told me that as the dye went into my arm I might feel warmth and that I was wetting myself but that I wasn't so don't panic. Well, jokes on her, because I was lying in that scanner for about five minutes and I did indeed wet myself!

The next event occurred in Tesco which, for those that don't know, is a very big supermarket chain over here. I was kind of stupid. I knew I needed to poop before going out, but I really didn't want to have to delay my trip to the shop... so I thought I'd just hold it.

Well, I didn't expect the need to go to grow so quickly. I think that after three weeks of near constant wearing, my brain is already asking "why wait?" when i deny it the toilet. It knows I have a diaper on, it feels the discomfort and wants to feel better.

I ended up filling my nappy whilst squatting down in an aisle and pretending to look at an item on the shelf. Once I finished, I quickly went to the front and paid for the items, and left. I looked around a lot and I don't think anyone noticed. I certainly hope they didn't. I really don't want to inconvenience others with this challenge of mine. I probably could've held it longer, but my bowels were cramping up quite a bit and I honestly don't know how much longer I would've been able to hold on, nappy or not. I think it was the takeaway burger I had the night before that made things a little more urgent than usual.

However, the REAL disaster came just yesterday. I'm using some old nappies that I bought a while ago and never got around to using. Well, I don't know if it is because of the time they've sat in my bedroom, but the tapes aren't as good as they used to be. I don't mean the adhesiveness, that bit is fine. No, the problem is that the part of the tape attached to the rear flap keeps tearing off. It's a really bizarre failure, not one I've encountered before.

Anyway, I was in a messy nappy, as usual, the nappy had started feeling a little looser whilst sitting down and when I looked I saw that one of the tapes had ripped off in the way described above. I stood up and... two other tapes failed at the same time.

I couldn't actually believe it... still can't!

I stood up, three tapes had split and the nappy fell down my leg. I tried desperately to grab at it, failed and... Well, it's a good thing I plan to tear up the carpets in here soon because what is supposed to stay inside the nappy... didn't.

I cleaned and scrubbed for a while after that and whilst the stain is gone, I still know what happened, I feel its presence. I'm now a lot more careful with these nappies. Who knew thy could spontaneously explode? I swear it wasn't THAT full!

Here's the stats so far:

Week 3:

Number of nappies: 14

Messy nappies: 8

Toilet uses: 0

Times “overexcited” in nappy: 3

Number of leaks: 0

Overall:

Number of nappies: 39

Messy nappies: 21

Toilet uses: 1

Times “overexcited” in nappy: 8

Number of leaks: 2

That's all for this week. I'll update again in a week or so. In the meantime I hope you all continue to enjoy my stories.

Stay padded!

Elfy

Hello,

Last week I talked about starting a challenge of not using the toilet at all. I said I would keep people updated on how it goes. Well, one week later and here I am!

I'll save the stats for the end of the post but, firstly, I will say that I made it through the week with 0 toilet uses. It hasn't been without issue though. In fact, I've discovered a couple, one of which was really embarrassing.

The more mundane of the problems is simply the rubbing on my thighs. I've quickly discovered that thick nappies are simply not designed for walking in. They are made for being on your hands and knees and crawling around!

Right now, I haven't really fixed the issue. I said at the outset that this WASN'T an attempt to wear 24/7 or unpotty train myself, so right now, if I need to walk somewhere, I'm doing it between nappies. What I need to do is buy myself some pull-ups. Perhaps that'll be for when I next head out to the shops.

There is a logistics issue as well. I'm not flush with money, I'm thankful for all my subscribers, of course, but my income is decidedly not enough for infinite diapers. So I've been keeping an eye on how many nappies I'm using. I'm finding that I can make it with only two nappies a day, one that I wake up in and then another that will get me through the day. It means I go to bed pretty darn wet, but that leads me into the next point...

Messy nappies. I know they aren't everyone's thing, but I personally love them. Usually, my routine in a nappy is mess it, "enjoy" it, take it off. However, if I want to minimise nappy usage, I need to hold off on the second and third steps. Basically, I'm getting used to being messy for longer periods of time. This has meant a change (ha ha) to what I usually do which is taking some getting used to.

On the first day this week, I woke up, messed my nappy not long afterwards, "enjoyed" it and got changed... only to discover something that others may already know, something my girlfriend informed me all parents with young children discover: "There's always more poop!"

In other words, that second nappy ended up messy very soon after the first requiring another change. Lesson learned. After messing, don't assume there isn't more to come sooner rather than later!

Which leads into the most embarrassing incident... A few days ago, I got out of my messy morning nappy, had a shower, and then felt another need to poop. I didn't want to put a diaper on only to mess it right away and I want to avoid the toilet if at all possible... That's when I remembered the puppy pads...

It was something my girlfriend bought me, mostly as a joke, a few years ago. I very much have a "puppy" element to me and she evidently thought puppy pads would be funny. Little fif she know that they are actually useful! They are perfect for sitting on when you're worried you might leak, for example.

Well, I needed to poop again... Nappies were out, the toilet was out... So I grabbed the puppy pad, put it on the floor and squatted over it like a dog who hadn't been let outside. Needless to say, it was quite the humbling experience!

It worked though, and now I'm extra careful with when I take nappies off. I need to make supplies last after all.

So, I'm keeping a few different stats to see how it goes over the year. These are what I've recorded, if you have ideas for something else to keep track of, just let me know in a comment of message!

Week One Stats:

Number of nappies used: 13

Messy nappies: 8

Toilet uses: 0

Times “overexcited” in nappy: 5

Number of leaks: 0

That's it for week one! Here's to week two being another success!

Hello,

I'm going to do something I try not to normally do and discuss numbers on here and on my other subscription platform. I want to say up front I'm not complaining that I'm "owed" support or anything, but I do have some questions for going forwards.

I've been pleased that, when combining my two subscription platforms together I have, for the most part, been able to match what I was doing on Patreon in terms of subscriber numbers and amount pledged. That's a number I'm happy with as well, don't get me wrong, I'm not ever going to be wealthy doing this, but most months I am able to do a bit better than breaking even which is all I really want. Obviously it's nice to the the numbers go up and I appreciate the extra support a lot as it means I can splash out a little more, but there is a number in my head where I feel... safe.

One thing about working for yourself is that you don't really have a stable income. The amount I get paid at the end of a month can fluctuate a lot. It's something that is always in the back of my head and a constant source of anxiety. I worry that one day I might wake up and you'll all be gone!

So, over the last month or so my numbers have been in decline. Not a lot, I'm not hitting panic stations, but it has been worrying to me. My instinct when this happens is to work harder and write more, it is the stories that bring you all here after all. But when I see a slight decline I start to get into my own head and question what people really want to read.

A story that catches on with audiences can do a lot for my subscriber numbers. "Livy's New Family" and "Sam's Vacation" were the two best examples of that happening. On the flipside, if a story isn't hitting with audiences then numbers start to drop. I notice that sometimes, especially the longer a story goes.

So my question for all of you... What do you guys and gals want to see here? This can be suggestions for new things to create, new story themes, things you particularly like that I don't do or things you definitely want me to keep doing. Literally, any feedback is good feedback right now because my first priority is giving you all what you want :) 

So, yeah, leave a comment or send me a message and I will look at all suggestions, advice, etc.

--- 

The other thing I wanted to talk about is that I will be going on a one week holiday starting on the 15th of this month. I'm still looking at options for what I'm going to be doing with my writing during that time. I could continue my regular upload schedule with updates to the usual two stories but I'm also thinking that I might make it a little special and release two exclusive stories that week instead. We'll see. I don't intend to be out of contact and I will still be doing some writing whilst I relax (believe it or not, I've been encouraged to do that by my therapist!) so if you need me I'll still be available.

Just a short update and a question to you all today. Please do leave a comment about what you want, I will take all advice on board.

Stay padded!

Elfy