Return of the Brat

Today, we are again joined by Jessica Merkin, star of the upcoming chapter The Reign of Jess.  Now, Jessica, welcome back, but please be more careful with the studio equipment this time, inflation is quite high in my time period and parts can be quite hard to...

Mlease be more mler mer mer mler! You literally created my entire personality, Trinian.  Don't come whinging to me now if you don't like it.

I do like it, and so do the supporters.  Why do you think you're the first, and so far only one of my characters to be invited to share your thoughts here?

Because I'm the only one who's thoughts are worth listening to.  Could you imagine if you had Abbie here to talk about how much she loves fucking school work?  Probably literally, haha, I bet she has sex with her school work.  I'm gonna tell people she does.  Or Melissa banging on about 5K's or whatever.  Oh my god or Natalie on one of her rants about the nobility.  Ever had trouble sleeping?  Just get that girl round your house and you'll be out like a light in two minutes.

Err... okay.  Thanks for the tip.  Anyway, why do you think it is that you're so popular, Jess?

'Cos apart from being a total stunner, I'm actually fun.  Be honest, you'd rather hang out with me than Missy, right?  Like, all Missy would want to do is talk about shoes and hair products and the colour pink.  Come on, real talk, hands up who wishes they were in my head instead of Missy's?  Yeah, get them up at the back there, I see you.

Do you not have a girly side to you then?

I'm a Sapphorian, dumb-dumb, I don't have any other side than girly.  Boceta gave us this well boring lesson about it last term that we have no male hormones in our bodies or some crap.  I don't know, I wasn't listening.  Then she stripped Annie for no reason 'cos she fancies her.  It was pretty funny.  Boceta was a bitch, but she had her moments.

But you don't like traditionally girly things like shoes and hair products and pink?

Have you seen me lately?  You think hair this nice comes naturally, do you? I spend fucking ages on my hair, because I don't just tie it up in pigtails and call the job done.  And I've been here for ages and you haven't complemented my hair once yet.

Your hair looks very nice, of course, but it has been exactly the same since I first created you.  I know these things, remember?  But in fairness, it is one of the nicer styles to work with, it has a lot of nodes, making it quite easy to manipulate if you're bent over or suchlike, compared with say Miss Paris's which is a nightmare that's always clipping into her shoulders.

Huh?  I don't know what that means or what a node is.  Talk about me some more, I'm getting bored and there's no signal in here.

Okay, well as it happens, I have a few questions from our supporters.  They're quite eager to know more about you and I told them they can ask anything.

Alright, could be fun.

First question then: what would you do with Missy if she was Poppy's servant?

...so you're saying you told them they could ask questions about me, but they asked you a bunch of questions about Missy instead?

As I recall it, you were quite keen to talk about Missy last time you were here.  Would you prefer to discuss that instead of answering the question?

No, shut up and fuck off and shut up.  And then fuck off some more.  If Missy was Poppy's slave?  Well I suppose I'd have her kneel before me and make her bark like a dog and if she misbehaved, I'd strip her naked and make her kiss my butt.  Oh wait, I already did all of that.  Haha, that was awesome.  I told you last time I have plans for Missy, but your supporters are going to have to wait a bit longer to find out what they are because you insisted on faffing around for 4 months.  But she'd better get used to kissing my butt.

That 'faffing around' was a lot of hard work actually.  Okay, well, the next question isn't about Missy - do you plan to put any other girls besides her under your thumb?  How about Abbie?  And will your friends also get to have fun with Missy?

You realise that you mentioned Missy twice in that question that "wasn't about Missy?"

Your relationship with her is the thing that fascinates them the most.  Whatcha gonna do?

Well for a start why would I care about Abbie?  I don't want to catch nerd from her.  Is nerd sexually transmitted?  No, I guess not or Missy would definitely have it by now.  So how do you catch it?  Is there a vaccine?

I don't think "nerd" is a disease, Jess.

Agree to disagree.  And Emma, Vicky and Chantelle are big girls, if they want to bully Missy or anyone else, they don't need my help.  Bad girls share and share alike, so whatever I end up doing with that little bimbo, they can get some too if they want.

Okay, well last question: If Missy was made permanently your slave, what would an average day look like, and what sort of things would you do with her?

They're very focussed on me enslaving Missy aren't they?  I like it.

Yeah, I figured you'd be on the same wavelength.

I've always wanted a slave, you know.  My fucking mothers won't buy one though for some reason, and we could totally afford it.  Still, maybe it's a blessing in disguise, because making Missy clean my room, scrub my panties and serve me my food - all totally naked and in chains of course - would be pretty fun.  Then when her housework's done, I'm sure I could think of plenty of other uses for her. Mhmmmm.....

Um... are you alright?

Huh?  Oh, yeah, I've just remembered somewhere I need to be.  We're done though right?

If you want to be, we can be.

Okay.  Where's your bathroom?  And follow-up question, is it soundproof?

Did you make yourself horny talking about what you'd do to Missy if she was your slave?

What I'm going to do in there is none of your business, you perv, shut up and fuck off and this chair was wet when I sat down, you can't prove it wasn't.

Thank you all for your questions for Jess, I think she quite enjoyed the attention, and she didn't even break anything, which is always a win.  Thank you for reading this week's public update!

Trinian