So I decided to do something I'd never done before: ask a machine to interview me. More specifically, the most popular AI machine out there: ChatGPT. I asked it to formulate ten off-the-wall questions that would help my followers get to know me better, and boy, did it not disappoint. I fed it the prompt:

I am an author. Please generate ten off-the-wall questions for me to answer that would make the members of my Subscribestar Adult know me as a person a little bit better. Try to keep them light-hearted, quirky, and a little bit strange.

Here are the questions it came up with...

If you were a flavor of ice cream, what would you be, and what unexpected topping would best represent your personality?
Strawberry. And a Sweet & Sour candy.

In an alternate universe where your life is a sitcom, what would the theme song be, and who would play the quirky neighbor character based on you?
The theme song would be Heathens by Twenty-One Pilots, and I don't think any actress could play me. I'm pretty weird... Oh! I know! Anna Kendrick!!

If your autobiography were written in the style of a fantasy novel, what mythical creature would be your loyal sidekick, and what epic quest would you embark on together?
Done it already. Read The Secret Life of Miel.

If you had the ability to communicate with plants, what would your favorite houseplant have to say about you to anyone who walked into your home?
Leave while you still have the chance! This beeyotch be crazy, yo!

Imagine your life as a board game. What would the game pieces be, and what would players have to do to win your version of Monopoly?
The game pieces would be avatars of different stories. To win, a player must ultimately develop the most creative, unique story woven together from all of the properties (or snippets of ideas) they own. I should really make a game like that...

If you were the protagonist in a whimsical animated movie, what inanimate object would come to life as your wise and talkative companion, offering quirky advice at every turn?
My computer. I swear I'm more emotionally attached to that damn thing than I am to most people. I write on it, game on it, pass time on it, do most of my hobbies with it...

In a world where your daily routine is a superhero training montage, what would be your signature superhero move, and what catchy theme song would play every time you performed it?
My signature superhero move would definitely be the spider monkey, and the catchy theme song that would play when I did it would be some cheesy disco-themed music. 😄

If you hosted a dinner party for fictional characters, who would be on the guest list, and what bizarre dish would you serve to impress them?
There are really only two, and I created both of them.

If your pet could write a tell-all memoir about you, what juicy secrets do you think they would spill, and what would the memoir's title be?
Since I don't have a 'pet,' I'll just use my Baby Squirrel Anne as a replacement. She knows ALL my secrets, but I trust her not to spill any of them, so it's kind of a moot point. The title of the memoir... hmm... Beautiful Trainwreck: The Alexa Nichols Story.

In an enchanted forest filled with sentient animals, which woodland creature would be your loyal steed, and what magical power would it possess to assist you on your writing adventures?
My loyal steed would definitely be a lion, and it would give me the gift of strength and stability when my emotions become too chaotic/sporadic. Because they do, sometimes overwhelmingly so, which is why something like that would be exceedingly valuable.