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How to Be a Good Hotwife: Taking Photos for Your Husband
Let Him Vicariously Enjoy the Sexy Action
I’ve been a Hotwife for over a decade. I’ve had a whole lot of fun with a lot of sexy men and I’ve enjoyed it all.
My husband, Mark tells me that he has loved it, too. I make sure that he is included in every sexy decision, date preparation, and all steps along the way.
One of Mark’s favorite things is when I bring back erotic photos of what I did during my Hotwife escapade.
I knew one Hotwife who told me that her husband said, “I don’t wanna know what you do. I don’t even wanna hear about it.”
That’s not Mark and I. We started out as swingers, playing together. Now that I’m a Hotwife, and playing without Mark, he likes still being included. If he’s not present during the playing, he wants to see pictures of what we did. I’m okay with that.
I’ve learned that being a good hotwife is less about fucking for fuck’s sake, and more about intention, trust, and communication.
Taking sexy and explicit pictures of your encounters for your husband’s eyes is a powerful exercise in the Hotwife dynamic. It’s not pornography, but an intimate token of connection, reassurance, and a shared fantasy.
Communication and Consent are Key
If you don’t know, find out what your husband enjoys when it comes to erotic photos. What will make him feel part of the experience. Yes, you’re fucking another guy, but you want to make him feel like he’s in on the action.
He doesn’t want to have sex with the guy. He wants to see that you’re enjoying having sex with the other guy. I know that Mark likes to see other men playing with my tits. I give him that.
He also enjoys blow job photos. I always make sure that, when I’m with my Bull, I get photos that reflect those favorite scenes that Mark likes. He enjoys cum facial pics, so I give him that.
Of course, make sure that your bull is okay with taking photos. I had one encounter with a guy who was a lawyer. He gave permission for photos, but he was nervous the whole time, afraid that the pics would somehow end up online and his ex-wife would discover them. (A legitimate fear, I’m sure.)
Discuss boundaries clearly:
Who are the photos for?I always give copies to Mark and usually to the guy I just fucked.
What level of nudity or suggestiveness is comfortable? Mark likes photos of me naked in the arms of another man. He does not like pussy-shots, however.
How will the photos be stored and protected? Mark has a hidden file on his computer where all of my Hotwife photos are kept. When it comes to your Bulls, you have to judge whether you can trust them and make it explicit to them that they will not post them online. If you don’t trust them, don’t share the pics.
Are they for private enjoyment only, or part of a shared fantasy narrative? Our photos are for our eyes only. Mark likes them more than I do. I feel embarrassed, but Mark loves to revisit them. It’s a big turn on for him.
Remember the Purpose of the Pictures:
Taking pictures of yourself having sex with other men is your way of including your partner in this bold activity, even when he’s not there. It’s about keeping your connection with him. The best photos carry intention. They say:
“I want you.”
“I’m thinking of you.”
“You’re included in this part of my life.”
“I’m doing this for your pleasure.”
Confidence Is More Important Than Perfection
I’m not built like J-Lo. I’m no model or porn star. That’s not what this is about. You don’t need a smokin’ hot body or professional lighting to be captivating in sexy photos taken for your husband. Confidence is the real appeal.
When you feel good in your skin, it shows in your pictures. If you’re in the throes of sex, it will show in your eyes and the way you respond.
Let your bull take the pictures. Have him use your phone so that you control the images.
Over time, as your comfort grows, your confidence will naturally deepen — and your husband will feel that energy through the explicit images.
Make Him Feel Included, Not Replaced
One common pitfall in hotwife lifestyle is when the husband feels sidelined. Certainly, he has given his permission for the sexual activity. But he still wants to be part of the dynamics. He wants to feel the erotic thrill of allowing wild sex.
Pictures can prevent him from feeling left out. They bring him back into the action. Consider:
Sending a photo with a message just for him.
Taking a picture specifically because you know it’s his favorite angle or look. For example, I might be sucking another man’s cock, but I’ll be sure and look directly at the camera, so that Mark feels like he’s there, and I’m looking at him.
Framing the image as something you want to share, not something he’s lucky to receive
The emotional tone matters. A good hotwife uses pictures to reinforce that her husband is central, trusted, and desired.
Protect Privacy and Trust
Being a good hotwife also means being responsible. Photos are intimate, and trust is fragile. Make sure:
Devices are secured
Cloud backups are intentional, not automatic
No one else has access unless explicitly agreed upon
Treating intimate photos with care shows maturity and commitment to the relationship.
Use Photos as Inclusion, not Substitution
Hotwife pics should enhance intimacy, not replace it. Use erotic personal pics as conversation starters, shared fantasies, or moments of reconnection. Talk about which ones he liked and why. Ask how they made him feel. Share what you enjoyed about taking them.
Understand that the real intimacy happens in the communication, not just the imagery.
Stay True to Yourself
Finally, remember that authenticity matters. You don’t need to perform a role that doesn’t feel like you. The most meaningful photos are those that reflect who you genuinely are — confident, playful, sensual, thoughtful.
In other words, don’t do anything that you don’t want to do.
Taking pictures for your husband as a hotwife is an act of intimacy, trust, and intention. When done thoughtfully, it strengthens bonds rather than strains them. Focus on communication, confidence, and care, and let the images be an extension of the connection you already share.
I strongly encourage any woman entering the Hotwife Lifestyle to consider having her cell phone handy to take sexy, explicit photos to give to that wonderful man that allows her such great experiences.
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10 Hotwife Fears and How to Dispel Them
Things You Might Needlessly Worry About When Starting Out
You have read all about the advantages and benefits of living the Hotwife lifestyle. Maybe you’ve reached that point where you’re ready to give it a try.
Let’s say your husband came up with the idea and presented it to you and he has even found a handsome, sexy guy with whom you can have your first experience. You are ready to get naked between the sheets with a brand new man. That’s a big deal.
Suddenly, you find yourself facing some fears that you didn’t expect. I certainly did. Here are ten of them:
Fear #1: “My husband says he won’t be jealous, but I’m afraid he might.” The fact is, he will be jealous. It comes with the territory and it is part of the whole experience. Jealousy is an issue with which he must contend. If your husband has come to the point where he is asking you to have sex with other men, he must have come to terms with what that means. He must have played it over in his head a hundred or more times, and given plenty of thought to how it will look. He has to have thought about the jealousy issue and how he will handle it.
There are things you can do to help him with that task. You must assure him that your heart is still at home — in your marriage bed. Make sure he knows that you will never try to replace him. Hotwifing is an extension to your lovemaking as a couple, not a substitution for anything that is missing. Even though it may have been his idea, he needs reassurance that he is still your Numero Uno.
The fear of his jealousy may be with you even after you have had several experiences with other men. I think it took me three or four years before I really believed that my husband was able to handle the jealousy factor.
I no longer fear his jealousy, but I do still remind him how important he is to me and that one word from him, and I will give it up instantly.
Fear #2: Guilt We all have these thoughts in the back of our minds. “Mom didn’t raise me to be this way. I’m a Good Girl.” We have all heard slut-shaming stories most of our lives. We remember the loose girls in high school — the office sluts — The “Bar Flies.”
As women, we have been fed a line of bullshit for centuries. A lot of it comes from men, but much of it comes from our mothers.
“Good girls don’t touch their naughty parts.”
“Don’t do that. It’s dirty down there.”
No wonder so many women are afraid to even masturbate, much less have enjoyable sex with their husbands. My grandmother actually told me that women should never enjoy sex. They must simply let themselves be used by their husbands for male gratification.
Hotwifing is NOT being a bad girl or a slut any more than is trying new positions for sex.
If your husband says he would like to share you with other men, you have nothing to feel guilty about. Cheating on your husband would be a reason to feel guilty. But, Hotwifing with your husband’s permission is not. If he says, “Go for it,” you are free and clear. Enjoy! No point in guilt.
Fear #3: I might hurt the other man’s feelings if I say no. I still sometimes worry that if I meet a man as a potential FWB (Friend with Benefits) and he doesn’t appeal to me, I will hurt his feelings if I turn him down. I am not obligated to have sex with anyone, not even my husband if I’m not in the mood. That certainly applies to potential Hotwife sex partners. If they don’t turn me on, I turn them down. I do it kindly and respectfully, of course. If they won’t take no for an answer, then I have to be more harsh.
There have been a couple of times that I have had sex with a guy because I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. I didn’t like that feeling and I no longer will do that. Men who are asking to have sex with another man’s wife is actually expecting to be turned down. He feels very lucky when it turns out his way.
Fear #4: I might like the other guy too much. I do like men. I like them a lot. When I began Hotwifing, I was afraid that I might meet a man that I would fall in love with.
I have had some FWBs of whom I am very fond. Some of them I find fascinating and charming and… well, good fucks! But, I never allow myself to cross the line of falling in love with them. True love is reserved for my husband, who I not only have loved for many years, but who is also the guy who allows me to have these amazing experiences.
Fear #5: The other guy might like me too much. Sometimes I fear that one of my extra guys might begin to fall in love with me, or simply want to spend more time with me than is allowed. I do have to deal with that on occasion.
One FWB wanted to take me on a vacation to Mexico, another to England. One fellow got jealous of my other FWBs and wanted me to be exclusive. Men who get too serious about me simply have to be reminded of the rules and that they are only friends, not lovers. They always seem to back off when told.
If it ever got bad enough, my husband would step in and set them straight. But, that has never happened, and I don’t expect it will.
Fear #6: Body-Image I have a natural fear of body-shaming. I’m far past my college days and I wasn’t all that confident even then.
In my mind, I’m haunted by the beautiful women in movies and on TV. I’m always afraid some new man will be disappointed with how I look.
It has never happened, and I’m sure it never will, but I’m always afraid some new sex partner is going to say, “I thought you had bigger boobs!” (Or, some other obnoxious statement.)
The truth is that men who enjoy being with a Hotwife are very grateful for the experience. They are potentially fucking another man’s wife, and that, in itself is very sexy. If they have taken this experience to the point of actually getting you naked, they are guaranteed to worship you for it.
Fear #7: Age I’m not a spring chicken, nor am I an old goat. Very few Hotwives begin their journey in their twenties. Most are actually in their forties or above when they begin the Hotwife adventure.
Don’t compare yourself to the young women you see at the mall in their short midriff tops, and don’t compare yourself to Hollywood celebrities or porn stars. You are a beautiful adult female and any man who is lucky enough to have sex with a sexually experienced Hotwife is receiving a gift beyond compare.
These days I set the lowest age of my play partners at forty-five. Yet, I still get propositioned by 20-somethings who seem to have a mom-fetish or something.
Even though I harbor this ageism fear more and more as time goes by, I have yet to have any man say, “Oh, you’re too old. I’ve changed my mind.” It just doesn’t happen.
Fear #8: My FWB might think I’m a slut Again, the good girl/bad girl thing! You may find yourself worrying that this guy, who is actually fucking another man’s wife is going to think you’re a slut. It’s a natural fear to have.
In reality, the man is going to think, “How hot is this? I get to have sex with another man’s wife?”
He’s a very lucky guy. He gets no-strings-attached sex, maybe a blow job from a woman who is married, but willing to give him sex. He is feeling very happy and appreciative. I doubt that he is going to be criticizing you.
What he thinks beyond the sex act is not your concern. If he thinks badly of you for having sex with him, then he is the worst kind of hypocrite.
Fear #9: My sexual performance won’t be up to par. You might fear that you won’t be the wildcat sex goddess that he is hoping for. When a man has that fear, they call it performance anxiety, and he might not be able to get an erection.
For us ladies, our anxiety may not be so apparent.
But, let me assure you that a man who finds himself naked with another man’s wife is going to think you are the best thing since he discovered his first erection. There is, apparently as special appeal to having sex with a woman who is wearing another man’s ring.
If he gets to kiss you, touch a naked breast, get a blow job, or fuck you, he is going to going to think you are the sexiest woman he has ever known. It’s automatic.
Fear #10: Me? A Hotwife? Who are you trying to kid?
You might feel weird having the term, Hotwife applied to you. You see photos of gorgeous babes in movies, TV and porn, and the women have big boobs, incredible figures, and collagen-injected lips.
None of that is what a Hotwife is. If your husband allows you to have sexual relations with other men, then you are a Hotwife. If you also happen to be beautiful and sexy (which you probably are,) then you are a hot Hotwife. Accept the moniker and wear it proudly. You have been one of the lucky ones who have received a great gift. You have your cake and eat it, too.
These ten fears may invade your mind when you’re on the verge of having your first Hotwife experience. They may continue to plague you well into your Hotwife life. I still struggle with some of them.
Acknowledge them. Get through them and realize that they are natural. But, don’t let them stop you. If your husband (or boyfriend) has granted this kind of adventurous lifestyle to you, don’t let a few self-conscious fears to get in the way.
I’m hopeful that this article has, at least let you know that you aren’t alone in having these self-defeating thoughts.
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