Congratulations, you’ve made it to the finale of the advent denial challenge. (Or you’ve just skipped ahead to see how it finishes but that’s cool too.)
Many advent calendars only have 24 days (that used to annoy me as a kid) but we're going all the way to 25, and I’ll have special instructions for you for the big day itself.
But today, your last day of denial - I want you to edge as many times as you can. Aim for seven at least. But here’s the twist, each edge has to be twice as long as the last one. (Remember I count an edge as the whole masturbating without cumming - you don’t have to be ‘on the edge’ of orgasm the whole time).
Just think about that for a moment. Do the maths. If your first edge of the day is just ONE minute, then your seventh edge will be 64 minutes!
That’s right, you can only touch in annoyingly teasing amounts to start, but end up with really long ones, and if you do too many, you simply won’t have time to finish them.
I’d also hugely appreciate you writing into the blog with how the denial experience has been, even if you’ve not journaled at all so far.
See you tomorrow for the big one! (If you’re lucky…)
So this is it, you’ve nearly done it! Whether you’ve just been participating a bit, using some of the ideas to enhance your edging, or gone with it all, well done on trying the Advent Denial Challenge.
Of course for those of you who have managed to edge all the way through must go a special commendation. Whether it’s your first time trying this or you’re an old (and damp) hand at denial, you’ve done spectacularly and I’m very proud of you.
Last week I suggested you get hold of a remote controlled vibe. Today’s the day you’re going to use it. You’re going to wear it, all day. Depending on the vibe either inside you against your g-spot, or against your clit, or wherever works.
Your task is to do FIVE edges today, the normal two at the start and end of the day, and then three involving the remote controlled vibrator. Yes it might need some charging in between.
And they’re to be done in a variety of places. Other areas of the house or at work - obviously keep it discrete but keep it exciting too.
Between the edges tease yourself with it and keep it on low for extended periods.
If you haven’t got a remote vibe you can use a toy, or even panties in you. Just something to make you feel sexy and naughty all day. Consider a butt plug in your pussy, they are often easier to wear for extended periods than a longer dildo.
Advent Denial Challenge Day 22
Help me with Tales from the Edge
There are two tasks today - the first is just go over all the posts from the denial challenge, and pick any that’s been your favourite (except for ruins) and do it again! If you have several you pick, choose one randomly and do that.
But the second, optional one, is to be one of the first to try out my ‘tales from the edge’ questionnaire. It’s where I’ve built a form to quiz you about your deepest fantasies and to share them with me, and potentially others.
Giving me feedback Lots of you have been giving me little bits of feedback each day on the accountability form, but this one is for everyone who’s been involved and tried some of the denial tasks this advent.
I’d love to hear how it’s been for you, what’s been your favourite bits, which tasks have worked best, and how I could improve it in future.
So your job is to edge and then click the link below (it’ll be updated on Wednesday) and continue to give me feedback as you edge!
Get some fresh air, and have an edge Today's challenge is a bit of a classic but the idea is that hopefully by now you'll be horny enough to try it if you haven't been brave enough before. It's simply to have an edge, or three, away from home. I know that will be trickier for some, and if needs be you could just do something on a balcony...
Or it might work for you to edge up against an open window - you can vary the intensity of it by doing it in the dark, as long as it gives you a thrill, that's great.
Maybe you could it in a secluded spot in a garden
Just don't get too worn out:
Or you could drive somewhere and do it in your car.
One of my favourite places to set this as a task is a changing room in a store. Try on some sexy outfits to get in the mood and then edge in the seclusion of the changing room (check your location doesn't allow changing room cameras, most places don't)
You might find yourself wanting to be even more daring:
It's obviously easier if you've got a remote controlled vibe like the Lovense Lush 2 or the new one by them, the Ferri - both are BRILLIANT and a lot of fun to use by yourself or with someone else controlling it.
If you're just using fingers or a normal vibe then obviously a skirt or dress without underwear makes it much easier.
But you can even get yourself worked up and home and just find something to hump and have some fun with that...
Advent Denial Challenge Days 12 and 13 (reward day)
Day 12 - The Crotch Rope
Today I want you to try the crotch rope! It's a staple element of the denial slut's way of making your cravings and need worse. Learn how to do it, and try wearing it under your clothes.
This is my favourite crotch rope method. Although called a rope, it obviously needs something thinner, string (cotton NOT nylon), or some kind of cord (you can get ‘paracord’ in most supermarkets) is ideal.
You can do lots of variations on this, a simpler one is tying it off at the back, so just stopping at picture 10 with a bow. Or make the ‘bight’ in image 6 at the back and bring it through once so you tie it at the front instead.
If you don't have a string that long then use something simpler with just a shoe lace or a longer boot lace.
But here's a step by step way to do my favourite crotch rope technique.
You're going to put the rope through to make a 'belt' or waistband part first.
Next it goes down between your legs.
Then behind you
Back in front again...
It's great for holding butt plugs and dildos in you too!
But try getting used to crotch ropes, and using them under your clothes to give you that bound, sexy, secret feeling. It's very powerful.
If you like that you can advance to whole body harnesses!
The Duchy is a fabulous site for all kinds of instructions and safety advice. Please make sure you read up on it before you try anything more restrictive than this. They have ways of tying them suitable for thicker rope too which need different techniques.
Day 13 - Reward Day!
This time I'm not letting you have it so easy. You can, as ever, just use how you've got on with your edges and tasks to determine if you should cum today. You set the goal, did you meet it? Well done!
But, if you want it more difficult, and I know you often do, then here's a way to build up and let chance decide what you get...
And if you're not planning to cum for the entire Advent Challenge, then you can just play the game and all the orgasms on the 6 roll are no touch for you, or ruins. Change it for the way you're playing.
Every time you want to edge you have to roll the dice:
Rub your clit
Fuck yourself (fingers or dildo)
Rub or vibe your clit
Yes, that’s only five. For each of the above you roll the dice again,and that’s the number of minutes you get to do it for. You can keep on rolling and playing that way, a new task with a new number of minutes.
Until you roll a six.
When you roll a six, you roll again, but this time it’s to determine what you get:
Clamp your nipples (use clamps or pegs) and scroll through tumblr without touching for ten minutes, then back to the start.
30 pussy smacks with the palm of your hand, each ones should be firmer than the last then back to the start
10 snaps (stretch an elastic band between finger and thumb, pull it back and let it go against your skin - if you don’t have a band, just flick with your finger) on each nipple, then ten to each labia, then ten to your clit, then back to the start
A Ruined Orgasm
A Full Orgasm
Once you complete your forfeit (1-3) you can start over whenever you want.
Once you get (4-6) you're done.
And if you want the extra hard version, you can have 'No Touch' as your 1-3 options so it's 50/50 if you get to cum or not.
Did you enjoy yesterday? I hope so. For those of you who were lucky enough to cum I hope you were thinking of those poor girls who were either ruining theirs or not even cumming at all. I bet they were thinking of you…
On SubscribeStar this is the week’s listing (it got long enough with just five days so I'll post the weekend's task at the end of the week) so you can see what’s ahead, know how to prepare for the next day and mix things around to fit in with your schedule including your period.
Each day you can join with all the others using the online form to be accountable to yourself and me by clicking this link. It's all anonymous and I hope it helps: Daily Feedback Form
Today it’s all back to an even footing.
No touching for everyone!
That’s right, hands off the goods! There’s still a choice for you today. Is it just ‘no touch’ or is it ‘Strict no touch’.
Let’s get some definitions:
No Touch is when you aren’t allowed to directly masturbate, but you are still allowed to play freely above the waist (hello nipples my old friend) and also rubbing againstobjects, but only a little bit, no proper humping, you’re not allowed to get close from it, let alone cumming. It is, yes, just to make things worse.
Strict No Touch is when you’re not allowed any stimulation at all. If you want to still play with your nipples you decide that. I generally think it’s good but you may prefer the idea that you’re allowed no stimulation at all. You can even go as far as not being able to wipe after you pee. Feel free!
Don’t know which you want to be on today? Flip a coin. Heads it’s no touch, tails it’s strict no touch.
Reflections on Edging
Congratulations on lasting through yesterday’s no touch - it’s tougher than you think once you throw it into the midst of more active denial, isn’t it!
So, today we’re going to try something a little bit more introspective.
One of the benefits of denial, that I always bang on about, is how it can make you feel much more comfortable and positive about your body. That mix of arousal and self induced pleasure, along with the whole ‘self love’ element of masturbation anyway, can be such a positive force.
Today we’re going to amplify that.
Your edges today are to be done in front of a mirror (wherever possible).
That’s right, you’re to look at yourself, as you edge.
You can try this a few ways. If you’ve never got up close and personal with your pussy, then I encourage you to play and finger and fuck with a make up mirror held so you can really see and appreciate how amazing it is down there.
If you have a full length mirror then start by stripping slowly in front of it, have some fun (feel free to laugh) putting on some music and getting your thang on as you strip down (doesn’t have to be completely naked, but if you can that’s great), and then lie back, legs spread and watch yourself edge.
If you have a suction cup dildo then sticking it to a mirror and fucking it is super hot. Make sure it’s secure though.
If it can come off the wall then putting it on the floor, sticking the dildo to it and riding it like that will give you some remarkable views!
Or just ride it on the floor looking at yourself:
And then probably my favourite, do it in the bathroom mirror, leaning right in, looking into your own eyes. Intense, amazing, beautiful.
Now I also have an even more cringeworthy task to add to this. On one of those mirrors, take a post it note or stick a piece of paper, on which you’ve written 'You are beautiful’. And just leave it there, to read, to say to yourself, for as long as you want.
Feel free to add others!
Let us know how you get on!
Toys, toys, toys!
We talk a lot about sex toys on this blog, and that’s for one simple reason, they are BRILLIANT!
So today’s task will be different for different categories of you.
For those of you who don’t own any sex toys I want you to look up the diy sexy toys tag on the blog and find some inspiration to try something you can use to move yourself beyond just fingers.
The two easiest options are a hairbrush handle as a dildo, and an electric toothbrush as a clitoral vibe. Read up on the blog and find for each edge you do today, try something different!
Don’t forget a brush with a flat back is also great for some pussy and bottom smacking fun! Try getting just to the edge then giving your pussy a nice smack - it’s a great way to pull back from cumming.
For those of you with toys there will be those of you with a minimal set, and those with lots!
Your challenge is to use your toys in unusual ways. If you’ve just got a vibe or a vibe and dildo you could try things like:
putting the vibe in your panties and grinding on it
gently smacking your pussy with the dildo instead of fucking it
sliding one of them in you and walking around with it in
placing the dildo on a chair and just sliding over it
trying the vibe on your nipples and around the outside of your (clean) ass
If you have lots of toys, dust off some of the old ones and see what new combinations you can experience!
Finally, for everyone, with no toys or plenty, use today to start considering buying a new toy. Whether that’s in a local store, or online, have some fun edging while looking at toys and maybe even buying some.
And if you like my recommendation of our favourite sex toy store, Lovehoney, then you can buy via our affiliate link and it’ll even give us a small amount, so you’re actually supporting the blog (but just type their address into the browser if you object to that).
Explore sex toys at Lovehoney should take you to your country’s store. Their deals of the day are usually great and make sure to check out the sales and offers sections.
Dressing up, for you!
Did I mention that one of the reasons I love edging and denial is how it helps you feel more positive about your body and your sexuality. Okay, once or twice.
So, another thing that can have a similar impact is dressing up. Whether that’s for a date, or an interview or just being with friends, the things we wear can have a huge impact on how we feel.
Now it might be that you already love dressing up, or that you already want to kill me for even suggesting this, but as with all these tasks, let me encourage you to take it at whatever level works for you, but do try and push yourself, you might be surprised.
So this is going to work a few ways, you can do all, or just one of them. The first, and this is one of my favourites, is that you wear your sexiest underwear, under your normal clothes today. This is the heart of this activity, that it’s about how it makes YOU feel, and not how other people see you. Sexy can mean whatever works for you. Just picking your favourite set is great. For me the whole stocking set, especially with a garter belt (we call them suspender belts in the UK) is hard to beat. Why? Because they’re so completely unnecessary. Just all the extra effort they involve, there’s something beautiful about that.
Beyond that, if you wear the panties OVER the belt straps, then it becomes immensely practical, for, you know, taking them off without having to mess with anything else. Handy for edging huh…
For you though, it might be as simple as wearing a thong when you normally wear straight cut panties, or if you want something unusual, try wearing a thong backwards. It’s more than interesting.
If you don’t have any fancy underwear to try, then a fun alternative is getting an old pair of tights (pantyhose) and cutting a slit out over your pussy. Just a slit, not a hole, and they’ll open up and leave your pussy exposed. Some absolutely love this. You can try it with leggings too if you have a pair you don’t care about getting cut, and messy.
So that’s about dressing up, under your clothes.
Now to the outer layer. I want you to have fun dressing up, but not for anyone else. Just for you. You are to dress up, for one of your edges! Really go for it, make up, hair, and most of all something you feel really sexy in. It could be an outfit, it could be clubwear, or favourite nightwear. Dress up, for you (and perhaps a lucky partner if they’re around).
Go sexy, go slutty, go sophisticated, whatever you’re in the mood for.
Then just go for it, a long, sensual edge, reuse some of the things you’ve enjoyed these last few days. Take your time, put on some music or a movie or porn. And then, if you’re pleased with how you’ve got on these last few days, you’re allowed a ruined orgasm to finish the evening off. But it’s entirely optional.
For those of you with more time on your hands today and wanting something a bit riskier, then here’s an extra idea to try.
You’re going to play dress up, but you’re going to do it in your favourite clothes stores! Head in after a good hard edge. Pick out some outfits that you probably would never buy but think might look hot on you. And then spend time in the changing room, trying them on, and edging. Yep, right there. Every time you take an outfit off you’re to slide your fingers between your legs and have a little edge.
This would be a good one to take a sexy friend or denial buddy to. It’s more fun and very amusing to be daring each other to try outfits on.
Don’t forget shoes, try on some crazy heels (don’t trip) just for the hell of it. And if you didn’t have any outfits or lingerie you thought were sexy for the earlier tasks, maybe try buying something. I’m regularly told of all the thngs I get a sub to do, having her buy only good lingerie and wear it every day is one of the most impactful.
Speaking of which, if you’ve never been properly measured for a bra, see if you can get it done as part of this. Having the right fit makes a world of difference, I’m told.
Have fun, and with this one, if you fancy sending in pictures of how you dressed up, at home or in a store, I’m sure everyone would love to see them. But no pressure, it’s only if that turns you on. The core focus of this is you dressing, just for you!
Spread the Word! Tell someone about Denial
Now this is VERY optional, but if you can feel it’s an option I encourage you to try. If not, then your task is a to simply edge while you're on the phone to someone. Or chatting. Just doing it secretly while they have no idea you're doing it.
I genuinely feel like denial, long or short term, is a brilliant, positive kink. It can totally open you up to new experiences, teach you much more about your own sexuality and body and when enjoyed with someone else can be as hot as pretty much anything within the BDSM world.
At a personal level it can help you with developing discipline and self-control, and also be quite powerful in helping alleviate things like anxiety or worries.
Oh yes, and it makes you feel AMAZING!
So, it really is something that is worth sharing, well you know how great it is, I don’t have to tell you. But how do we tell others, that’s the question?
It really depends on your friendship groups. Some of you will have openly kinky friends and it’ll be as simple as saying ‘Hey, I’m doing this Denial Challenge, have you heard about it? I thought it might be fun if a few of us tried it.’
But most of us don’t have friends we can tap up so easily, so that’s when we need a more subtle tactic.
So if you have close friends who you share a lot with and sex is part of that, but just don’t have the openness about your kinkiness for the previous approach, then something like this could work. We link it into the recent trend for ‘challenges’
Have you heard about this Denial Challenge thing? I was browsing on Tumblr and saw it, and it sounded interesting. It’s a sexy self control thing, where you have to try not to cum for a month! Apparently it gives you this natural ‘High’ - sounds kind of cool.
So at this point they are either going to show some interest, or make it pretty clear this is not for them. In which case you stop. But if they DO show some interest then we have a wonderful magic trick…
Google loves my blog. You don’t have to tell someone about it in detail, you can ‘act’ vague, you can simply say ‘Google ‘Female Orgasm Denial’’ and the blog pops up right near the top
‘Oh yeah, that must be the one, click on that and have a look. They’ve called it ‘The Advent Denial Challenge’ or something like that. Oh there it is. Let them have a read and if they show some interesting… ‘I think I might give it a go! Want to make it a competition?
Even if they don’t, you’ve used a very nonthreatening way to introduce them to the idea of denial, that you’re going to try it, and give you the chance to discuss it with them another time. If they are the slightest bit curious they’re going to start reading more of the blog… and you know what that does to you, don’t you. And if they don’t, but they’re positive about it, maybe ask if they’ll keep you accountable as a way to encourage you to be self-controlled. What are friends for after all!
And if they do fancy trying it, keep it low key, communicate vaguely about the fact you are doing it, and how it’s making you feel. Ask them if they are too, and how they are finding it. Just take your lead from them, and maybe pick out some ideas and even captions to share with them in the future.
So remember, no pressure to do this at all, but if you love edging and denial, and they are a good friend, then they may well be interested. Because believe me, this stuff is REALLY fascinating.
So go and spread the gospel of denial my lovelys! Fly, FLLLLYYYY!
I hope that's worked having five days in a go. Do remember to keep telling me how're you doing and feel free to message me here, on Tumblr or email me at [email protected]
As I said yesterday, we're going to use today as our reward day for the week because Sunday seems to suit the most people but if that's not the case for you then you can save the reward for another day that works better. Also a reminder that I'll post all of the tasks for the next week tomorrow in one go and you can work through them, and also rearrange them to whatever works for you.
Today's task is simple. Edge LOTS!
If possible try to make every edge different somehow. It might be position, location, method, how you're dressed, what you watch or read. Get creative and let it break you out of your usual way of doing things.
You can determine what ‘LOTS’ looks like a few ways.
Decide what works for you and your day
Use it to make up for any edges you missed or failed this week plus the usual three
However you get there, that is the number of edges you need to do today.
The number is yours to set. But if you're wanting someone else to decide, 10 seems like a nice round number.
Combine your performance today with how you've done with your edges through the week and you can decide your reward.
For those of you not wanting to cum until Christmas, it's obviously not going to be an orgasm. It might be a ruin or it might just be a treat! Whatever it is, well done, you've earned it!
For those of you newer to this, I'd go for an orgasm or a ruined orgasm. If you are proud of how well you've done this week then please don't feel any pressure not to have an orgasm. The amazing way orgasms feel after a period of denial is part of the experience I want you to have. But if you're wanting to see how far you can go, have another ruin, or just torment yourself by leaving your poor pussy aching and denied. Whichever it is, you have to decide BEFORE you start your final edge. You are NOT allowed to change your mind at the last minute.
If you haven't met today's goal, or your week's goal however, there's got to be a forfeit, right?
Again you can make your own up but my suggested punishment is to sleep stuffed with panties or a dildo in you. No touching until dawn. (Just make sure you’re using something definitely body safe like a good quality toy or you put a condom on it). Sweet dreams. If the thought of that really arouses you, you could always make it your reward...
Use the feedback form to let me know how you've got on this week, what you managed today and how your reward went! Daily Feedback Form
Before today's task, an update. So that I'm not spamming your inboxes every day, tomorrow will be the last daily post. And it's going to be a 'Reward Day' where a task is combined with a reward for how you've done this week.
From Monday on I'm going to post the ENTIRE week's worth of tasks. This means it's not getting spammy but also depending what timezone you're in you can know what's coming up the next day. It does get rid of the surprise but without an actual working online calendar this seems sensible. Let me have feedback on that though!
Are you feeling lucky?
Today we’re going to let fate decide how your edges go, with the infamous and new and improved, ‘Wheel of Denial!’
To use this one you need the free app ‘Decision Roulette’ that you can get on iPhone and Android.