Chapter 77 -- Y4: Bimbo's Babble
No, nonono no no, come on! Argh!
Fuck! Fine, you win. I was way better at this game before I became a girl…
Wha -- no! That’s not a sexism thing!
That’s just -- I haven’t played this game in over five years, and never with this body! I don’t have the muscle memory, the controller sits wrong in my hands, and you got lucky with that stupid flying turtle bomb! Seriously, that thing should be considered cheating…
Pft, please.
Pushing my tits into you isn’t cheating.
It’s tactical distraction.
Hrmph. Best two out of three…?
Oh come on!
Ugh, fine.
~~~
Okay, storytime.
Blah blah blah, I managed to not get caught, he left, the end.
Okay, now for more -- ARGH not the water spritzer!
Fine, fine!
Ugh.
Come on, it's not like that's spoilers. It’s not a surprise I managed to make him leave; I’m here, aren’t I?
…Well, it's not that I don't want to talk about it, exactly, it's just…
Haaa, okay, okay, so. Taking a step back. I should start by explaining just why the chief god had such a huge effect on me and the others.
Do you remember puberty? If so, I’m very sorry. If not, then take my word for what I’m about to say next:
Puberty makes you very, very stupid.
Now there are multiple reasons for this. Your emotions get stronger as your thoughts get deeper. That’s not an exaggeration -- you literally become able to comprehend more about reality, and with the hormones rushing through your body, what you feel about that comprehension is stronger than you’ve ever experienced before.
Eventually those hormones will calm down, and with it, your emotions, but even if they didn’t… people would still gain control over themselves in time.
Due to gaining experience.
You learn more about what your greatest highs and worst lows are. How good and how bad you can feel. You get used to it, you adapt, and you move on.
But the chief god always has his aura ramped up to force everyone to experience him as, roughly, ‘the hottest thing you’ve ever felt from something other than me, tripled’.
Just being near him was literally three times as arousing as the hottest experience I had ever had to date.
That’s not entirely accurate, mind. I’m not sure what the precise formula is, but I know it’s intense. And it makes it so that those that meet him have a hellishly hard time focusing on anything but his body and cock and muscles and voice and pleasure and f-fuuuuck, I’m okay, I’m okay!
I’m okay.
…I’m really fucking wet but I’m okay.
…Yeah, his aura 'updates' how intense it is for you if you experience new, even hotter things. It even works that way in memories, retroactively. It's like brainwashing, except it's pretty much baked into the fundamental physics of MISSY, deeper than magic or hypnosis or anything else you can directly modify, block, or remove. A lot of me still runs on MISSY physics even though I'm in this world, and I can't change MISSY's laws of physics, so he's still 'three times hotter than the hottest thing I've experienced'.
Anyway, I was having a hard time thinking of what to say to him, of how to distract him from us. How to shift his focus away from him.
I thus came up with the brilliant plan of: ‘Don’t say anything meaningful’.
…It’s the best I could come up with at the time, alright?! None of us had planned for me accidentally tugging my sister from my prior life through the membranes of reality and attracting the attention of the god that was, at the time, named ‘Biggus Dickus Supremus’!
So I said, in my usual, elegant fashion, “...You’re so hot!”
Thankfully, though my brain had melted into a puddle of ooze, this happened to be the right thing to say.
He grinned -- or leered? I think it’s the same expression for him -- at me, and did a pose that made his muscles just -- mmph!
Right, focus, focus… okay.
He then winked at me, which nearly made me swoon, and told me, “That’s right! I’m the god of gods, the he-honcho himself, and you can call me Biggus Dickus Supremus!”
My sister, still in her magical girl uniform, barely held back a snort. Later she’d tell me that she couldn’t understand what was going on; she just figured that because she had no idea what was happening, it was best for her to remain quiet for the time being.
Zaylee and Sumiko both were staying as far away from the epicenter of lewdity as they could. Zaylee was using her ninja sneaking skills to slowly but steadily tug Sumiko and Jessica further away whenever the chief god wasn't paying attention.
I was…
Uh…
Struggling to not get closer, frankly…
I said -- ugh. I can’t believe I said this to him. This is one of the dumbest things I have ever said, and I said it with sincerity, too!
I said -- I… said…
…
I don’t wanna say it.
No, you don’t need to spray me with water! Fine!
I said, with a dreamy sigh, “That’s such a cool name, Biggus Dickus Supremus.”
…
Okay, just a snort is less than I expected, honestly.
…Oh.
Yeah, that makes sense.
‘So hot and absurd you almost forget he’s a massive creep’ is pretty much his MO. Sorry. It’s easy to forget how uncomfortable he can make people.
…Honestly, I’m kind of touched, but -- well, okay, it's your choice what to do with this, but for me?
I’d rather you get horny and laugh at this. Yeah? It’s --
…It’s part of how I deal with it. Okay? It helps me process things and move on, if it's just a funny hot story. So I want it to be that, for both of us.
It… yeah, I’ll try to remember. If I forget, let me know if it’s too -- creepy, okay? I can dial it down.
So! Let's try this again. I'll even do the infatuated voice I said it with this time~
Ready?
I said, “That’s such a cool name, Biggus Dickus Supremus!”
… … …I'm starting to regret getting you to laugh at me now if you're going to do it that hard.
Hrmf.
Look, it was a combination of a lot of things. My mind was essentially a puddle of wet, horny goo. I had been all but trained by Shimizu to be a fawning simpering doll whenever I was too aroused. And I was trying very, very hard to not say anything that would get him to stay here any longer than he had to.
…And I was -- am, really -- a massive slut.
So yes. I, sincerely, complemented his stupid, stupid sounding name.
He just preened a bit, and flexed one of his arms. “Do you want to touch? I’ll let you touch.”
And then, suddenly, I was touching his muscles.
And my brain became even less than horny goo.
It became horny air, instead.
Nothing even solid. Just pure libido, in vapor form, filling up my empty head.
I was giggling like a moron, a grin splitting my face, as I groped the chief gods muscles.
He loved what his appearance was doing to me. And he started speaking -- half to me, and half to himself. “Now, babe, I came here ‘cause I felt a disturbance in the super-important thing that keeps this reality from being dissolved. Or destroyed. Or, uh, you know. Otherwise not be here.”
I looked up at him with wide eyes, focusing on his pectorals at the moment, and said, “...That sounds bad!”
I -- just -- I sounded so dumb!
A-anyway. I could claim that we got right to the point, but we very much did not. It took like ten minutes of him bragging like a moron, and me eating it all up, before we finally returned to the actual reason he was here.
My younger sister, Jessica.
By then I was practically hanging off his side as he lazily groped my ass, making me shiver with unnatural pleasure. I could more feel than see his cock rising, and it was so distracting that I have no idea how I remember what he said. “So, something weird happened, and you wanted to meet that girl, and so you tugged her here?”
Now I know what you’re thinking. I must have failed in my goal, and shared information that I really shouldn’t have.
…But I didn’t.
Despite how dumb he is, the chief god is old and experienced. His lack of capability usually comes down to a lack of paying attention and self awareness instead of a lack of raw knowledge.
He could easily tell what the rough sequence of events were.
What he didn’t know, and what I was trying desperately to keep from him, was that the mirror showed my ‘past life’ and that she was my sister from it.
So I just gave the dumbest possible answers to his questions.
‘What happened?’
‘Something weird!’
‘Why did you tug her out of the mirror?’
‘Because I wanted to!’
The worst part about it was that it actually worked.
I couldn’t hide everything, though. To be frank, I didn’t even intend to. I needed to make sure that he wouldn’t question us about this again later, so I said, “Uh-huh! She looks like my sister!”
The great ‘chief god Biggus Dickus Supremus’ seemed to rub his chin, thinking it over. I’m pretty sure he quickly queried the world core to get basic information on my family, because he replied, “...Huh, I’ll be. They really are similar. ‘Guess the mirror must have done something weird.”
He actually bought what I said, as if I really didn’t have a single thought between my ears.
I mean, to be fair, I didn’t, but still!
All of my thoughts were currently between my legs. And there were quite a lot of thoughts between them.
“Ah! That’s why she’s acting weird, her body isn’t native -- here, let me help you out.” He snaps his fingers and points at Jessica. I have just long enough to get a horrified look on my face as my head twisted towards her before…
…Nothing happened.
Well, nothing visible, at least. Jessica, naturally, had a panicked look on her face as she patted herself up and down, but nothing seemed to change.
Well. Actually, there was one thing.
Do you remember how clothing in MISSY tends to automatically fit around the breasts? Boob-sock-ification?
Suddenly, Jessica’s magical girl uniform fit a lot better than it did mere moments before.
Nothing about it really seemed to change other than how it laid on her body, but that was more than enough to indicate something had happened.
And what precisely happened was obvious when she looked up towards the chief god with a look of anger -- only for her face to immediately become a brilliant tomato red. Her mouth opened and closed a few times, and she bounced slightly from foot to foot, as if she couldn’t decide what to do.
His ‘I’m too sexy for my world’ aura was, quite obviously, working on her now.
…This was bad.
Sumiko could use the shard she had inside of herself to alter her body just enough to keep focus and not share anything to the chief god.
Zaylee was a ninja, and, frankly, more used to brainwashing than I was.
Jessica?
Jessica had no such advantages, and I could tell. To go from ‘no experience with MISSY’ straight to being in the presence of the chief god?
I wasn’t confident that anybody could resist that without doing something stupid.
I had to get his attention away from her, and preferably make him leave, as soon as possible.
…So I said something a bit dumb. Specifically, I told him that I was trying to become a god.
More specifically, I said, “Oh, oh! Biggus Dickus Supremus! I’m trying to become your next goddess!”
That got his attention right quick, and he immediately started assessing me with a massive leer. He was humming and taking notes to himself as I was grinding into him.
Fortunately, it was finally enough of a distraction for Zaylee to finish silently shepherding Jessica and Sumiko out of sight, and hopefully out of his mind.
Then he said something that killed my libido stone cold. “Oho, not bad! A full sixteen blessings, huh? That’s over halfway there!”
I knew full well how many goddesses I had gotten blessings from.
The answer was fifteen, and one error.
Then it got worse. With a lecherous grin on his face he muttered, “Hehehe, let me see what they are~”
I had to stop him. Immediately.
I did not know what that error blessing was about, but I didn’t want him to know about it.
But despite my panic restarting my brain, he was still distractingly hot, and my brain was struggling to restart after spending so long as slutty mush.
So I just said, “No!”
Now the chief god is a moron. I’ve made that very, very clear.
But I had shouted out a very panicked ‘no’. Clearly not wanting him to see what blessings I had.
Surely.
Obviously.
Practically axiomatically, he would have to find that suspicious on some level.
It wasn’t even a sexy ‘no’, it was just a panicked filled screech.
The sudden change in attitude took him aback, and I could feel my face going pale from fear, my heart pumping. Some syllables stumbled out of my mouth as I tried to say something to him -- anything to get past this mistake.
…And that’s when he said, “Oh! I get it! You want it to be a surprise, don’t you? Oh that’s amazing, I haven’t had such a dedicated slut join me since Roberta, and that was years ago!”
I gaped at him.
I couldn’t even agree with him I was so shocked, but he just -- he just kept going!
In retrospect, it was hilarious!
He was going, ‘Oh yes, I see now, I’m the best and you must worship me, therefore this is the only possible reason why you wouldn’t want me to know your blessings. I’m the greatest, I have the biggest dickus, suck my cock. Ha ha ha, there’s no possible reason for you to shriek in panic when I’m about to peek at your information, it must be true love!’
I mean, come on!
I knew he was a moron, but I didn’t realize he was that bad!
It’s just -- okay, so, I know that he can tell when somebody is trying to hide something from him. All gods can, with the surface emotion ready trick. But either he’s playing a con so long that time itself will end first, or he just refuses to question his first impressions unless he's forced to.
And he thought I was a slutty bimbo ditz obsessed with him.
So unless forced to think otherwise, he would look at everything I said and did through that lens.
Even today, I can still barely believe it.
I at least managed to shut my gaping mouth as I stared at him as he continued to brag about himself.
Eventually, he gave me a bright grin and said, “Don’t worry, future divine slut! I’m a much better man than I used to be, I will respect your privacy!”
He wouldn’t. I knew he wouldn’t. Not without an incentive.
At least by then I had enough of my wits back to say, “Oh thank you, Biggus Dickus Supremus! You’re such a man! I can’t imagine anybody else would be as patient as you! It’s why I love you above all other men! It’s why I wish to serve you for all eternity! Why, if I was betrayed in such a way by a lesser man, I’d just want to bite his cock off!”
I’m pretty sure I was just done with the stupidity by that point, which was why I was so, so, so painfully blunt.
Honestly, I basically said ‘if you peek I’ll bite off your dick’ to the immortal and invincible supreme deity of reality.
And it worked.
Well, not the, uh, ‘biting his cock off’ part.
But by insinuating that if he peeked he’d be a ‘lesser man’?
…The chief god's masculinity is so hilariously fragile.
Eventually?
Thankfully?
He left. Vanished. Back to his personal perving plain of reality.
And I just kind of -- fell down on my ass.
Too much had happened too quickly.
I got my sister back.
Had a conversation with the chief god, and got out of it alive somehow.
I was exhausted. Arousal and adrenaline warred in my mind and body. I struggled to, slowly, process things.
The first thing was that I'd lost my one and only no-strings-attached chance to reduce my corruption.
That chance was gone, and it wasn't coming back.
And for the life of me, for all I knew this made things so much harder, I found myself thrilled that I'd never be able to become less slutty than I was.
The second thing was my sister.
Jessica was here. With me. In MISSY.
I was scared, sure. Fratlord almost got his hands on her. His aura didn't and doesn't block out how scary that thought is.
But I was so exhausted at the time that I couldn't help but feel an overwhelming sense of blind, selfish relief.
I had my sister back.
And no matter what else, I couldn't be more thankful for it.
*
**
***
A/N:
...My favorite thing about this entire chapter is that there's a big moment of 'will Fratlord catch Elizabeth?!'
And the answer is, 'No, he's a moron, he doesn't realize a thing'.
Oh Fratlord. If you were just a bit more competent, you'd be much more terrifying.
Fuck! Fine, you win. I was way better at this game before I became a girl…
Wha -- no! That’s not a sexism thing!
That’s just -- I haven’t played this game in over five years, and never with this body! I don’t have the muscle memory, the controller sits wrong in my hands, and you got lucky with that stupid flying turtle bomb! Seriously, that thing should be considered cheating…
Pft, please.
Pushing my tits into you isn’t cheating.
It’s tactical distraction.
Hrmph. Best two out of three…?
Oh come on!
Ugh, fine.
~~~
Okay, storytime.
Blah blah blah, I managed to not get caught, he left, the end.
Okay, now for more -- ARGH not the water spritzer!
Fine, fine!
Ugh.
Come on, it's not like that's spoilers. It’s not a surprise I managed to make him leave; I’m here, aren’t I?
…Well, it's not that I don't want to talk about it, exactly, it's just…
Haaa, okay, okay, so. Taking a step back. I should start by explaining just why the chief god had such a huge effect on me and the others.
Do you remember puberty? If so, I’m very sorry. If not, then take my word for what I’m about to say next:
Puberty makes you very, very stupid.
Now there are multiple reasons for this. Your emotions get stronger as your thoughts get deeper. That’s not an exaggeration -- you literally become able to comprehend more about reality, and with the hormones rushing through your body, what you feel about that comprehension is stronger than you’ve ever experienced before.
Eventually those hormones will calm down, and with it, your emotions, but even if they didn’t… people would still gain control over themselves in time.
Due to gaining experience.
You learn more about what your greatest highs and worst lows are. How good and how bad you can feel. You get used to it, you adapt, and you move on.
But the chief god always has his aura ramped up to force everyone to experience him as, roughly, ‘the hottest thing you’ve ever felt from something other than me, tripled’.
Just being near him was literally three times as arousing as the hottest experience I had ever had to date.
That’s not entirely accurate, mind. I’m not sure what the precise formula is, but I know it’s intense. And it makes it so that those that meet him have a hellishly hard time focusing on anything but his body and cock and muscles and voice and pleasure and f-fuuuuck, I’m okay, I’m okay!
I’m okay.
…I’m really fucking wet but I’m okay.
…Yeah, his aura 'updates' how intense it is for you if you experience new, even hotter things. It even works that way in memories, retroactively. It's like brainwashing, except it's pretty much baked into the fundamental physics of MISSY, deeper than magic or hypnosis or anything else you can directly modify, block, or remove. A lot of me still runs on MISSY physics even though I'm in this world, and I can't change MISSY's laws of physics, so he's still 'three times hotter than the hottest thing I've experienced'.
Anyway, I was having a hard time thinking of what to say to him, of how to distract him from us. How to shift his focus away from him.
I thus came up with the brilliant plan of: ‘Don’t say anything meaningful’.
…It’s the best I could come up with at the time, alright?! None of us had planned for me accidentally tugging my sister from my prior life through the membranes of reality and attracting the attention of the god that was, at the time, named ‘Biggus Dickus Supremus’!
So I said, in my usual, elegant fashion, “...You’re so hot!”
Thankfully, though my brain had melted into a puddle of ooze, this happened to be the right thing to say.
He grinned -- or leered? I think it’s the same expression for him -- at me, and did a pose that made his muscles just -- mmph!
Right, focus, focus… okay.
He then winked at me, which nearly made me swoon, and told me, “That’s right! I’m the god of gods, the he-honcho himself, and you can call me Biggus Dickus Supremus!”
My sister, still in her magical girl uniform, barely held back a snort. Later she’d tell me that she couldn’t understand what was going on; she just figured that because she had no idea what was happening, it was best for her to remain quiet for the time being.
Zaylee and Sumiko both were staying as far away from the epicenter of lewdity as they could. Zaylee was using her ninja sneaking skills to slowly but steadily tug Sumiko and Jessica further away whenever the chief god wasn't paying attention.
I was…
Uh…
Struggling to not get closer, frankly…
I said -- ugh. I can’t believe I said this to him. This is one of the dumbest things I have ever said, and I said it with sincerity, too!
I said -- I… said…
…
I don’t wanna say it.
No, you don’t need to spray me with water! Fine!
I said, with a dreamy sigh, “That’s such a cool name, Biggus Dickus Supremus.”
…
Okay, just a snort is less than I expected, honestly.
…Oh.
Yeah, that makes sense.
‘So hot and absurd you almost forget he’s a massive creep’ is pretty much his MO. Sorry. It’s easy to forget how uncomfortable he can make people.
…Honestly, I’m kind of touched, but -- well, okay, it's your choice what to do with this, but for me?
I’d rather you get horny and laugh at this. Yeah? It’s --
…It’s part of how I deal with it. Okay? It helps me process things and move on, if it's just a funny hot story. So I want it to be that, for both of us.
It… yeah, I’ll try to remember. If I forget, let me know if it’s too -- creepy, okay? I can dial it down.
So! Let's try this again. I'll even do the infatuated voice I said it with this time~
Ready?
I said, “That’s such a cool name, Biggus Dickus Supremus!”
… … …I'm starting to regret getting you to laugh at me now if you're going to do it that hard.
Hrmf.
Look, it was a combination of a lot of things. My mind was essentially a puddle of wet, horny goo. I had been all but trained by Shimizu to be a fawning simpering doll whenever I was too aroused. And I was trying very, very hard to not say anything that would get him to stay here any longer than he had to.
…And I was -- am, really -- a massive slut.
So yes. I, sincerely, complemented his stupid, stupid sounding name.
He just preened a bit, and flexed one of his arms. “Do you want to touch? I’ll let you touch.”
And then, suddenly, I was touching his muscles.
And my brain became even less than horny goo.
It became horny air, instead.
Nothing even solid. Just pure libido, in vapor form, filling up my empty head.
I was giggling like a moron, a grin splitting my face, as I groped the chief gods muscles.
He loved what his appearance was doing to me. And he started speaking -- half to me, and half to himself. “Now, babe, I came here ‘cause I felt a disturbance in the super-important thing that keeps this reality from being dissolved. Or destroyed. Or, uh, you know. Otherwise not be here.”
I looked up at him with wide eyes, focusing on his pectorals at the moment, and said, “...That sounds bad!”
I -- just -- I sounded so dumb!
A-anyway. I could claim that we got right to the point, but we very much did not. It took like ten minutes of him bragging like a moron, and me eating it all up, before we finally returned to the actual reason he was here.
My younger sister, Jessica.
By then I was practically hanging off his side as he lazily groped my ass, making me shiver with unnatural pleasure. I could more feel than see his cock rising, and it was so distracting that I have no idea how I remember what he said. “So, something weird happened, and you wanted to meet that girl, and so you tugged her here?”
Now I know what you’re thinking. I must have failed in my goal, and shared information that I really shouldn’t have.
…But I didn’t.
Despite how dumb he is, the chief god is old and experienced. His lack of capability usually comes down to a lack of paying attention and self awareness instead of a lack of raw knowledge.
He could easily tell what the rough sequence of events were.
What he didn’t know, and what I was trying desperately to keep from him, was that the mirror showed my ‘past life’ and that she was my sister from it.
So I just gave the dumbest possible answers to his questions.
‘What happened?’
‘Something weird!’
‘Why did you tug her out of the mirror?’
‘Because I wanted to!’
The worst part about it was that it actually worked.
I couldn’t hide everything, though. To be frank, I didn’t even intend to. I needed to make sure that he wouldn’t question us about this again later, so I said, “Uh-huh! She looks like my sister!”
The great ‘chief god Biggus Dickus Supremus’ seemed to rub his chin, thinking it over. I’m pretty sure he quickly queried the world core to get basic information on my family, because he replied, “...Huh, I’ll be. They really are similar. ‘Guess the mirror must have done something weird.”
He actually bought what I said, as if I really didn’t have a single thought between my ears.
I mean, to be fair, I didn’t, but still!
All of my thoughts were currently between my legs. And there were quite a lot of thoughts between them.
“Ah! That’s why she’s acting weird, her body isn’t native -- here, let me help you out.” He snaps his fingers and points at Jessica. I have just long enough to get a horrified look on my face as my head twisted towards her before…
…Nothing happened.
Well, nothing visible, at least. Jessica, naturally, had a panicked look on her face as she patted herself up and down, but nothing seemed to change.
Well. Actually, there was one thing.
Do you remember how clothing in MISSY tends to automatically fit around the breasts? Boob-sock-ification?
Suddenly, Jessica’s magical girl uniform fit a lot better than it did mere moments before.
Nothing about it really seemed to change other than how it laid on her body, but that was more than enough to indicate something had happened.
And what precisely happened was obvious when she looked up towards the chief god with a look of anger -- only for her face to immediately become a brilliant tomato red. Her mouth opened and closed a few times, and she bounced slightly from foot to foot, as if she couldn’t decide what to do.
His ‘I’m too sexy for my world’ aura was, quite obviously, working on her now.
…This was bad.
Sumiko could use the shard she had inside of herself to alter her body just enough to keep focus and not share anything to the chief god.
Zaylee was a ninja, and, frankly, more used to brainwashing than I was.
Jessica?
Jessica had no such advantages, and I could tell. To go from ‘no experience with MISSY’ straight to being in the presence of the chief god?
I wasn’t confident that anybody could resist that without doing something stupid.
I had to get his attention away from her, and preferably make him leave, as soon as possible.
…So I said something a bit dumb. Specifically, I told him that I was trying to become a god.
More specifically, I said, “Oh, oh! Biggus Dickus Supremus! I’m trying to become your next goddess!”
That got his attention right quick, and he immediately started assessing me with a massive leer. He was humming and taking notes to himself as I was grinding into him.
Fortunately, it was finally enough of a distraction for Zaylee to finish silently shepherding Jessica and Sumiko out of sight, and hopefully out of his mind.
Then he said something that killed my libido stone cold. “Oho, not bad! A full sixteen blessings, huh? That’s over halfway there!”
I knew full well how many goddesses I had gotten blessings from.
The answer was fifteen, and one error.
Then it got worse. With a lecherous grin on his face he muttered, “Hehehe, let me see what they are~”
I had to stop him. Immediately.
I did not know what that error blessing was about, but I didn’t want him to know about it.
But despite my panic restarting my brain, he was still distractingly hot, and my brain was struggling to restart after spending so long as slutty mush.
So I just said, “No!”
Now the chief god is a moron. I’ve made that very, very clear.
But I had shouted out a very panicked ‘no’. Clearly not wanting him to see what blessings I had.
Surely.
Obviously.
Practically axiomatically, he would have to find that suspicious on some level.
It wasn’t even a sexy ‘no’, it was just a panicked filled screech.
The sudden change in attitude took him aback, and I could feel my face going pale from fear, my heart pumping. Some syllables stumbled out of my mouth as I tried to say something to him -- anything to get past this mistake.
…And that’s when he said, “Oh! I get it! You want it to be a surprise, don’t you? Oh that’s amazing, I haven’t had such a dedicated slut join me since Roberta, and that was years ago!”
I gaped at him.
I couldn’t even agree with him I was so shocked, but he just -- he just kept going!
In retrospect, it was hilarious!
He was going, ‘Oh yes, I see now, I’m the best and you must worship me, therefore this is the only possible reason why you wouldn’t want me to know your blessings. I’m the greatest, I have the biggest dickus, suck my cock. Ha ha ha, there’s no possible reason for you to shriek in panic when I’m about to peek at your information, it must be true love!’
I mean, come on!
I knew he was a moron, but I didn’t realize he was that bad!
It’s just -- okay, so, I know that he can tell when somebody is trying to hide something from him. All gods can, with the surface emotion ready trick. But either he’s playing a con so long that time itself will end first, or he just refuses to question his first impressions unless he's forced to.
And he thought I was a slutty bimbo ditz obsessed with him.
So unless forced to think otherwise, he would look at everything I said and did through that lens.
Even today, I can still barely believe it.
I at least managed to shut my gaping mouth as I stared at him as he continued to brag about himself.
Eventually, he gave me a bright grin and said, “Don’t worry, future divine slut! I’m a much better man than I used to be, I will respect your privacy!”
He wouldn’t. I knew he wouldn’t. Not without an incentive.
At least by then I had enough of my wits back to say, “Oh thank you, Biggus Dickus Supremus! You’re such a man! I can’t imagine anybody else would be as patient as you! It’s why I love you above all other men! It’s why I wish to serve you for all eternity! Why, if I was betrayed in such a way by a lesser man, I’d just want to bite his cock off!”
I’m pretty sure I was just done with the stupidity by that point, which was why I was so, so, so painfully blunt.
Honestly, I basically said ‘if you peek I’ll bite off your dick’ to the immortal and invincible supreme deity of reality.
And it worked.
Well, not the, uh, ‘biting his cock off’ part.
But by insinuating that if he peeked he’d be a ‘lesser man’?
…The chief god's masculinity is so hilariously fragile.
Eventually?
Thankfully?
He left. Vanished. Back to his personal perving plain of reality.
And I just kind of -- fell down on my ass.
Too much had happened too quickly.
I got my sister back.
Had a conversation with the chief god, and got out of it alive somehow.
I was exhausted. Arousal and adrenaline warred in my mind and body. I struggled to, slowly, process things.
The first thing was that I'd lost my one and only no-strings-attached chance to reduce my corruption.
That chance was gone, and it wasn't coming back.
And for the life of me, for all I knew this made things so much harder, I found myself thrilled that I'd never be able to become less slutty than I was.
The second thing was my sister.
Jessica was here. With me. In MISSY.
I was scared, sure. Fratlord almost got his hands on her. His aura didn't and doesn't block out how scary that thought is.
But I was so exhausted at the time that I couldn't help but feel an overwhelming sense of blind, selfish relief.
I had my sister back.
And no matter what else, I couldn't be more thankful for it.
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A/N:
...My favorite thing about this entire chapter is that there's a big moment of 'will Fratlord catch Elizabeth?!'
And the answer is, 'No, he's a moron, he doesn't realize a thing'.
Oh Fratlord. If you were just a bit more competent, you'd be much more terrifying.