I Can't Believe They Chose Me To Infiltrate Faerûn 06

With the capture of Zesstra and her patrol, my cult was now nearly eighty strong. The largest fraction were male drow, most of whom had taken readily to the new order once they swore their loyalty. Fealty-Acknowledging Audience provided a familiar context for their relationship towards me, so they all fell in line without any trouble. The problem was their former superiors.

The drow of Ched Nasad, like most drow cities, were organized in matriarchal houses. Each house had its own military, functionally led by the men, with female clerics acting as political officers. Thus every patrol we captured had one or two drow women at its head, and their response in the face of reverential awe and terror was less than helpful. Unfortunately, I couldn't just render them down for parts as, despite lacking any magic due to the Silence of Lolth, they were all educated well enough to make useful thaumaturges. That left me with seven valuable, backstabbing, bitchy women who would stop at nothing to remove anyone I installed over them. There had been eight, but one of them tried to knife Ako in her sleep. The rest were more circumspect after that.

The sabotage and power plays came to a head about a week before Zesstra arrived. Two of the women, who have since been renamed Dummy and Retard, were sisters from House Sanzyllyn. Being from a minor house, they weren't foolish enough to try Ako, the daughter of Matron Aleanrahel. That didn't mean they were smart though, cause Retard had the brilliant idea to sabotage Tolo's workstation. Dummy's contribution to the plan was to steal the vitriol Tolo had been using to make chalcanth, and make a water bucket trap with it on the goblin crew's door. The idea in their tiny elven brains was that, since Tolo and Sprigs the Goblin were my best thaumaturges, killing them would open a spot for them to become my favorite students.

It didn't work of course. The squad of erymanthoi on duty in the workshop swooped in as soon as Tolo's firmin escaped containment, beating it to death in a matter of seconds. The trap on the goblin barracks didn't even catch anyone. Goblins have rogue as their favored class for a reason. It could have been much worse though, so I decided to make an example of them.

Now, I'd structured the cult on racial lines. Each racial group was their own separate unit, with separate leaders and duties. Problems within the units were dealt with by the chief, while any interracial conflict was brought to either me or Stanewald. Given that every mortal in the cult held me in reverential terror and awe, this was a very stable system. Of course, thanks to Lolth, female drow are fuckups who view everything through psycho-colored lenses. Since every racial unit was ostensibly equal, they interpreted that as meaning they could get closer to me by removing any rivals. Thus, if I kept them as part of the drow unit, they would just continue trying to sabotage the other groups, or try to unseat Tolo as the drow chief.

No, the best solution was to make drow women their own unit, and explicitly place them under every single group in the cult. The only individuals with less power were the spare sesseljae, even the drows' perroneles had command authority over them. Being reduced in power below their own armor was pretty bad, but it wasn't going to be enough though. To make the lesson more effective, I decreed that all offenses would be met with communal punishment. For Dummy and Retard's assassination attempt, I had thought to revoke the clerics' clothing privileges, but then realized that would hurt Ako, who actually wanted to go naked for me. Keeping the female drow from hiding anything was a good idea though, so I doubled down and confiscated their hair as well as their clothing. Also got to introduce Toril to the wonders of waxing.

Even with the clerics now visibly at the bottom of the totem pole, Dummy and Retard still needed a personalized punishment. For that, I handed them over to the bugbears. Moe, Larry, and Curly were duly appreciative; none of the neomah I'd summoned as cooks and prostitutes were into the rough stuff. With Dummy and Retard though, they didn't have any such rules, except to stop when the sesselja said. And since the bugbears only got them during leisure hours, the two still had to work with their unit during the day, leading to a rather subdued mood among the clerics lately.

The overall structure of the cult thus stood with me at the top and the second circle demons immediately below. Stanewald had the highest essence, so she was officially my second in command, aided by also having the best social skills of my summons. Mostly she just continued digging and fortifying the cavern, layering wards against intrusion over every new tunnel. Sondok's only responsibility was to be my bodyguard, though she did assist in weapons training as long as I was participating. Berengiere had quite happily taken up the role of teaching the duergar and drow the art of weaving relics and politely declined my offer to give her an official position of authority. 

My army of first circles retained the same structure I'd developed back in Malfeas, mimicking the Realm's legions. The scale of erymanthoi were largely stationary guards, broken into fangs and positioned throughout the cavern complex. A score of heranhal smiths were my engineer corps, assigned to assisting Stanewald, crafting an armory, and teaching the mortals on a rotational basis. With twenty smiths, I also needed prostitutes, so a few dozen neomah had their towers built into the walls of the cafeteria. They were also responsible for cooking, since it was disturbingly common for their kind to pick up wifely skills while acting as a summoned girlfriend in Creation. The perroneles and sesseljae were more like equipment than members of the army, but I'd made sure everyone had a living armor and all the important people had a bug.

As for the mortals, Ako was technically my high priestess in this world, but she still needed some training. On paper, the various racial chiefs answered to her, but I made sure they knew to check with me or Stanewald first, at least until she was a bit more seasoned. Below her, Tolo was in charge of the drow, Sprigs led the goblins, Moe the bugbears, while Ungrol and Hammy led the duergar and orcs respectively. Ako was also directly in charge of the female drow, though they were subservient to every member of the cult.

"So, that's where you lot come in," I told my audience of newly summoned demons, wrapping up the presentation. With the plan to make contact with House Aleanrahel and Zesstra's Daughters of the Shadow Weave, I was going to be away for at least a week, probably longer. While the only mortals I actually cared about would be coming with me, I decided to take the time and over-prepare. Just in case. Even if the demons couldn't be killed and the cultists were ultimately disposable, it would really suck to have a setback just because I didn't take the time for contingency plans. Also, by bringing in some specialists, I could continue training the minions.

That was why I had a double fang each of teodozjia and anuhles, some demonic functionaries, a single fers baidak, and Gumela, the Jeweled Auditor. Plus a bunch of perroneles and sesseljae for them all, can never have too many of those. "Baidak, you're my strategist. While I'm away, you have tactical command. Teodozjia," I continued and all the jade lions turned as one. Fucking creepy bastard. "You have multiple jobs. First and foremost, you're my sentinels. Baidak will assign each of you to a cavern, where you will watch for intrusion and alert the cult should anything happen. You'll also have a fang of erymanthoi assigned to you and in the event of an invasion will act as communication relays. Understood?"

They all nodded as one, then the lion closest to me asked, "And what of the mortals?"

"Yes, you can proselytize. You're not allowed to harm them permanently though, no matter how stupid or blasphemous they get. We're still new here, so they genuinely don't have a clue."

"Yes, summoner," he growled quietly. 

Stupid lions. If they weren't the most effective hive mind in Hell, I'd never bother with them. Of course, given that the next best hive was a swarm of coprophilic beetles with the personality of a rabid pit-bull, one makes do. Moving on, I addressed the demon spiders. "Anuhles, you're with Berengiere and the heranhal. Make whatever they tell you and you'll get all the locusts you can eat. When I return, we'll go on a hunt." That got a disturbing cheer from the pack of giant spiders, and I excused them to follow their new boss to the looms. "Aalu and nenekes, you're Gumela's staff. Gumela, you're the new headmaster of the school I've started."

It was somewhat gratifying to see him wince at the order. "Don't worry," I reassured him. "You don't have to teach personally, that's why you have staff. I just need you to keep things organized and under control." The look of incredulity in his eyes actually made me laugh, causing Sondok to slowly shake her head. "I'll explain, one moment. Okay everyone, you're dismissed. Angyalkae," I snapped my fingers at the three demons I had yet to give instructions. "Go find the neomah den and hang out there. You're here to play music." 

Once all the first circles had filed out, it was just Gumela, Sondok, and I. "Sir?" Gumela asked, his gemstone face somehow expressive despite its immobility. Right now it was expressing respectful disbelief in my sanity.

"Listen, I don't care if you turn the cult into an orgy as long as they don't kill each other. And they have to keep training, that's important," I added as an afterthought. "The problem is that I've got eighty sociopathic morons, all from cultures where advancement is traditionally over the corpse of your predecessor." Both demons stared at me. "And I don't want that in my cult," I explained slowly.

"What I want is a cohesive and cooperative cult, where everyone tries to get ahead by exceeding their rivals, rather than harming them. The problem is- okay, there's a bunch of problems, but the biggest problem is that this region is full of rival cultures, all of whom hate each other, all of whom are assholes, and I'm trying to scavenge cultists from them. So while everyone's pretty thoroughly brainwashed to think I'm the best thing ever, they're still all running on their native cultural mores and I just don't have time to fix that. If I had Yaeri here, we could use Lunar social charms to rewire them, but all I've got for that is Will-Crushing Force. And I don't need automatons." As I spoke I had a sudden idea for a Malfeas social-training charm and had to suppress a snort at the image. "I've been doing this the slow way, but since I'm leaving for a while, I need someone to hold down the fort while I'm gone. That you can teach is just a bonus."

"I see…" he nodded, trailing off thoughtfully. "With all due respect, and I'm not complaining," he hastened to add, "But why not Lucien?"

"Yeah sure, he could do this way better than you, if I wanted to lose half the cult. When I've got bodies to spare, I'll summon him."

"What about Mara?" Sondok asked disingenuously, long familiarity allowing me to catch the slight quirk in her lips as she carefully didn't smirk.

"Oh fuck right off," I scoffed. Gumela frowned in mild confusion, so I added, "I don't summon Dragon spawn. Fuck that bitch."

"He won't even speak to them," Sondok put in helpfully. "Alveua tried to confront him at the last Althing and he actually banished her to another layer of Malfeas."

"Fuck all them bitches and fuck the Ebon Dragon too," I said vehemently before beckoning Gumela to follow me into the corridor. "Anyway, why don't I show you around and introduce your students. See, we've got a few problem children for whom your talents are uniquely suited. To be perfectly honest, I don't actually care what condition they're in when I return, as long as they're still capable of performing thaumaturgy." 

Throwing open the door to the locust pits, I was greeted with a chorus of "MASTER" from the drow women producing candied locust amber. They all dropped their work and eagerly swarmed over, crowding around the door in an attempt to reach me. Even Dummy and Retard were smiling, despite their bruises.

"Okay, everyone back up," I ordered, shooing the elves backwards. "Bitches, this is Gumela. Gumela, these are the bitches. They're the stupid mortals who think they can manipulate me by attacking their fellow cultists," I introduced them, the drow hanging their heads or looking away in embarrassment. "Normally, they'd answer to my high priestess, but she's coming with me, so they're all yours." The demon gave me a bemused look, so I added, "Hey Retard, tell Headmaster Gumela why I'm upset." The drow shrank down slightly, refusing to look me in the eye. "Oh, that's right, you can't talk anymore," I 'remembered', theatrically stroking my beard. Summoning Berengiere was one of my best decisions since arriving here; not only do I not have to listen to either of them, but I'm getting magic pants out of the deal. "Pack up your work," I ordered, pointing at Dummy and Retard before turning back to their new keeper. "These two thought they could get on my good side by sabotaging my workshop, releasing a chalcanth demon, and trying to murder half a dozen other cultists with a loose bucket of vitriol." Gumela winced at that, vitriol was a nasty way to go. "So while I need you to give all of them some good hard 'training', pay special attention to Dummy and Retard here. In fact, why don't you get started, the rest of the tour can wait."

Gumela glanced over, the crystal mask of his face reflecting a mix of lust, amusement, and bemusement at the situation I'd just thrown him in. "Very well, sorcerer. If you think that's best; I will find you once I have finished their initial examination."

Giving the suddenly trepidatious drow a cheerful wave, I backed out the door, closing it as the demon unveiled his tentacles.