Log inChapter 5: The Plan
Li Bingqing did not sleep much that night. She lay beside Feng Wuji in the darkness, her eyes open long after the lights had been turned off, listening to the steady rhythm of his breathing beside her. He was turned away from her, his posture too rigid, his breathing too even. He was pretending to be asleep. She knew it, yet she said nothing.
For the first time since their marriage, the silence between them felt less like comfort and more like distance.
Morning came quietly. Soft light filtered through the curtains, painting pale gold across the bedroom floor.
Bingqing opened her eyes and lay still for a moment before turning her head.
Wuji was already awake. He sat at the edge of the bed, his back to her, his spine straight and shoulders tense. There was no lingering warmth in his movements, no trace of the man who would usually stay a little longer, exchange a few quiet words, or pull her back under the sheets for just a few more minutes in his arms.
Today, there was none of it.
He stood up without looking at her or uttering a single word, then walked straight toward the bathroom and shut the door.
The sound of running water filled the quiet room. Bingqing remained still, her fingers tightening slightly around the edge of the blanket as an uncomfortable tightness settled in her chest. Then she hurried to the kitchen to prepare his favorite breakfast.
By the time he came out into the living room, he was already fully dressed. Neat. Composed. Distant.
"Wuji…" she called softly.
He didn't respond or offer even a passing glance.
He picked up his work briefcase and walked right past her. He didn’t ask about breakfast or say he was leaving. He didn’t say goodbye or kiss her.
The front door closed gently behind him, but the sound seemed to echo through the apartment, far louder than it should have been.
Bingqing stood there for a long time after he left, staring at the closed door. The silence in the apartment felt heavy and cold.
Her gaze drifted toward the dining table, where she had prepared his favorite breakfast. It sat completely untouched.
For the first time in three years of marriage, he had left for the office without saying a word to her, without eating breakfast, and without kissing her goodbye.
A faint ache spread through her chest. It wasn't sharp or overwhelming, just persistent and uncomfortable, refusing to go away.
"He's angry…" she murmured to herself.
Of course he was. Anyone would be.
She lowered her eyes, her fingers brushing absentmindedly against the edge of the table.
"I didn't want to hurt him…"
And she meant it. She truly did.
Deep down, she knew she loved Feng Wuji. She loved his steadiness, his reliability, and the quiet way he cared for her without demanding anything in return. He was safe. He was like a home she could always return to, a place where she knew she would always be welcomed.
But Sun Junfeng was too important to let go. He was something else entirely.
Her expression shifted, the guilt giving way to something more complicated and conflicted.
If Wuji was calm water, Sun was fire. Bright. Unpredictable. Dangerous. Restless. Alive.
She really couldn't let him go.
She closed her eyes briefly, and the memories came easily.
Sun Junfeng had always been like that, ever since they were young. Restless. Always chasing something new, always moving forward, while she stayed behind, watching and following.
They had grown up side by side as neighbors, classmates, and friends. Always close. Perhaps too close.
There had been moments when something could have happened. Something should have happened.
She remembered one clearly. A late afternoon in high school. The classroom was empty except for the two of them. Sun had leaned back in his chair, watching her with that familiar, yet unreadable expression.
"You know," he had said casually, "people think we're already together."
She had looked up from her book, startled. "Do you?"
He had only smiled, leaving the question unanswered.
And she hadn't pushed.
Not long after, she found out he was dating someone else.
That was how it had always been between them. Whenever she was single, he was involved with someone else. And when he was single, she was with someone. The timing never seemed to work out. But she knew the real reason. It had become their own twisted game of revenge and torture, each taking turns making the other wait and wonder.
There had been one exception, though. A brief window in college when, for once, they were both single. Both tired of playing that game.
For the first time, it felt as though the timing had finally aligned. They spent more time together, talked more, laughed more. The tension in the air was obvious.
But ultimately, she hesitated.
She knew Sun. She knew he had feelings for her, but she also knew he wasn't someone who could settle down easily. He was too much of a free spirit for that. He loved quickly and deeply, but he grew restless just as fast. She had never believed that even she could hold him down.
And perhaps Sun had his own doubts. He hadn't pushed either. Maybe they had both been afraid of taking that final step, of discovering that what they had between them wouldn't survive a failed relationship. Maybe they'd both been afraid of losing their friendship if things went wrong.
And then—
He was accepted into a program abroad and left, just like that.
By the time he came back, she was already with Wuji.
Bingqing let out a slow breath. "That's why…" she whispered.
That's why they had never happened. Not because they hadn't felt something. But because they had never had the chance to understand what they felt.
And now—
Now that chance had returned.
When Sun came back to the city six months ago, he wasn't the same. He was quieter, more serious. There was a heaviness about him that hadn't been there before.
"Breakup," he had said lightly when she asked what happened.
But she could see beyond his casual answer. The cracks in his usual confidence. The heartbreak. The exhaustion.
And slowly, he started relying on her again. In a way she hadn't expected, he also became more attentive to her.
At first, it was just occasional messages. Then calls. Then longer conversations that stretched late into the night.
Wuji never questioned her about any of it, which made things easier.
Then came the shift in the way Sun looked at her. Not as a friend. Not just as a friend anymore.
"I regret it," he had said one day over lunch.
She had frozen. "…What?"
"Not trying," he said simply and honestly. "Back then."
Her heart had skipped a beat. Just once. But that was enough.
"I always thought we had time," he continued. "But we didn't."
She hadn't known what to say, so for a while, she said nothing.
"And now?" she finally asked.
He looked at her directly. "No one understands me like you do," he said.
Those words… She knew what they were. Dangerous. Tempting. Poisonous.
And yet—she couldn't turn away. Because part of her wanted to believe them.
Bingqing opened her eyes. Sitting in the morning light, her resolve hardened. Wuji was right. She wanted both. She knew it was selfish and unfair, but it was the truth.
Wuji was stability and a secure future, but Sun was an unfinished chapter she couldn't bring herself to close without reading. A past she didn't want to let go of. Not again.
Her gaze drifted toward her phone on the couch. She picked it up, opened their chat, and let her fingers hover over the screen for a moment before she began to type.
"He didn't agree."
The reply came almost immediately, as if he had been waiting for her message.
"What then?"
Bingqing pressed her lips together.
"Don't worry. He'll agree."
Three dots appeared on the screen, disappeared, then appeared again.
"Are you sure?"
She hesitated for a brief moment before typing.
"He doesn't have a choice."
There was a longer pause this time.
"That's risky, Bingqing. It could backfire. Very badly."
Her expression hardened with stubborn resolve.
"I won't miss this chance again."
She continued typing.
"I want to know what we missed. What we could have been."
The reply came a few seconds later.
"And Wuji?"
Her fingers paused over the keyboard. A slight feeling of guilt stirred inside her, but she quickly pushed it aside.
Then she typed:
"I'll handle it."
A new message came shortly after.
"What if he reacts badly? Are you sure you want to burn that bridge?"
She frowned slightly, but her expression softened as she typed:
"He won't. He loves me too much."
Sun didn't reply immediately this time. When he finally did, his message was brief.
"You sound confident. Hope it goes as you said."
A small, almost unconscious smile touched Bingqing's lips. Yes, she was confident because she knew Wuji. He wasn't the type to walk away, to give up, or to choose chaos over stability. He would resist. He would make things difficult. But in the end, he would stay.
He always did.
Bingqing lowered the phone slowly.
"Open marriage…" she murmured.
An open marriage didn't feel like a betrayal to her. She was being transparent, not sneaking around or lying. She was telling him the truth, and that had to count for something.
Didn't it?
Besides, it wouldn't even be permanent.
A month. Maybe two.
She hesitated.
Okay, give it three. Yes, three months.
That should be enough. Enough to understand. Enough to experience it. Enough to… let it go.
Because in the end—
She would come back. She was sure of it. Wuji was her home. Sun… was simply someone she needed to experience once, so she wouldn't regret it later.
Because lately, her thoughts had been drifting. More than she wanted to admit.
Even when she was with Wuji… when they were having sex… she had caught herself thinking of Sun.
His voice. His presence. That intensity.
As if it were Sun who was thrusting inside her, filling her with his love stick…
The thought unsettled her. Excited her. Made things feel… different. It made her wet.
It had gone so far that Wuji's lovemaking no longer brought her to climax. No. It was the image of Sun taking Wuji's place in her imagination that brought her satisfaction.
And that was exactly why she needed to do this. To get it out of her system. To understand it. To finish it.
So she could return without any doubt or regret.
As for Wuji, she knew he wouldn't look for anyone else. That wasn't who he was. Yes, an open marriage went both ways in theory, but Wuji was too steady, too reserved, and too predictable.
And even if he tried—
She didn't think anyone would truly catch his interest. Nor would he catch anyone else's.
He wasn't the kind of man who easily attracted that sort of attention from other women. Which women would want him? Which women would want to be involved with him? The answer was none.
Which meant—there was no real risk.
So, she would explore, he would wait, and eventually, everything would return to normal.
And that was the plan.
Bingqing leaned back on the couch, her expression settling into a calm, resolved mask. Outside, the morning traffic hummed along the street as usual. But inside the apartment, a quiet, irreversible seed of destruction had already taken root.
