Star Farmers - Chapter 1
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Disclaimer: I do not own any franchises mentioned in this story. This is a fan-based work of fiction.
Beta: Gerald_Of_Revea
Summary: A man wakes up in the Dagobah System. What’s a man to do while living with Master Yoda? Become a Jedi? Of course not; he becomes a farmer. 
-Line Break-
“Have I been roofied?” I wondered, rubbing my temples to try to nurse my headache. It didn’t help in the slightest.
When I opened my eyes and saw nothing but rotting trees and stagnant water, I wondered if I was kidnapped. Then the smell hit me, and I started to cough, the stench hitting me like a ton of bricks.
“Fuck me,” I wheezed. “How the hell did I end up in this place?” I wondered, but I was met with silence. Sure, I do drink occasionally, but I don’t exactly get flat-out drunk either. The last thing I remember was falling asleep the night before, and now I was in the middle of some swamp. The trees were bigger and taller than I had ever seen. The sky was a musky grey. 
“Oh, I’m not in Kansas anymore, am I?” I chuckled nervously, looking around for the nearest road or path and coming up short.
“Lost you are, Hm?”
The question made me jump, making me sharply turn to the speaker, only for me to still once more, my jaw hanging open.
“Not much, you will find here. Return home, you should,” the figure spoke, but I just couldn’t help but stare.
I’d seen him before. In movies, video games, and there are even depictions of him made entirely out of lego. “Yoda?”
“...Master Yoda, I am not.”
“What the fuck?” I looked around again, tripping over a branch. “This isn’t right, is this…Dagobah?”
“Dagobah system, this is. Don't know how you got here, hm?”
“...You could say that,” I murmured. “If this is a prank, it’s a really good one. Because this?” I gestured around me. “This is really not what I expected to see when I woke up.”
“A dangerous trap, expectations are,” Yoda murmured, looking at me curiously. “Questions, we both have. Tea?” he asked, gesturing towards his hut.
“Tea,” I nodded, taking a breath. “Yeah, tea sounds good.”
-Line Break-
Cramped.
It was the best word I could use to describe Yoda’s house. A mud-brick hut that wasn’t built for someone my size. But it was much better than outside, especially the smell.
“A long journey, you have had. A spaceship you do not have.”
“Master Yoda, I’ve never left my home planet,” I admitted. “Well, until waking up today, seeing you, I’m guessing this is the Dagobah System, right?” I repeated, and Yoda nodded slowly.
“No spaceship, yet across the stars you travel. Fascinating, this is,” he murmured, handing me the cup. “Young, you are. But know my name, you do. A story you wish to share?”
“Star Wars is a bit more than one story,” I sighed. “It’s more like a collection of stories. Tales of how a boy became a Sith Lord. How his son saved him from the darkness. How empires are made and how they fall. Where do I even start?”
Yoda smiled, sitting up on his stool, looking at me with interest.
“From the beginning, start. A long time ago, it was, hm?”
So I did. I told him the stories as I first learnt them: the movies, the comics, the games. Even the separate continuities. The stories were easier to recall than I thought they’d be. It didn’t matter if the last time I played the game was over ten years ago; in that moment, it all came to the surface.
“I’ve lost track of the more recent stuff,” I admitted. “The stories I remembered had a spark. Something I could appreciate in them. But it’s been rarer to find these days. There are a few that still speak to me. Cal Kestis and Cassian Andor, for example. But I don’t have the time to keep up with everything. Or I didn’t; maybe I have a bit more time now,” I trailed off, looking outside. “Do you think I’ll be able to go back?”
Yoda closed his eyes, the tiny hut falling quiet save for the crackle of the hearth. "Know the mind of the Force, I do not," he said softly. "An ocean it is, and a single wave you are. Return you to shore, it may. But first, see why it brought you here, we must," he said, opening the door of his hut. “Follow, you should.”
-Line Break-
Dagobah is a planet on the Outer Rim, a remote world of swamps and forests. The planet rarely has visitors; the system is only reachable by obscure hyperlanes.
It’s a harsh, humid, and swampy planet. Worse, there wasn’t any human civilization. The most up-to-date technology was all in Yoda’s hut, the sparse pieces that are there.
“Strong this planet is with the Force,” he hummed softly. “Look around you. See the vines? Feel the trees? Separate, you think they are? No. Hmm. Connected, all life is.”
“Why are you telling this to me?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. “I mean, when it comes to the Force, I don’t doubt you know more about the Force than I ever will, but I can’t exactly use it myself.”
“Connected, the Force is to all,” he repeated, pointing his cane at me. “Exception, you believe you are?”
“It’s hard not to,” I scowled. “You think I wasn’t a child once? I’m not saying I don’t believe it exists; I just think if I could use it, I would have known by now.”
“Brought you here, the Force did. Believe this, you do not?”
“...You make a valid point,” I sighed, scratching my chin. “Okay, I might have some connection going on here. But look, I’m not cut out to be a Jedi. Or Sith!” I added hurriedly. “I’m just some guy that drives tractors for a living. I’m not exactly looking to be…whatever you think I am.”
“Sure of the future, you are?” I hesitantly nodded. “Believe your presence here won't affect the future you foresaw?”
“How would it? The first Death Star should still blow up. If I just keep my mouth shut when Luke arrives (if I live that long), the story should play out the same.”
“Play out the same, the story will? Hmmph,” he grunted, his eyes narrowing. “A book you think the galaxy is? Written in ink, already finished?” 
He walked forward, dragging the tip of his cane into the water below.
“A stone dropped into a still pond, you are,” he said softly. “Say to the water, Disturb you, I will not. Shut, my mouth shall be. But already in the pond, the stone is! Changed, Displaced. Pass, the future you knew shall not. Gone, that story is. A new one, begun it has.”
“If that’s supposed to be comforting, it isn’t,” I grumbled. “So what, Luke won’t blow up the Death Star? Is that what you’re saying?”
“Control the wind; the sailor cannot. Only guide the sail he must. But carry us all to where we must go; the Force always will. Question its destination, you must not. Walk the path it has given you, you shall.”
“And that path led me here, to Dagobah, to you,” I finished the thought. “Master Yoda, are you offering to train me?”
“Strong with you, the Force is,” he smiled softly. “Unbalanced, you are. Stirring the Force already, you are. Realize this, you do not,” he said, pointing below me.
I looked down, and I jumped, startled, when I looked at the flower patch that started to form.
“What?” I whispered, “That wasn’t there before. That's-” I continued to go on, only to look at the vegetation around me. Everywhere I stepped, the color of the plants started to change. Instead of the dull dark green foliage that made Dagobah so recognizable, the shade was changing entirely, turning into a bright green.
‘The color isn’t just changing,’ I realized, looking at the plants in fascination. ‘They are growing.’ “How am I doing this?”
“An exception to the Force, still believe you are, hmm?”
I couldn’t help myself; I started to laugh.
-Line Break-
“The grass that grows under your feet, the breath in your chest, the bird in the sky. Created by life, it is. Chaotic. Moving. Feel it in the now; you can. Connected to you, the Living Force is.”
“So that’s why stuff’s growing around me,” I muttered. “So, what do you want me to do?”
“A wildfire of life, you are. Beautiful, a spark is. But guide it, you do not! Consume the forest; unchecked growth will. Out of balance, you stand.”  He presented a plant pot, dropping the seed onto the soil. “Before you, a seed rests. Intention, you have. Energy, you have. But command it to grow, you must not. Restrain your power, you shall.” 
“You do not know how useful this would have been for me at work.” I chuckled. I could just go to the mushroom farm, lie about for a few minutes, and have a bunch of mushrooms growing. Or, better yet, I could start buying a bunch of Yubari King melons and make a killing selling them.
“For profit, you think the Force is?” Yoda asked, and I just threw my hands up into the air, feeling exasperated.
“It’s not like I can do that here, can I? Who can I sell my stock to? The cave ghosts?” 
“No past, there is. No future, there is. Only now exists. Hold the pot. To the seed, give nothing.” 
“I can try, anyway,” I sighed, and Yoda hit the ground with his cane.
“No! Try not. Do or do not. There is no try.” 
The words brought an odd sense of comfort, my mood lifting slightly.
I took a deep breath, doing my best to ignore…everything. Home, my future, even the fact that I found myself in another galaxy, far, far away.
I closed my eyes and felt myself become more aware of my senses. The air against my skin, the smell of root-leaf soup permeating the hut, the texture of the plant pot against my skin- I started to focus.
It’s not that I wanted the plants to grow around me; it’s that they happened whether I wanted to or not. I need to control this.
I tensed up, like I was forcibly closing myself off, but I stopped when Yoda banged his cane.
“Tense, you must not be. Not your enemy, the Force is. Let it flow, narrow the path. Close the gate.”
I followed his advice. Though this time, I focused on the words.
‘Let it flow, narrow the path, close the gate.’ I started to visualize it. It wasn’t something that needed to be sealed forever; I could contain it. Let it out when it's needed, but keep it anchored when it isn’t.
The Force has much more power over me than I have over it. But I could reach something.
A balance.
I let out a small breath, feeling younger than I have been in years. I opened my eyes, looking at the flower in front of me.
It had left the seed. The shoot formed, but it wasn’t growing any bigger. It looked like a perfectly healthy yet still growing plant.
A smile broke across Yoda’s face, chuckling softly. “Sleep, the seed did not. But run rampant, it did not either.”
The pot jumped out of my hands, Yoda looking at it curiously.
“Listen, you did. The path, you narrowed. Still a leak in the gate, there is. But a flood, it is no longer.”
Yoda’s gaze shifted up from the plant and back to me. “A vital lesson you have learned this day. To control the Force, conquer it, you cannot. Partner with it, you must.” He nodded slowly, leaning back on his stick. “A Jedi, you are not. But an observer to the Force, no longer, you are.”
I couldn’t stop myself from feeling a wave of excitement.
-Line Break-
Dagobah is not a safe planet.
Forget how strong it is with the Force. Forget the Dark Side Cave. There are so many things on this planet that could kill me. Knobby White Spiders, Butcherbugs; probably the thing I’m most scared of is the Dragonsnakes.
If I go near the water, I’ll probably get eaten up like R2-D2. Though the thing wouldn’t be as kind to spit me out. This place is like Australia, but worse. It’s like living in a greenhouse. Warm, damp, and gloomy. Even the rain is warm, making it very hard to cool down.
I grabbed some of the moss nearby, watching slowly as the color started to become brighter, more vibrant.
‘Still need to work on that,’ I noted, looking back at Yoda’s hut.
I still don’t know why I’m here. Or even how I got here. The last thing I remember was…drink? Now I’m here.
I didn’t have a hard job. Sure, it’s hard when you are starting, but it becomes much easier when you understand what you are doing. I worked on a farm, mainly driving tractors. Tilling the soil, harvesting, and spraying the crops- everything a normal tractor driver does. Sure I’d help out on the farm when I was needed, and that was usually more work than it was worth, but it was a fine life. A good life.
Sadly, I don’t think I’ll be back there anytime soon. This feels like a one-way trip.
I’m not a vegetarian, but this planet is making me one by necessity. I don’t want to get close to anything that moves here. It’s funny. The one thing most capable of killing me was the one thing keeping me safe.
Don’t get me wrong, the root-lead stew doesn’t taste bad, nor does the tea. But I can’t live off of it. I need variety.
‘I need to get started on a new home as well,’ I thought idly, placing a hand on one of the trees. I let out a small chuckle as the world became harder, sturdier, and a bit livelier as well. It meant my eventual house would be made from good material; I just needed to cut down a few of the trees first. Yoda’s hut is cramped. Cozy in a weird way, but it was built for a two-foot-tall jedi master, not someone thrice his size.
‘I need an axe too,’ I noted, briefly wondering if I could ask Yoda to borrow his lightsaber before dismissing the idea. ‘Weapon of defense, it is. Not for yard work,’ he’d say, or something along those lines.
And I’d rather not get on his bad side if I can help it. He’s already helped me more than I expected him to. I wasn’t going to toss that goodwill away when a bit of hard work would solve most of the problems.
A big problem with being on Dagobah is that there’s nothing here to entertain myself. Yoda didn't bring any books, holocrons, or anything that could keep my mind occupied. I’m going to have to find some rocks and chip them into chess pieces. Once he understands the game, he’d probably be better at it than I am. If I can convince him to play it in the first place.
I let out a sigh of exasperation. Ever since that first lesson with Yoda, I’ve been taking stock of everything that I had on me.
My phone, wallet, and keys were gone. What I did have were the clothes on my back, my bag, and not much else.
In my bag were a few crops in different containers. Some were airtight, some in plain plastic bags; and then there was just my packet of pumpkin seeds, something I liked to snack on as I worked throughout today.
I was supposed to send each of them off to testing. But on my way to the co-op, I ran into some friends that dragged me away for a pint.
‘My final taste of home,’ I sighed, reaching into the paper bag and pulling out a potato. Yoda could probably let me cook it up. A baked potato before I start my life here.
It’s a shame Dagobah is one of the worst places in the galaxy to grow them.
Potatoes need well-drained, aerated soil. It can’t be waterlogged, or the roots will suffocate. Nearly everything here is saturated with stagnant water. And that’s just the start of it. The temperature is too warm here; there isn’t enough sunlight, and it’s too humid. You would have a better chance growing a potato in a desert than on Dagobah of all places.
“Found something, you have?” Yoda asked, jumping once I noticed he was beside me, making him smile humorously. “Lost in thought, you were?”
“Just some food. Nothing that can grow here.”
Yoda looked at the objects curiously. Seeing no harm, I handed him the potato. He started to poke at it, looking at the vegetable from all sides.
“Good fortune you bring; Fit nicely in the garden it would. Richer, a garden is, with many different seeds.”
“Yoda, if the Force is trying to send a message about me taking up farming, it’s doing a bad one.” I scowled. “That right there? It would be lucky to survive a day in this place.”
“Sure of this, you are?” he asked, tapping the vegetable. “Die, it will?”
I hesitated. “Twenty years of living on a farm tells me that if I try to grow more of those, it will die.”
He smiled softly at me. “You must unlearn what you have learned.”
Against my judgment, I followed his advice. Yoda went back to his hut, pulling out a shovel that looked far too big for the diminutive master. But it suited me perfectly.
The potato on its own wouldn’t be useful; it could be either eaten today or used as an experiment.
‘If there is even a chance, it’s worth taking,’ I thought, picking up my knife.
But before I could cut the vegetable, Yoda raised the stick at me, giving me a look. Reluctantly, I put the knife down.
The method was ridiculous. Potatoes weren’t supposed to be planted whole, but in pieces. The eyes of a potato can be used to grow new ones. It goes against everything I was taught.
‘You must unlearn what you have learned.’ I repeated, trusting Yoda once again.
It’s a hard thing to do. Going against everything you once knew and just slapping it in the face. But I did. And it was for the better.
The next day I woke up; the potato hadn’t been killed, rotted, or eaten by any nearby creature. In fact, it had barely stayed under the dirt.
It had grown entirely too quickly. In the middle of the mud patch where I had buried it, a thick, vibrant green stem had punched through the dirt, a small bush forming that was nearly a foot tall.
Sitting nearby, Yoda looked at the bush and then back to me, a knowing look in his eyes.
‘You must unlearn what you have learned.’ I mused, letting out a small chuckle.
For a world like Dagobah? That might be the best advice I’ve ever heard.