ANOTHER ripped dress? My butt is WAY too big...

Such bullshit, these dresses literally can't handle my perfect figure and keep BREAKING on me.  It's like my butt has a mind of its own and wants to burst out.  All I did was bend down to pick my up phone... which, come to think of it, YOU should have done for me.  Maybe they aren't expensive enough and we (YOU) need to go shopping at better stores to buy me better quality clothes? Whatever the case, I'm ANNOYED. You might as well take this opportunity to kiss my bare ass I guess... get in there.