Finding, Searching

Recent times have been good. Sleep can be as bad as it ever has been but I hold on. In an effort to move forward with the new reality, I've submitted a request for the permission to work again part time. I require income and I feel it's the right move. The focus will be increasingly on being weird, recovering and protecting the thing I hold on to. Something small and warm has been found. 

Two artworks this time. 
A) Commission for Televassi having left their armour by the shore and sinking some fingers into their cave. Bath as rejuvination, gold as the treasure in the field (the divine is lost to the modern psyche, but can be recovered by going-within.) 
B) Personal art resurrected from the depths of my private folders. Black ribcage and black fish. Tiny Theo burning in place of a heart. some vaguely watery lighting. Background deep red. References hypochondriac tendencies. The smallness and warmth of Theo could be similar to the sunken treasure idea here. The fish emerged out of sheer intuition, could interpret but that'd be a lot of work - fish are a pretty rich symbol. 

I've been working a lot more with my intuition. Just listening to the art and letting it evolve. I was wondering how to reach that point for a long time, but I stopped running partly by the virtue of sleep deprivation. It takes effort to stop thoughts and analysis, but silence quickly becomes soothing. Allowing for lack of productivity, of achievement, allowing for things to just come as they do: events, people . . . The soul perceives images, is itself an image that relays the light of the divine from its hidden place into the waking dream. Kinda feels like allowing myself to be enough. What is all this searching for skill, for technique, for being valued highly in the eye of the collective? It's a form of evasion. Yielding to pressure. All I want to do is to observe. The result is that everything happens easily. I no longer expend myself on forcing things. This doesn't mean I just lay there and wait, but it does feel like I am riding along a current. I notice I feel stronger. Even when I cannot sleep, I drink of the water from the well that was closed.

Sometime I'll get around to interpreting my dreams again. I've been making journal entries. Could make for a fun post. 

One man I would like to credit today is Meister Eckhardt. Go read him when you have the time, maybe. 

A tired and glad greeting, 
Theo