Chapter 69: Stupid and Broke

Nisetanaka was in dire straits. Now, alone in a desolate field far from any settlement, he trudged along, swaying atop a white horse stolen from the Ötztal army.

This nag was his substitute for a first paycheck. True, he’d told his mother he was joining the army after she’d hounded him relentlessly, but he’d never said a word about actual battle. He’d requested office work from 8 am to 4 pm; instead, they’d tried to send him to his doom, the frontline. Desertion was a worker’s inalienable right. This Nisetanaka, a man who played the worker without working a single second, was an absolute lazy motherfucker.

And it was all society’s fault, not me. Who decided that a grown man of nearly thirty couldn’t spend his days at his mother’s house, leeching off their household fund and watching anime with big titted girls all day? Was it the ignorant normy masses? Some underhanded law concocted by corrupt politicians? Or a decree from the Lord of Heavenly Paradise himself?

Nisetanaka resolved to test this. He cried out to the heavens, “Lord! Am I destined for honest work, a wife, and the pitter-patter of little feet?”

Silence. No reply. Which, obviously, meant no to Nisetanaka. 
But, alas, his stomach rumbled with the ferocity of a troll.

“Lord!” he bellowed again, “If thou dost decree I need not work, then grant me sustenance to survive this blessed unemployment!”

The response came not from the celestial heavens, but from the horse.

“Get off of me, you lazy son of a bitch!”

The horse bucked the small man from its back and vanished over the horizon.

Even his emergency rations had forsaken him. Not even Job of Uz had endured such trials.

After bitching and moaning for several hours straight, Nisetanaka rose, brushing the dirt from his clothes with a profound air of discontent.

“Ah, shit,” he muttered. “Here we go again.” So Nise gon' draw some dumb shit to earn his keep should he was lucky enough he might find some real job.