This is me in my sub-space. It's not necessarily about a certain type of play. It is about a connection with another human. It is about being in front of them and everything else going away.

I no longer think about myself or anyone else. Whatever they say and whatever they want is what I want. This is why it is so hard for me to want to get in this space with just anyone.

If I reach out to you, I am already sensing something about you that makes me think I can put myself in your hands. There is already a part of me that wants to be a part of you. I feel you. I want you. I need something of you.

You will not get that automatically and immediately, though. It may take me some time to fully put myself behind you. I will love to toy with not just you, but with me and my mind as well. Try on the space and see how it fits. And see how you react to me. Do you want me in this space in front of you? Can you handle all of that even if it comes in bite-size chunks? or do you want to just use me for a second?

Do you want the fucktoy or do you want the sub?

Burn

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https://lisagrayme.wordpress.com/2024/08/16/burn/

Daytime was filled with the mundane. Decisions to make for myself and others. It was exhausting and overwhelming. 

All I wanted was time to pass quickly. I wanted my day to end, but I wanted this time to end where my days and nights were like two separate worlds. 

The day was the real world where I did my best to be all the roles I needed to be: wife, mother, manager, teacher. 

The night was more like a fantasy world. I could take off all the layers of responsibility as I took off my clothes. I left them piled up at my bedroom door. This was my sanctuary, the place where no one was allowed in. I could be alone and more freely be myself even if I didn’t always know who that was. 

But then they began to invade my space. It started simply with just wanting to talk. Wanting to find out little things about me. It seemed harmless at first. I was very careful about not sharing all of me. I kept them at bay for as long as I could. 

Little details would start to slip, but that didn’t bother me. I knew I was not a person that someone would put a whole lot of effort into knowing. I wasn’t the type of person who could seduce anyone with a word or a provocative picture. 

I never thought they would be taking notes. Noticing the times I mentioned working in the office. Figuring out my schedule. They knew when I would be home. They had a good handle on what time I usually made it to my room alone. It was cute at first. Getting their text a few minutes after I settled in bed. It was like they were waiting up for me. 

Talk became pictures. Pictures became videos. Always him talking me into sharing more and more while he remained in a cloud of mystery. Each question I would ask to draw out more of him would go unanswered. Each time I would beg for more only to be turned down and manipulated into not needing any more from them at all. 

I grew weary of the conflict and gave in. I always gave them what they wanted. I was a good sub after all. 

Until I wasn’t. 

They could tell when I started slipping away from them. I stopped answering messages right away. I started refusing to send videos and pictures coming up with excuses why I couldn’t talk with them that night. Slowly I started disappearing from their grasp. They found they could no longer manipulate me. They grew more frustrated with this more than anything else. They didn’t understand why I would not obey and completely surrender to them without question. 

The excitement and thrill of our connection was gone and I knew they would move on. After all, I was a nobody. I was beneath their notice. They would easily replace me. 

When we ghosted each other, I was sad about what we lost, but knew that was the end. 

More lonely nights lay ahead, but I was grateful to have my sanctuary back. To feel safe and cocooned in my nighttime world. No more invaders haunting my dreams with the promise of new worlds to share. 

I snuggle in my special space drifting off and thinking how nice the quiet is. 

I was wrong. It would never be quiet again. They were not done. It was not over. 

The invasion became real, but at least they only come at night. 

On a night like tonight, I want to be Daddy's girl. I walk into the party by myself, but he is always with me in my mind, my heart, and my cunt with the way it always throbs for him. 

I know he loves it when I play the whore for him. It is in my nature to be quiet and shy and never ask for too much, but Daddy makes me bold. I love it and I hate it. I sometimes want to go back to the me before I knew him. Just stand on the sidelines and wait for the world to bring me what should be mine. But sometimes it can be fun to surprise people with the boldness he gives me.

Tonight will be bold. I will walk up to the one I want. I will give him that look and let him know, I want you. I will take whatever he has to offer knowing it is likely just this one time. One moment of being used. I will keep Daddy in my mind. I will gain so much pleasure by thinking of both of these people in my head as I am being ravished. 

Tomorrow will be another day of choosing quiet or being bold.

I enjoy writing. I am also owned. I have a Daddy that treats me well. We have been in a power exchange for several years but live far away from each other. In order to feel close to Him, I often fantasize and write stories about some of those fantasies, about talking to him, what it would be like to meet him in person finally, and what sorts of kinky adventures we might get up to.