Daily artwork #294 // Love

Hey guys!

Today I got an big announcement to make and so today's artwork is marked as public. I am now 4 months pregnant! I will be greeting a new memeber of our family at the beginning of September. 

I only realized I was pregnant a little over a month ago (this is about as aware I am of what's happening around me :D) and the reason I even took the test was because my nails were in suspiciously good shape. They always break, they are thin and ugly and I could never do anything about them. And for the past weeks they have gotten strong, shiny and grew out really long without ever breaking. So here's that embarassing story!

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My story before (for anyone interested)

Anyone who's been following me for a longer while probably already heard or knew about my health condition, that made it almost impossible for me to become pregnant with my first child, Ambrose. If you're not and would like to know some more, please head here!

I was basically told from my puberty time that I will most likely not be able to have any children of my own and it was a nightmare for me for years. I've spent countless hours and funds on going around all kinds of endocrinologists and other doctors to help me and for years I had no hope. HAving children and a big family was always a dream of mine, I always aspired to become a mother and I faught as hard as I could until I accidentally cured myself for a short while and made my first pregnancy possible.

I suffer from PCOS and while growing up I trained hard as a swimmer every single day, had training sessions 11 times a week (2x every working day + 5 am Saturday :> I had no childhood, I know) which made my body produce more testosterone than it should when I hit puberty. It also prevented me from gaining any sort of fat, I was really slender on the verge of annorexic for a while (just muscular slim). This lead to my hormones being all over the place for a long time, made me feel awful. I don't remember if I ever actually had steady menstruation cycles. I only had them when I took pills that regulated my rythm. So I was basically really broken.

When I was beginning to loose all hope, at age 28 I was prescribed estrogen (I literally had to get myself menopause medication) and was told to suplement it for a week. And here comes in my tiny stupid brain, that got an entire pack and forgot I was supposed to take it for a week and took the whole pack (for a month). I got worried becasue my cycle stopped again and when I went to the doctor and told her she got really worried and had me examined, but as it turned out this huge burst of estrogen actually made my skin better, my hair better, my lady parts also better and as she said 'ripe' pfft. And when we had an USG scan it turned out I am actually ovulating for the first time in ages. So this is the amazing story of how I cured myself by stupidly taking menopause medication. Please, if you have PCOS - don't try this at home! :D

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Back to now!

I was not really hopeful to be able to bare more children after I was able to experience the miracle that my first child was. But as it turns out, PCOS is a weird thing (I was told that while I was still pregnant last time) and some women are lucky enough that the huge burst of homornes they get throughout the pregnancy unlocks the cycles and fixes us. I didn't expect for this to happen, but it did.

After my first child it was the first time in my life, ever since I was 15, where I didn't have to take daily pills and cosntantly visit the doctor casue I felt like falling apart. I got better and with this pregnancy I took nothing, I was also not prescribed any medication at all while pregnant (I had to take some hormones last time). My doctor says I am completely healthy and all my tests came back perfect. It's another absolute miracle and I am so greatful for all of these things happening in my life.

I am absolutely over the moon that we will have another angel in our ranks and that Amborse will have a partner to play with and grow up with. I know little about anything else so far, other than everything is going perfectly for now and that is really all I need to know.

I'm happy, I'm tired, I love my family, I love my husband and my lovely toddler, Ambrose. And I cannot wait to share my love with a new tiny human. they are incredible and give the best hugs with their tiny little hands.

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What happens now?

I have been a little slower with work lately becasue I haven't been feeling too well. In January, when I still didn't know I was pregnant, I was sick for an entire month, later I was exhausted and took a very long time to get back up on my feet. Currently I am struggling with my son needing me, my spine hurting, being nauseasous, having to rest etc.

I will continue to work as much and for as long as I am able to and my body will allow me.

Since the delivery is planned for September, I will for sure take the first 3 months off completely, without any posts or rewards. I will probably put the Pandora's box tier on halt, or close it until further notice. I will need to see how to handle these. After this break, I will for the sake of my own mental wellbeing, try and start drawing at least A LITTLE. Last time I took a year break and I suffered. I won't let it happen again. But I will be working out a plan shortly and will share it with you as fast as I have it.

This is all for now.

I want to thank you all for your support! You mean the world to me <3
Thank you!