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This month in the Erotic creative Co-lab project themed of mushrooms. I've worked with a erotic author Tammy Jo Eckhart and Illustrator FireCatRich for this project everyone did a beautiful job.
Story by TammyJo Eckhart Illustration by: Zombikiss and FireCatRich
I can tell that Dr. Linda is proud of us for the progress we’ve made as she escorts us to the guided mediation room for our second session to get to the issues that we haven’t been able to discuss since our failed attempt with another woman over a year ago. Okay, that’s not fair to Miranda. This isn’t a fifty-fifty split. I’m the one who wouldn’t talk about it and then dismissed it. I’m the one with the worries about what a threesome with another man might reveal about me. There’s a roar of negative voices in my head right now that always gets louder when I start to beat on myself mentally. “Stop it, Steven,” I whisper to myself as I follow my wife into the room. Our therapist glances at me with slightly raised eyebrows. “Trying to counter negative thoughts,” I say louder. “You’ve made progress, both of you have,” Dr. Linda tells us. I sit down on one reclining chair while my wife sits in the other. Between us the equipment that will be used to monitor and help us align our shared visions so we can test out our issues before tackling them in a more traditional talk therapy process. “Let’s review what happened time we used this shared reality space,” Dr. Linda begins. “While I do that, Brian will place the sensors on each of you.” One cue the nurse steps out from behind a curtain divider like he did three months ago when we first tried this. The noises in my head escalate when the other man appears so I can only half listen as our therapist explains the equipment first.
I try to block out the internal commentary by musing on what is actually happening today. This isn’t the projected mind-reading tech from science fiction, but what should we expect when it’s only 2059? The nurse will monitor brainwaves, vital signs, and track sexual arousal; the voice roar in disapproval at that so I focus on the equipment. We’ll get ECG pad on various points on our body as well as goggles which simply show light and shadows helping us tune out other visual stimuli. While problems with sex after nine years of marriage isn’t uncommon, it usually is more about mundane stress or earlier trauma. In this case, ours is a bit of both for each of us. Each of us. I repeat that silently to cut off my reactive attempts to play the martyr by taking on the blame at a superficial level. See? I have been progressing because I now understand that is what I’ve been doing for over three decades. The voices in my mind dampen down a bit at that realization. I can tune in again when Dr. Linda goes into the details of what will aid this deep dive together. “As with the first time you tried this shared mediative state, you will each take a pill which has a derivative from three different mushrooms harvested for psilocybin and combined with FDA, EMA, and TPD approved medication that was developed a decade ago. This combination pill has been used millions of times to treat a range of emotional, behavioral, and interpersonal challenges. Less than one in one hundred thousand patients had any side effects three hours after the use of this mediation. I have used this therapeutic treatment with over a hundred patients, the majority of them couples or triads. Do either of you have any questions?” “Just to clarify,” I begin, “the acronyms are agencies that have tested and approved the medication and procedure, right?”
“Yes, American, European, and Canadian approved medication,” Dr. Linda states. When we both nod, she continues, “I will guide you back into the setting that we created during the first session. While I will make suggestions, only you can change what you see and do in your mind. If I believe either of you are engaging in emotional self-harm, I will end the treatment and you both will be escorted to the observation room until the medication has been flushed out of your system. Any questions?” I shake my head as my wife says, “no,” so I add my verbal response as well. “Good. Last time you interacted with a flower representation of the woman you had your threesome with. You each explored what that experience meant to you and how it was enjoyable to both of us. Today we’ll return to that same location, but we will interact with a representative of the other possibility you might explore with another person, a man.” I can feel my body react one way, my cock stirring, my heart beating faster, and my emotions another way as hear echoes of taunting I endured in my birth family from not being “man enough” for my ultra conservative father’s comfort. “Steven?” I hear my wife’s voice, so I look around the machine between us by leaning forward as she is. “This won’t be real,” she repeats. The last time felt pretty real, but I just nod my head. I need to do this, I want to do this, I can’t keep being hostage to my cruel past. “Miranda is correct, Steven,” Dr. Linda says. She’s crouched down by my chair on the opposite side of the monitoring device between the chairs. “We know this is still a difficult thing for many cis men to address. If you or Miranda say “no” or “stop” at any time, we will. Do you both understand and agree to that rule?”
I’m still slower to agree verbally than my wife, but I feel relieved that nothing is going to happen without my deciding to explore. “Do you give your consent for today’s session?” Dr. Linda asks as she stands back up and takes a few steps back from us. I say “yes” at nearly the same time as Miranda. That’s gives me a bizarre sense that were already getting into sync. “Good. Nurse Conway, do you consent to be part of today’s session?” “Yes, Doctor,” the man replied. “And I, Doctor Linda Vance, give my consent to be part of today’s session. We’ll get your beverages of choice, and you’ll take the medication as the first step in this shared mediative therapy,” she says. I take my unsweetened iced tea while Miranda takes the low-fat chocolate milk. We each put the pill on our tongues at our therapist’s instruction then one swallow of liquid for each number she counts down from ten. “Good, very good. Hand us the glasses,” Dr. Linda directs. “Good. Now we’re going to extend the footrest and lean the chairs back and so your entire body can be held comfortably.” I look at Miranda close her eyes, keeping mine on her for as long as I can see her. Once the monitor blocks my view, I look at Dr. Linda who gives me a nod and a caring smile. I close my eyes and focus on her voice. “We’re all going to count back now from one hundred. When we reach one hundred, I want you to picture the same lush glen in same calm woods that we created during our last
mediative therapy session,” Dr. Linda explains. “Let’s begin with one hundred, ninety-nine,
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