April 1st Status

• When it's done.
• There's still quite a bit left to do, so don't expect it for a while still.

How is the Update Going?
I'm quite pleased with how the update is going. Two new locations have been added and completed (Nursing Home and Abortion Clinic). Three new Love Interests have been added: Joyce, Grace, and [REDACTED] (Details Below).

New Location: Nursing Home
When I pour over all the polling data from subscribers, it's clear that people are demanding one thing and one thing ONLY: 1) More Characters, 2) Mature Love Interests. (I guess that's two things)

In order to satisfy these two demands, I have decided to kill two birds with one stone and I've created a Nursing Home location. MC can get a job as an orderly and meet sexy, 60+ year old sexy singles in HIS area TODAY!

New Character: Grace

Grace, AKA "The Silver Fox" is a 72-year old former marine biologist and carpenter who suffers from glaucoma and kidney dialysis. Here are her key features:

• Stunning head of gray hair and piercing blue eyes
• A MAMMOTH pair of F cups and washboard abs
• Apparently has four fingers and a thumb on each hand
• Has an oral fixation and always needs something in her mouth (*nudge* *nudge*)
• Possesses the power of Levitation and can make wine glasses float in the air (See picture)
• Possesses the power to grant six-pack abs to any guy she's making love to (See picture)

New Character: Joyce

Joyce, AKA "The Geriatric Goddess" is a 69-year old former truck driver and guidance counsellor who requires an oxygen tank due to a series of heart conditions. Here are her key features:

• Massive tits and a huge PAWG ass!
• Makes chipmunk sounds when she gets REALLY excited!
• Has the ability to turn MC's hair black. (See Picture)
• Ostensibly has four fingers and a thumb on her left hand
• She's SIXTY NINE, DUDE!!! *Unnecessary Bill & Ted style guitar solo stinger*

• NOTE: This section has been removed due to Cease-and-Desist Order. See Below

New Location: Abortion Clinic
One of the ongoing, ever-present conversations that comes up over and over is the topic of... Pregnancy. In games of this genre, there is always the problem of "where to babies go?" and "What happens to them after they're born?" It's a difficult problem to solve and is hotly debated among scholars to this day.

The most elegant solution came to me the other day while I was jogging down to McDonalds. After asking to speak to the manager because the server wouldn't take my order (Catfish Dinner with Brussel Sprouts & Michelob Light), I sat down in the food area with my discount value meal and connected my tablet to the WiFi and then proceeded to log in to AOL to record my idea so that I wouldn't forget it.

This is pretty brilliant, if you ask me! The last few polls on Pregnancy break down like this:

• 10 of 10 like Creampies
• 7 of 10 like Impregnation
• 5 of 10 like Pregnant Bellies
• 11 out of 10 like Pregnant Bullies
• 2 of 10 like Pregnant Sex
• 1 of 10 likes Visiting Babies/Delivery Room
• 0.5 of 10 like Changing Poopy Diapers MiniGame

• Presidents' Day (US Holiday)
• Groundhog Day